Strong relationships are built by those people who care about. If you want good people in your life you have to focus on those who support you instead of judging you.
I was inspired by a humble woman who wrote about relationship skills and that she always had a hard time with her mother. They met each other and their get-together always did end up with the speech of her mother: “AcctuallyI regret that we met each other today. I am always so sad after meeting you.” Usually they would not understand each other and have a verbal fight… but that woman loved her mom although both were so different. That is the reason why she thought about a solution to improve that relationship as soon as possible.
The great idea of re-evaluating a relationship came up and she decided to give her mom another chance. Before the next meeting she embraced the progress. She told herself to just stay in the moment: no past, no judging, not trying to convince her mom about her own opinions. She focussed on having a good time with her mom and just stay calm.
Surprisingly the meeting went really great. She enjoyed the company with her mom for the first time. They spent a whole day together: they went shopping, ate dinner and watched a great movie. They never had laughed so much before.
The daughter really improved the relationship with her mother by this meeting. She respected her for the first time with all these differences and opposite character of her own. By reading that story I felt so inspired by her course of action.
- Why should we not give other people a second chance to be a part of our life?
- Are we judging others because of our selective perception?
- Do we take the speech and actions of others too personally?
- Do we always need a confirmation of the outside to feel good?
- If we are able to change on a daily basis, why do we manifest a certain picture of people in our memory/mind forever?
Unfortunately I am really bad in changing my mind about people who did not find the kind of respect towards me I assume to deserve. That is the reason why if somebody acts like a jerk towards me, that person will be strongly “game over” for me. I am really friendly and uncomplaining, always trying to fit myself into situations with people. But if I find out that somebody is using me or unfair, then he/she has to bear with the consequences.
Perhaps it is just a manner to protect myself of bad people and evil. Nevertheless I am believing in the fact that everybody deserves to get good attention. People are so different. Everbody is unique. And with that knowledge you can really change your mindset. Why? Because if you know that somebody is the opposite of you, it is easier to understand, that the person has another perception then yourself. Other values, different opinions, another past, a different present and another future then yours.
Very often we are in connection with other humans, which we would not choose voluntary. For example you are working in a company. Then you have to fit yourself with the other colleagues if you don’t want to be a smug.
Or imagine you are in a partnership with somebody. In most cases you will have contact with family & friends of your spouse too. That can be a big challenge. On other terms and conditions you could just walk away and focus on something different. In this case to look the other way is not an option for you.
Think about all those relationships, where your stomach starts to ache by just thinking of. Can you find a way to improve those relationships?
- Embrace the moment.
- Stay friendly and calm
- Let the other person as he/she is (no judging)
- Respect that another person acts different to you
- Be aware of your good character and stay politely
- Sometimes less speech is better then discussing (save your energy for the important stuff!)
- Focus on having a good time (be positive, supporting and low-key)
- If somebody offers you an execuse, you should consider to accept it.
- Make peace with your past.
- Try to bring something new into a relationship, which got kind of stucked.
We as humans are living in communities. We are all different but we can support each other with our unique views of the world. I am always dreaming of a society which does not need envy, hate and war. Sadly it all starts with one person: ourselves.
- If you are not able to forgive, another person will not forgive you either.
- If you are not able to improve your character, who else should do that job for you?
- It is your life! Be aware avout your decisions and your own faults first, before you put your finger on somebody else.
Most of the time it is a big mistake to be filled with bitterness. Perhaps the other person was not able to act different in a certain situation towards you. Why you should be bothered forever because somebody hurt you?
I know, its complicated. But if you are able to re-evaluate your relationship, you will be surprised how happier you become afterwards. At first it might look like a huge mountain you have to climb. After embracing the situation it will not feel like this anymore. You will become stronger then before, smarter and more aware of yourself and your surroundings.
Hopefully I could inspire you today, as the woman inspired me this weekend. Which relationship should you re-evaluate? Have a great start into your new week! Use the comment-function to write your insights down.