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Motivational Monday: How you can get over the defence of insecurity!

Even very self-confident people feel insecure sometimes. Perhaps you might consider that those successful people, which are standing in the public are untouchable and straight. But even famous, incredible successful people have those sore points you will know from yourself. That is the reason why we are humans, not robots or technical devices who just function if they are in good order and condition.

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We all have our flaws and some weak points. For example it might seem to you embarrassing if you frequently appear late if you have an urgent appointment. Perhaps you already preschedule your day and totally seek to be on time. But probably you get easily distracted or somewhat unexpected happens to you, although your intention to be dead on time is huge, the reality is not according to your goal.

There are many things on a daily basis, which you might want to change to the good. The end of 2018 is not far away any more and perhaps you already consider about your own New Years resolutions. A wilful intent feels strong until you realize, that the reality is totally different then your intention was.

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Whatever you want to change, you should think smart about your future. I know, people always say things like:

If you believe, you can achieve!

And that might really motivate and help some people somehow. But please before you start jumping into something which is totally against yourself….

at first be honest to yourself. There are some character traits, you might work on, but you cannot switch totally from a edgy character to an even-tempered person. Imagine you are curious, active and getting easily nervous. Do you believe, that you just because of good intentions and some meditation, nutritions changes and awareness totally change into a desinterested, passive and calm person?

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I truly believe, that we should change ourselves to the good in a certain frame of possibilities. You will always keep some flaws, even if your try hard to fight them.

There are people who carefully try to create tidy places and focus on organisation, but even if they get smarter in that point, their messy heart will have some accidents like dropping a bootle of milk by moving the arm without intention, or leaving the tube of the toothpaste without the cap, because it falls down somewhere…

People try to optimize themselves. And you can really get better in everything if you try hard and want to change. But sometimes the best idea is to focus on your talents and jut get over your insecurities. Laughing about your own flaws and putting more effort in the real skills of your own, might be an awesome idea.

Why you should try to fix a pipe problem, if you don’t like it? Just call an expert and do those things which you can, like writing stories, improving and inspiring other people. Probably if you try to fix a pipe problem even with good intentions you will not solve the issue, but making something more worse. Try to be authentic. It is okay, to be an imperfect being. It would be boring, if nobody would have flaws and weaknesses. Those small mistakesare important, because they connect us with those around us and even with strangers. Perhaps you fel familar right now allthough I am far away and a stranger to you. But by reading this article you perhaps feel connected with my insights and see your own life a little bit brighter then it was before reading this.

If you cannot do something probably you should ask

somebody else about it and connect with that human.

In a society where most people show off and try to perform perfectly you should consider just to be your true self. You don’t need to defend yourself. Anyway even if you would not have any sore spot, people would judge you, just because people love to speak about others and to claim against somebodys mistakes.

The truth is: Try to love your flaws, and other people will wonder about your smart, thoughtful behaviour. Embrace your weaknesses, just because you can and you will grow your strengthes immediately- If we refuse something, we give a certain issue too much power. That is the reason why it always will steal our energy. If you try to live with your insecurities and focus on your talents and skills and all the positive results, you can achieve so much

by

living in accordance with your determination.

Hopefully you will find the right goals for 2019 which fit to your life and your character.

Do you already find your determination? What is your purpose? Write it down and you will be more aware about yourself. Selfawareness is powerful.

The magnificent difference between feeling & thinking

Todays blogpost is hopefully the right topic for those persons who might tend to overthink their daily performance in life. In a society which is so fast moving and pretty overstimulating, some of us never have learned the difference between feeling & thinking. Others lost their ability of feeling deeply, because they got hurt in the past or were told to be strong and act less emotionally in order to fit into a specific group or pattern.

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This wednesday post will hopefully help you to reconnect with the essence of yourself: your feelings! It’s about defining your own emotional skills. Its to prepare yourself for being confronted with others who are unable to find a connection to their inner state, because they only focus on the outside/others instead of their own inner state/ voice. Continue reading “The magnificent difference between feeling & thinking”

Motivational Monday: How to deal with a lack of creativity

The start of a fresh week can decide about your own mood, as well as your success level. Just imagine you are not on time, quite tired, feeling uncomfortable in your clothes and your own skin, because you are sure that is one of those crazy days where everything and everybody gets out of control. Imagine you have an important appointment and allthough you thought you were well prepared for it, your mind is getting a little bit too dark. That is the moment where your realize, that something is not right. Something does not fit. What’s wrong with you? Do you feel moody? Overwhelmed? Uncertain?

Where is all that creativity gone, which usually boosted yourself to provide a unique result, which others totally adore? If you are a musician, or an author, an artist or a human who loves to change the world to the positive by creating ideas or products, which improve the life of others… then you usually have a lot of creativity inside yourself. Its like a neverending fountain, popping up with  “crazy” ideas and visions, nobody else would have.

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Creative humans are a huge blessing for our society. Without art, music, lyric, prosa and innovations the world would be a dark place with humans who rather would die then live here. Whether you are an entrepreneur or working for a company: With you creative output you help others to get out of a certain pattern which would stick to them like superglue, if they would not escape here and there.

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For example there is a guy working in a huge building analyzing the results of profits. For sure his work needs his full attention and if he does mistakes, this will have a bad impact of the business client he is working with. So he is totally focused and juggles with figures.

And what helps him to do this job for hours? In his break-time he gets out of the office building and takes a deep breath firstly. Then he will usually plug in his headphones and listen to music. He will relax and feel good vibes while enjoying the voice of his favorite artist. Having a snack and recharging his own batteries is neccessary for him, in order to get back to that office room at the 13th floor with huge windows but no fresh air and a secretary who’s shoes make a lot of noice if she is handing out papers to him he needs to sign.

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If he would not have that break-time, where he totally releases his stress because of being outside, having some food and listening to good music, he could not be successful and productive as he usually is. That music makes him happy is great, right? So once there was a creative person, who started writing a song and did put together the notes for the composition. If that person did not, the guy could not enjoy that music.

People often are not aware about the luxury creative people offer to them. A nice picture of a photographer can increase your mood, because if your eyes see something beautiful your mind will calm down and release stress immediately:

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Perhaps you love pictures of happy people, or couples who love each other, children who smile or beautiful humans. I personally prefer pictures of the ocean, because I love water and will feel connected with the ocean if I see photography of it. Everybody is different and thats such an opportunity.

As a blogger and a wedding visionary I am always very creative. I love to be creative and to show my own style. Its part of my business to represent innovations and to have ideas which others might not have. As a creative human I love to express myself, whether its taking photos, writing blogposts or creating solutions for individuals who want to marry at special places.

No matter what I do, until I can be creative I am really productive and happy. But there are tasks too, which really can be boring. Like writing bills and preparing the results of  bookkeeping in order to deliver it to the tax office. That are tasks I am forced to do, but do not enjoy at all.

Procastinating things you don’t like can become a huge issue for creative people. The reason why I write about is, because actually I feel guilty by myself. I am sure about the fact, that creative people will loose their huge amount of creativity by feeling uncomfortable, stressed out and under huge time pressure.

For me it might be the date I need to hand out the tax information. If I procastinate because I do not love to take care of the bills— then I will have a lot of pressure on my shoulders to get those urgent things finally done. At this point I will not have the time nor the potential to be as creative as I am in a relaxed situation. And I will be moody too, allthough nobody around me deserves that. But being stressed out will have consequences right?

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There are authors out there who really can write in a creative and unique way. Their use of words can rise up their readers heartbeat, because they get passionated to read through the lines and are totally in the story the author tells his readership. But many authors loose their creativity level, if the publishing company puts a certain timeline on the authors shoulder and if a person of the publishing stuff asks over and over again how many days he needs to fulfill the next bestseller.

“If you hear a voice within you say, ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced” – Vincent Van Gogh.png

The main issue is not the lack of creativity which arises. As a creative person you should realise which thing or person disturbs you. Which situation triggers something in you and closes the door to your heart? Some pressure can be productive. I like to set a timeline for myself sometimes, because you can really get lost at a certain point if you are creative. You will not have a feeling for the hours you already spend on a certain project, right?

Usually if you paint, you can express your inside to the outside. If you write a song, you can do that too. Creative people express themselves and others are impressed by them, right?

But imagine there is something crazy going on, which really makes you feel strange or nervous or irritated… do you still feel creative at this point? Some people might become more creative and increase their output… but I am quite sure about the fact that most creative people can feel a lack of creativity and overthink that issue too. Suddenly they are frustrated and bothering themselves because they don’t get things done as they wanted to.

I love you to remind yourself on this motivational monday session to go deeper then you usually do. Feel deep within what causes that stress:

  • Do you questionare yourself?
  • Do others make you feel insecure?
  • Do others put pressure on your shoulders?
  • Does a certain time-line make you mad?
  • Are you afraid of the results?

Be sure, that if you get your problems fixed for sure the lack of creativity will just be a temporary issue and dissappear.

Be inside your heart and tell yourself, that whatever you have to tackle you will be able to do it. And then fix the broken pieces and figure it out. It does not matter how many hours it will take or how many days you need.

Be sure, there will be a light at the end of your dark tunnel.

Now please find your reason and help yourself to get back on track on the highway of the creative humans.

Did you enjoy reading this?  If so, I would love to read about your own point of view! Please use the comment function for expressing your insights.

Dark shadows! Why you should focus on your future not your past!

How do you feel today? Are you totally happy with your life? Or do you need some improvements here and there to feel better then right now? Don’t feel bad about dark shadows under your eyes, dark shadows beside your heart or seeing just black right now. Its okay. There was that Black Friday! :O) And everybody was totally in that, while I was just trying to get over my influenza, which stopped me from achieving anything.

My mind was useless, I feld like somebody had hidden a huge piece of wood on my head. Totally exhausted and weak. Yes, don’t be sursprised. You are not the only person in the world, who feels a little bit dark here and there.

There are many reasons, why we feel bad and unproductive. Why we not function as we should, why we questionaire ourselves and our surroundings over and over again… I don’t blame you for being negative. And you should not blame me for being an optimist with a dark side, nor blame yourself for who you are.

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  • Perhaps you get lost sometimes by thinking about your past.
  • Sometimes you might feel bad, because you cannot change some terms you want to change immediately.
  • Being with people who might got stucked in their lifes can stop you from being positive at all.
  • Especially feeling guilty for a disaster you are in right now will not change the game on the contrary it prevents you from solving problems because you already have put your head right into the sand!
  • Particulary assuming not deserving something, allthough you want it so much, is a big mistake you should not repeat.
  • Impatience might blind you for a lot of opportunities in your life.
  • You don’t have those people around yourself, who support you in a proper way.
  • Bad experiences taught your mind, that it does not work and will never work.

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Okay, the dark side is in everybody. Some people try to hide them, some use their dark side to get better, to improve themselves to get motivated.

Do you believe somebody takes high risks and leaves his/her comfort zone just for fun?

No! Successful people leave their comfort zone in order to achieve their goals and to frame a picture of a great future.

If you can not believe in yourself– the unkind answer sounds like: “Nobody else will believe in you!”

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If you have a dark phantasy then it can offer you a lot of creativity. Because totally thinking out of the box is a skill which not everyone is able to build. So if you see something very dark you can really shape the picture as gloomy as you can. Accordingly you might ask yourself about the opposite of that state. Is there a solution for the dark moment? Can somebody rescue you or something change that state?

The best solutions for other people problems were not created by positive thoughts and spontaniuous ideas, while everybody was happy and feeling fine.

Actually people find solutions for problems, because if they don’t they will earn less money or need to spend more time or loose their good reputation…

For example a hotel which needs to fix a pipe problem in the hotel bathroom and offers the guests a free meal in the restaurant in order to get them happy and not a bad judgement on a social media plattform later on. Good reviews of costumers are the best marketing for every company. And bad reviews are the last thing somebody wants to get, right?

Another example is a techniquel device. Why should anybody buy a device, if it does not solve a problem? A solution for  time-management, automatizing, making things easier for the user! I am sure that IT teachnician focus on solving problems while developing new products and software updates or apps.

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Do you know why I created that Youtube video where I tell people how to fill out a form in order to get married? It was a solution for a huge problem. People messed it up. They sent notice of marriage formulars to me which were a hot mess. And if I can’t read those scratchy writing, how should a registrar of a wedding office get trusted with it, right?

After having some nightmare couples which missed to write their adress right… and after a lot of calls of brides and grooms who I needed to tell the filling procedere over and over again… I decided to solve the problem: By creating a video, which shows people 1 to 1 how to handle the job. And the problem was solved, because now I just need to send the video link to the couples and they can sit down and tackle the formular within a few minutes of their time. One solutions: 3 Winners:

  1. Firstly the costumers are happy, because everything is easy explained to them and they can access the video again if they need it instead of having it generally explained on the phone.
  2. Secondly I am happy, because the couples mostly do their job good and are able to fill the form by themselves, and I did not need to spend time anymore explaining it on the phone, which I really disliked after a few times.
  3. Thirdly the registrars are happy because they can easily oversee the form and work on the cases and give me answers soon. Every bureaucrat enjoys clear writing and proper forms.

And there are some other couples who use my how to do video in order to get married with another agengy. And I am generous at this point. Its okay for me, if other people profit of my knowledge. I am sure every company has his own costumer. But inspiring people is still something I love to do.

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And you? Whats about your dark point? Are you still in that dark whole or already rising your head a little bit to see the light? I know, that you can  overthink any angle of your life. I trust you,  that your past can be a huge burden sometimes. What is about making peace with all that bad things which happened to you before? I just like you to motivate to give your future a chance.

All of the sudden you could magically detect that the past could be a book full of lectures which were written just for you. And per chance you might clarify some emotional junk inside yourself too. Make peace with people who did hurt you, make peace with yourself, if you did something wrong. Say sorry to somebody who needs your apology. Give something back to those people who helped you out as you did not expect it.

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In the wintertime people try to hide themselves inside their flats and houses and make it warm and cozy. But if you curl yourself up into a ball you will be alone with yourself and your own mindset. And that might be dangerous sometimes, if you disappear into obscurity.

And every single person in the world has good days and some bad days too. And if such a dark day appears you will see everything darker as it already is. To protect yourself from living in a bubble in the past which is just taking place in your own mind… you should try to step a feet out of your door, in order to smell the world and your own future with all these unborn ideas and opportunities…

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The darkest YOU might be more lighter then my own dark side. But I learned to find strength in all these darkness and to light a candle which brings me trough a state of darkness until there appears the real light. With my motivational posts I always motivate myself too. Thats sounds surreal, but its the dark truth.

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I love to encourage you today:

  • Please, believe in yourself!
  • Please, don’t hide your skills, nor your emotions anymore!
  • If you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, then their is a great path waiting for you.
  • Please, find joy in the little things and stay connected with your heart!
  • Instead of focussing on the past, concentrate on a great future, be aware of the present and take care of yourself and your energy!
  • create moments of joy instead moments of fear!

Do you feel inspired? Just a little bit?

Bridal innovations to get ready: An interview with the fashionlabel Domenica Domenica

As I was a child I was always melted away by classy women who had a great style. One of my best friends mother was always wearing lovely morning robes if I came over with my bicycle to catch my friend up in order to drive together to school. I assumed that her taste was really great and that her husband must have been appreciating that his wife preferred to wear fine robes instead of a typical pyjama in front of him.

Especially for the winter period everywhere we find offers of those pyjama overalls. But please, which guy would love to see his girl in that overall? That is more for a girls movie night on the couch, right? Therefore I wanted to inspire other women and their future husbands to let those “dreamwives” wear more lingerie and to recommend investing in fine robes, which help you as a woman to not freeze but while still obtaining a great relationship too.

I am very grateful for the opportunity to interview the head of a fashion brand called DomenicaDomenica based in Miami, Florida in the USA. Mainly they sell robes which are made for pre-wedding, soiree-ing & just because! So let’s jump right into the interview:

Video: producer: @hausumedia for @haikulovestories

makeup: @anjack_hairandmakeup

model: @eastynn

1.Domenica, thank you so much for revealing some further information about your brand. Please tell us, how did the company was built and by whom?

Hi Nicole, it is lovely to have this opportunity to talk about my brand and it’s journey. The brand Domenica Domenica officially  launched June 28, 2017 by myself, Domenica. I noticed a rising trend in professional “getting ready” photos with brides and their bridal parties and little no option in terms of what they had to actually “get ready” in.

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2.What is your goal? What do you want to improve with your robes? 

I noticed a huge discrepancy in the bridal lingerie market in regards to options. There was not much out there for brides who were looking for a gorgeous garment to get ready in the morning or afternoon of their wedding. My friends were having issues finding classic robes for their bridal parties AND themselves. Prices were allover the place- from $48 for a pack of 6, or $2000+ for a head to toe embroidered chantilly french lace robe. There was no in between, price wise or aesthetic-wise. Everything was very bridal-y.

I wanted to create something different. Something you could gift your bridesmaids and truly wear again. Most of our pieces are designed to go on honeymoons, as cover ups, or, like you said, morning robes. They are bridal but have a very contemporary, ready to wear feel to them, serving more than one purpose.

My goal is to make the entire wedding process curated and distinct. Our manifesto states that we create clothing that are “made for the moments that move you” and surely, getting ready before you walk down the aisle, whether you are alone with your photography or surrounded by your closest friends and family- these are the moments that literally move you into forever. And so, one should be well dressed.

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3. A bride want to feel special and adorable at her wedding day. Am I right that your robes are the invitation for a stunning wedding night and the morning afterwards?

Absolutely.  Wedding night, and many mornings after 🙂 Must haves for the honeymoon.

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4. Which kind of colours are available and which materials do you use for the robes?

We are playing around with textures this season. We are introducing plenty of new lace pieces, lots of flowy chiffon, even some 3D embroidered pieces. We are working with lots of pastels, watercolor, and also bringing in more black (all of our Noir pieces sold out last season!) DOMENICADOMENICA-ONEFINEDAY2018-239

5. Do you have a shop, where future brides can go in and try the robes on or do you have a webshop in order to send the products worldwide? Where do you ship to?

Domenica Domenica does not have a flagship store but we do have various boutiques and larger retailers that will be carrying the brand next month. This includes Anthropologie’s bridal division, BHLDN, and Vogue’s Wedding Salon in Tokyo. For now, our site is our e-store:www.domenicadomenica.com 

6. You also offer giftcards. Can you please tell us more about that? Are those digital?

We do offer gift cards. They are digital, never expire and can be used for multiple purchases. DOMENICADOMENICA-ONEFINEDAY2018-97.jpg

7. It looks like you are thinking effective, because a robe is wearable after the wedding over and over again. Do you produce with the intention, that the robe will be a favorite clothing for a longer time period?

I do, absolutely. I create things that don’t follow rules, which is something I love about the bridal industry. We follow different rules than those of our contemporary RTW brands. We are based in beauty and distinction (the bridal industry as a whole) I am endlessly inspired, to create pieces that one is unafraid to buy. When else would you give yourself permission to buy a multi-color chiffon robe? Or a cascading lace kimono with a train? For weddings, normal “rules” go out the window. You get to write your own story.

Hopefully futurebrides and futurehusbands find joy in reading this interview! I am still convinced that those robes are a great gift too, for people who want to feel special everyday and everynight over and over again ;O). Check out Domenica’s Website! Thanks to all those creative people, who made this happen:

Photos:

photographer: @aprilelizabethphotography

makeup: @mghairandmakeup and @belladinapoliprofessional

model: @cynthina_xin929

Heiraten in Dänemark mit Duldung. Geht das?

Immer wieder werde ich angerufen oder erhalte Emails mit der gleichen Frage: Kann man mit trotz Duldung in Dänemark heiraten? Auf meinem Youtube Kanal, gebe ich dazu in einem Video Auskunft. Einfach auf den Link klicken und das Video anschauen:

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How to be strong if you actually feel weak

The key of being strong is not in your surroundings, it’s in yourself. If you learn to listen to your own voice your will become stronger then you ever would have expected.

Everybody knows those bad days, where literally everything goes wrong or you are totally overwhelmed. Having a bad day is a temporary thing. So if you are aware about the fact that there will be happy days in your future, it’s more easier to face those days which are challenging you totally.

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Last week I had one of those days… it started with waiting up late, our son missing his school bus, driving him by myself to school, then missing something important for our daughters childcare place. Because I was already late I could not do my morning cleaning routine, I just run into the home office to get things done. I was busy with crazy cases, because the registrar office did not react as I wanted them to… spontaneously I got a visitor for lunch, my husband informed me quite late about that circumstance. So I was trying to get my work done and cooking something great. But after I had mopped the kitchen floor and opened the door of the fridge in order to put out some salad, an open box with tomato paste was falling right on the floor, in front of my feet, creating a disaster… yes I can have those days too which are a big challenge and bother me.

After the lunch I realized that I feel totally weak. I felt overwhelmed, tired, exhausted and I thought of just leaving everything and everybody without a word and having a warm shower!

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With that picture I realised myself magically tackeling the whole pile of dirty dishes and answering our kids who consistently tried to argue each other on a higher level. I created hope in myself! Hope for a change to the positive outcome.

Honestly I knew the day would be like this, because I was really beyond myself. But while I listened to my inner voice which really seeked for a warm shower, I knew that goal would bring me through everything. Just the imagination of having a shower was like a reset button. I just restarted my mindset. Why should I get angry or get loud, if the others don’t listen to my advice? Why should I be sad about the fact that I did not get all the things done I usually get done? I realised that its really okay to just be in this moment and to create a place of happiness instead of perfection.

After the visitor said goodbye I just told my husband that I would go to have a shower. The children were playing all the time and were allowed to watch some cartoons. I really enjoyed my me-time, because usually in the morning I have some minutes just for myself before everybody gets up an we get busy. But if yu wake up late, you miss those minutes, and then you feel totally beside the road. I love to have a plan, I love to be strong. But if I realise that I have a moment of weakness, then its totally okay for me to find motivation by offering something to myself, which is important for me. Sometimes its reading a book, having a great workout—it differs on my kind of feeling weak-state. Sometimes I just imagine how the future will be and I remind myself about the fact, that this current time is just one small macro of a huge timespace which is offered to us. So if I realize that a bad day is nothing compared to all those great days I have/had, then the bad day is not so dark as it seemed to me by the first sight.

Your inner voice is the call of your heart. Its like a reminder. It will ring the bell, if you are skipping your needs because of duties and responsibilities. Be aware of that voice. It can be very silent, but it tells you always the truth and helps you to protect yourself to get recharged and powerful again!

How do you help yourself to be strong in stressed situations, where you feel overwhelmed, weak & tired? Are you a believer of powernapping?

Heiraten in Dänemark: Wer kann visafrei nach Dänemark einreisen?

Da ich immer wieder gefragt wurde, ob für das ein oder andere Land eigentlich ein Visum notwendig sei, um nach Dänemark einreisen zu dürfen, habe ich beschlossen eine Länderliste zusammenzustellen. Außerdem habe ich ein kurzes Video auf meinem YoutubeKanal hochgeladen, indem ich auf die Frage kurz eingehe. Schaut es Euch am besten beides an! Einfach das Bild anklicken!

Heiraten in Dänemark wer kann visafrei nach Dänemark einreisen um zu heiraten

PDF- Länderliste Visafreie Einreise nach Dänemark

Heiraten in Dänemark: Gesetzesänderung soll Scheinehen eindämmen

Ab 1.1.2019 tritt ein neues dänisches Gesetz in Kraft. Wie geht es jetzt weiter? Was ändert sich? Keine Sorge, Liebespaare werden weiter in Dänemark “ja” sagen dürfen. Erfährt in meinen YouTube Video mehr darüber

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eKNVIquJk4s

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