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Heiraten in Dänemark

Hochzeitsagentur Herzensfreude

Schlagwort

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A resilient spouse is a magical secret!

Do you know those magical couples, where they just look into each other eyes and know what the significiant other needs? Obviously there are couples existing who really have that vibe together, short: They do their thing and it looks like it all just magically happens.

But I will tell you the truth. The magic needs effort, personal investment.

After the first time period of every lovecouple, while the butterflies are passing by and the daily routines make it more and more difficult to create that „magic“, many couples cannot exist anymore or cannot stay lucky at a certain point.

Perhaps it’s all about destiny, you might assume, but if you ever have heard of the principle of attraction you might know: Like tends to attract like. Positivity usually attracts positivity and negativity attracts usually negativity.

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I like to tell you a story of one of my brides, who really was unpatient with their case. Let’s call her Sarah. I applied her and her boyfriends documents. Usually it takes two weeks until I will receive a approval letter means the permission for them to get married in denmark. Sometimes it just needs 5 days. Unfortunaly her caseworker dived a little deeper as usually and wanted to check the documents of the groom by the german authority (means passport control and checking the visa of the embassy which offered him to enter Europe), which had taken extra time.

Instead of hope and optimism, Sarah went pretty dark and messed it up. She contacted me many times and asked me, if I could call the danish authority who decides and ask about their case. I did it allready a few times without waiting her to tell me, because if cases takes longer time, I will ask about them by myself. But the caseworkers still not had a decision.

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Sarah felt fallen apart and was afraid, that her boyfriend would leave the country again without getting married with her. They already had a couple of years been stucked in that long-distance relationship. Two different continents, constantly waiting for visa applications and holidays to see each other again. She was not able to handle that anymore. She wanted to live together with him, at one place, as a married & happy couple.

You might ask yourself: Why does she write about that? Yes, because I told her to not destroy my success quote with her negativity. Her negative thoughts were too intense for my personal taste.

I am okay with the fact that there are lots of people running around  who are not calling themselves optimists. But hey, I am thinking positive and always putting positive energy in my clients and I am really convinced that this is the reason why I until now always had positive feedbacks through the danish authority, means a success quote of 100%. 

There are cases which are difficult and sometimes additional information is asked belonging lovecouples but the results made my couples & me always pretty happy.

So what did I do? I asked the future bride to do me a favor. She should sit down a few minutes to calm down, just relax and not let getting the „brainstruggles“ too smart over her heart. I told her to just try to see the world a little bit more positive. I knew she went to lots of problems in the past and it was unable to be positive and full of hope. I advised her to just imagine, how it would feel like, if I call her with great news that I received the permission for their marriage. She should imagine, that he would marry her boyfriend this week. I was aware about the visa, and that there were just a few days left and I really by myself was exited put did put a pokerface on, in order to give her hope and a kind of emotional confirmation that we can reach her goal.

Everything would change to the good, I stayed positive as I always do, because my hope is powerful and I am aware of it.

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I insisted on the fact that „a positive mindset“ would bring a positive answer to us. Several times I explained to her, that her negative thoughts were stopping the decisionsmakers to find a final positive conclusion. She might thought I was nuts, but if you know about the principle of attraction, you know that this psychological phenomenon is powerful. Being a little bit extraordinary is okay, right?

Do you want to know how the story ends? They got married. Finally. They said „YES!“ to each other at the same week, as I told her to imagine. And she laughed abouth her doubts and her „struggles“ and unpatience afterwards and apoligized that she did not believe in the power of positivity before. But afterwards that great result switched her mindset from dark black to pretty vanilla.

Okay let’s come back to the beginning. Those couples who are magical. What is their secret? They are focused on their power, their success, their progress, their comittment their magical vibe. People might get envious about them. They might speak about those couples who are obviously made for each other… the reason why they are happy and strong together is: They have a masterplan. They create their relationship a multiple of times over and over again. How?

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If its getting boring in the relationship, they are aware of it and are seeking for exitement inside their relationship instead of searching for it outside. They are focussed and feel the other persons need. You might ask yourself: How can I become that magical and resilient in my personal relationship?

And perhaps you will find out easily:

  • Observe– what does your spouse need
  • Offer– if you know the person you love needs something, than offer it without expecting something back in return
  • Be Grateful–  for being with that person. Pay attention to the person you love.
  • Be loyal: safe all his/her secrets and be loyal in every kind of way.
  • Be honest: perhaps its comfortable to tell a lie her and there, but focus on being honest and trustworthy on the long run you will find happiness with your spouse
  • Be exited: Your spouse is entering the room. Are you just saying „hello“ and then looking back to your laptop/smartphone or standing up, giving a big hug and telling the person you love how great it is to see him/her again?
  • Offer Respect: there is a unknown truth of being respectful. Allthough you are not the same opinion, you can offer the other person in front of you respect. You don’t need to have the same opinion, but you can respect each others views on a higher level
  • Get spiritual: Whatever you might believe in, or whatever you have in common— it can help you to build up a strong bond. You both believe in God? great, you might feel connected on a deeper level through it, or you both love soccer or coffee? So you will have something to talk about– or enjoy together without any words needed.
  • Be interested: Perhaps you love reading and your spouse is a person who enjoys movies more then a book. If you know he/she has a certain interest, it is pretty nice to show interest, allthough that topic might not be as exited as you might think by the first time. He/she would really feel more connected to you, if you show interest into his/her hobbies, obsessions and passions. And one the other side: Many books will have a movie debüt afterwards. Perhaps it might be interesting for you to read a book and then watch the movie based on that book as a couple?
  • Do your thing: People often get lost in their relatonships. Thats a huge issue. If you just invest and forget yourself and expect that everything is coming back to you but the spouse does not act as you might expect, then you should realize: You forget yourself, you got lost. So find yourself again. What is your thing? What do you like to do? Its important to do the things you enjoy on a regular basis in order to feel happy again. Nobody expects from his/her spouse to change to 180 degree. Why did that person fell in love with you? Because you did your thing! So do what you enjoy the most in order to get back on track.heiraten in dänemark.jpg

Every couple struggles sometimes. Believe me. In every relationship ups and downs are included. But your attitude is which can change a „relationship“ to a „really magical, and successful, lucky partnership“ on the long run.

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. Do you know such kind of couples who look magical and have that certain vibe? Are you already building up such a strong bond? Love to read your personal insights about the whole issue… so if you like leave a comment now!

 

Conquer the battle of feeling less important in a long-distance relationship

You are totally exhausted! You feel overwhelmed because your friends have their spouse close by while you are diving in the unknown ocean of a long-distance relationship.

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Date-nights, cuddling on the couch, the good night kiss and the sleepy view of the person you love in the morning…you are far away from all that things which are quiete usual for a relationship. You miss everything of those simple habits, because you are without your spouse. That’s your reality.

It can be a nightmare sometimes if you love somebody who is far away, perhaps lives in a different time-zone then yours. How great would it feel to beam that person right in front of you and give „the one“ a hug?

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People assume that they are strong and disciplined to wait…but every single cell of your body is longing for being close to that person you love and you don’t know if you can handle those feelings anymore.

There are voices in your head. You feel lonely sometimes although you know that there is a person feeling similar to you many miles far away. But there are days where you just freak out and imagine that there could be somebody else instead of yourself. That person who is not miles far away, a person who does not need the complexity of a long-distance relationship.

There are days where you might question your decision to have a long-distance relationship generally. It’s hard. It’s exhausting and you are missing your spouse so much that you are unable to concentrate at all. If you feel totally unimportant then you should be honest to yourself!

lonely-boy-2531764_1920.jpgReflecting can help you further:

  • Decide what you want to change!
  • Why do you feel less important?
  • Do you put more effort in that relationship then your spouse does?
  • Is your spouse aware about your doubts?
  • Can you imagine living together at one place?
  • Would you give up your home, work or comfort-zone to be close to that person?
  • Research about possibilities, work options for you in his country/town. Consider to run an online business. Would you be able to change your routines?

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Did I mention the option of getting married? No? No waiting for visa, holiday or plane tickets…just living together at one place.

Some people are not ready for a marriage yet and they want to discover if the spouse is the right one.

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Sorry- having a long-distance-relationship should be a temporary thing. Who really finds joy in this state of relationship? If the other person wants to be free and unindependent then be sure its not a real relationship its called an affair or an open-love-thing

I recommend that you should consider how much your spouse means to you. If you assume it’s „the one“ then ask that person about putting the relationship on a higher level and getting close to each other.

Perhaps your spouse is on board and is happy about your suggestion. If the other person does not want to have a real relationship with you without distance, then be sure it’s better to quit that issue right here right now. Don’t waste your time!

Being honest is important. Everybody gets older. You should never invest your time or give your heart to somebody who does not value your feelings and is in love with you too. Being close and having goals together is a huge part of a great relationship.

If you want to get married, I will be there to organize your civil wedding in Denmark for you easily. Just write me an email: agentur.herzensfreude@yahoo.de

Any thoughts? Feel free to comment

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