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Thoughtful Wednesday: 4 magical skills of being a great spouse

Are you in a relationship? Fine.

Do you want to boost that relationship a little bit? Do you want to spice it up here and there and bring it on a higher level?

Many couples get stuck in their long-term relationships… but that must not be your reality. You can become happier with your partner if you choose to be happy. Sounds weird, right? Continue reading “Thoughtful Wednesday: 4 magical skills of being a great spouse”

Motivational Monday: 10 Important Steps to chase your dreams!

If you read that lines right now, how much are you motivated to chase your dreams? To handle any issue which confronts you and hinders you from being that person you want to be?

I am on a business travel and I met many people the last couples of days who are in that “I dont know what to do”-state. They complain, but don’t suggest an improvement. The others are responsible for their miseries and they are victims of their destiny. STOP!

That is not your mindset, and not mine too. We are here on that earth and have so many possibilities if we open our eyes, ears and hearts for the solutions.

If I am in a bad situaton it is easy to say somebodys guilty for that stage. But putting the responsibility on my own shoulders is smarter, because if I  am aware about the fact, that I did put myself in a certain situation, then I can get out of it too. Nontheless youj might not feel ready for this. Perhaps you are afraid about a bad outcome, the opinions of other people or that you are not really ready for a change at all…

Hopefully I can calm you down a little bit… because if you don’t work on your dreams nobody else will help you to reach them.

  1. Find time to write down your dreams.
  2. Think about a stairway and how your reach your dream/goal step by step
  3. which habits hinder you from chasing your dream? Try to get rid of those timewaster
  4. Which habits help you to reach your goal/ dream easier and faster? Focus on that behaviour
  5. Do you need help from others or need to get smart input? Consider who is the right person/place for you?
  6. Try to educate yourself every day, train your brain for at least ten minutes a day!
  7. Change is very important. People are afraid to change because about the reactions of their relatives, friends, neighbours and colleugues… its your dream not their dream, so you need to change to the good to get the results you want to have.
  8. Focus on solutions, not on problems (be positive and think out of the box!)
  9. Stay positive and patience even if its hard some times
  10. Never give up, even if you fall down, get up again and focus on the goal which you want to reach!

Hopefully you are more motivated after reading this blogpost. If so, I reached my goal for today to help you to be more aware about your dreams… thanks for reading, consider to subscribe to my blog if you not already did before ;O)

Driving yourself insane by negative thoughts

Are you aware about your degree-level  of negativity?

Are you more positive forward looking into the future or is it a dark place with lots of challenges, problems and hard decisions to make?

I personally believe in the power of positivity, although I can get pretty into a dark shape here and there which can be terrifying others for sure. If you can feel the pain you can literally change the game. Some people need to get stuck in a whole ocean of obstacles so they can raise and get great ideas and solutions for issues nobody had ever thought of.

Perhaps that sounds familiar to you?

I don’t like to be negative, but I can be very negative sometimes. And the challenge is to focus on solutions instead of problems.

If you have a bad issue going on then by visualising and overthinking the problem you will paint that picture of your problem even darker then it ever was before.

The last two weeks I tackled a lot of issues and I am proud of it because just my positives thoughts helped me to stay on track and fight until the end. If you find solutions you will realise how great life can be and how other humans can help you on that journey.

Many people start judging others if they are confronted with problems or conflicts. But things are not getting better by putting fingers on others. If you drag somebody down, you might feel higher at the first place but after a while there will occur a bitter taste because you realise that you hurt somebody else in order to feel better for a minute.

On the opposite if somebody’s feeling bad and you can help out and make that person smile then you feel energised and powerful through that process.

I barely meet people who have a positive mindset and are energetic as I am, but I really enjoy people to show the stars and the possibilities they have, which they don’t explore by themselves.

Perhaps you might think: Why do you write that? Why do you want me to be more positive, I dont feel I am able to think positive... and if you feel like this, you literally need that catch up that input, because you get to a point where you feel exhausted, weak and already having that low-batterie status.

Plug-in your charge, whatever brings you joy helps you to get out of that dark place. If you feel like listing to music will help you, than do it right now. If you feel like doing a work out then get up and start moving.

Don’t feel sorry for your own misery. You can create a better place if you change your activities and your own reality. While you do what you enjoy, you will find solutions for your problems. If you just are lost in your negative thoughts, you will never pass that dark tunnel again.

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Go forward, be brave and see the light on the other side of the tunnel! I am sure you will find energy for that. Be honest to yourself and you will realise that you painted the picture a little bit darker then it should be.

 

Thougtful wednesday: The idea of being more present with people we love

Hopefully you enjoy your life so far no matter which problems you have to face. Do you ever thought, that everything is too much for you? That you can not handle a certain issue which bothers you? Did you ever felt exhausted by your own thoughts and overwhelmed by your surroundings?

The reality is sometimes surreal. Do you feel deeply but cannot express all your insights because other people might think you overreact? Continue reading “Thougtful wednesday: The idea of being more present with people we love”

Heiraten in Dänemark 2019 nach der Gesetzänderung

Jetzt ist knapp ein Monat ins Land gezogen und in Dänemark hat die Staatsverwaltung in Sachen Heiraten und Dokumentenprügung das Zepter in die Hand genommen. Du bist gespannt über die Änderungen?

Schau dir einfach mein Neues Video auf YouTube an… ich hoffe es sorgt für mehr Klarheit zur aktuellen Lage in der dänischen Hochzeitsbranche.

Thoughtful Wednesday: Why is it so important to be authentic?

Since I was a child I wondered about people who try to fake it until they make it. I am sure it’s the easiest way to loose the game! Do you pretend to be somebody else sometimes? Read more about the power of authenticity and how you become successful through honesty… Continue reading “Thoughtful Wednesday: Why is it so important to be authentic?”

Montags-Motivation: Warum es so wichtig ist, dein eigenes Ding zu machen!

Ganz ehrlich? Du willst nicht, dass ich ehrlich zu dir bin. Oder lieber doch? Die meisten möchten lieber Honig, um den Mund gepinselt bekommen, als dass ich die Wahrheit ausspreche. Warum? Weil es manchmal verdammt weh tut, die Wahrheit zu hören.

Aber obwohl die Lebenserwartung recht lang ist, versäumen so viele Menschen, ihr Leben selbst in die Hand zu nehmen und zu leben. Ihr Ding zu machen! Widme dich den Dingen, die dich mit Freude erfüllen… Continue reading “Montags-Motivation: Warum es so wichtig ist, dein eigenes Ding zu machen!”

Warum man niemals aufgeben sollte, wenn es schwer wird!

Ich habe mich in den letzten Tagen darüber amüsiert, dass einige Hochzeitsagenturen nach der Gesetzesänderung in Dänemark das Handtuch geworfen haben. Einige meiner Neukunden haben mir davon berichtet, dass Ihr Fall zuvor abgelehnt worden ist bzw. die jeweilige Agentur ihren Service eingestellt hat und Sie mich dann nunmehr fragen wollten, ob ich weiterhelfen könnte. Und ich nehme diese Fälle natürlich gerne an. Ich wundere mich immer wieder über die Halbwahrheiten, die im Netz herumschwirren und was die ein oder andere angeblich professionelle Person den Leuten für Geschichten erzählt.

Ich bemühe mich so authentisch wie möglich zu sein und den Paaren lieber knallhart die Wahrheit aufzutischen, als Ihnen irgendetwas zu versprechen, was ich nicht halten kann.

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Bist du eine Kämpfernatur? Dann hast du etwas mit mir gemeinsam. Ich finde es gerade spannend, wenn es schwieriger und undurchsichtiger wird, weil ich dann ganz viel um die Ecke denken darf und kreativ werde, um 1a Lösungen für meine Hochzeitspaare zu kreieren. Ihr glaubt gar nicht wie viel Potential in Veränderungen stecken. Jetzt sind alle etwas traurig und die meisten verstehen nur Bahnhof. Und die Standesbeamten wissen auch nicht genau, wie sie mit der Gesetzesänderung umgehen sollen, es ist alles neu und komisch. Aber genau dieses Neue bringt soviel Kraft mit sich, weil nur diejenigen das System durchschauen, die mit offenen Augen und Ohren durch das Leben rennen.

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Es ist komplexer und mehr Aufwand, aber nach wie vor können im Jahr 2019 Paare, diejenigen die sich lieben, in Dänemark heiraten. Und ich kann nur immer wieder betonen: Jedes Gesetz braucht seine Zeit, bis es in der Ausführung einigermaßen funktioniert. Ich bin jedenfalls weiterhin optimistisch und freue mich sowohl über einfache als auch komplizierte Fälle. Letztere sind mir besonders im letzten Jahr sehr ans Herz gewachsen, weil ich bisher alle gelöst habe und die 100% Erfolgsquote möchte ich zu gerne beibehalten.

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Wenn du ein Ziel hast und dieses um jeden Preis erreichen möchtest, dann gebe niemals auf. DU kannst mal traurig sein oder böse, aber du solltest dir darüber im Klaren sein, wie großartig du dich fühlen wirst, wenn du dein Ziel schlussendlich erreichst. Erfolgsmenschen lieben es, wenn sie ein Ziel erreichen, selbst wenn es nur ein Etappenziel ist. Wenn du Schritt für Schritt am Ball bleibst, dann werden sich deine Wünsche erfüllen. Wie sagt man so schön:

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“Steter Tropfen höhlt den Stein ” Wenn du nur ganz kleine Schritte machst, wirst du irgendwann dein Ziel erreichen

Wenn du jetzt aufgibst wirst du dich als Looser fühlen. Und wenn du ein Verlierer sein möchtest, dann ist der Beitrag auch nicht für dich gedacht. Wenn du aber ein Gewinner sein wirst, dann wird dich jeder Gegenwind motivieren, eine Extraportion zu geben, damit du schaffst, was du erreichen möchtest!

Das Leben birgt so viele Möglichkeiten für uns. Die meisten Menschen laufen allerdings nur mit geschlossenen Augen herum, wie beim blinde Kuhspiel, bestimmen alle anderen wo es lang geht und warm oder kalt ist und die blinde Kuh glaubt es einfach.

Solche Menschen kennen den 08/15 Weg, den alle gehen oder jemals gegangen sind. Es ist hilfreich, wenn dir jemand anderes einen Weg aufzeigt, der auf den ersten Blick vielleicht völlig überraschend klingt, aber auf den zweiten Blick einleuchtet und dich zu deinem Ziel bugsiert:

Wenn du zum Beispiel noch nie über einen Berg gestiegen bist, und ein erfahrener Bergsteiger erzählt dir, dass der Bergaufstieg zwar anstrengend ist auf den ersten Blick aber du dafür mit der grandiosen Aussicht belohnt wirst….

Dass du dann auf der anderen Seite wieder herabsteigst, dir einen großen Umweg erspart hast und dein Ziel unverhofft früh erreichen konntest, weil du Eigeninitiative gezeigt hast, ist doch grandios!

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Ich wünsche mir, dass du alle deine Ziel weiterverfolgst und dass dich dieser Beitrag ein wenig motiviert, für die Dinge in deinem Leben zu kämpfen, die dir wichtig sind und dein Herz mit Freude erfüllen.

Es ist schade, dass so viele Menschen einfach immer nur funktionieren und auf ihr “Schicksal” reagieren, anstatt selbst aktiv ihr Leben in die Hand zu nehmen und zu gestalten. Sei mutig und stolz über jede kleine Tat, die dich weiterbringt und vor allem eins: Wenn du optimistisch in die Welt blickst, dann kommt soviel positives zurück. Du wirst dich wundern, wie viele Wege es im Leben gibt und wie wertvoll es ist, wenn du auch mal über eine Hürde springst oder einen Stein wegräumst, der dir in den Weg gelegt worden ist…

Was bringt dir neue Kraft, wenn es einmal schwer wird? Hast du dein Ziel dann noch vor Augen? Oder siehst du dann nur die Probleme, die sich gerade auftun? Nutze die Kommentar-Funktion, wenn du etwas zu diesem Beitrag schreiben möchtest. Wenn dir der Beitrag gefällt, dann freue ich mich, wenn du mir ein Like gibst oder diesen Beitrag zur Motivation mit deinen Freunden und Bekannten teilst. Ich wünsche dir, dass du alles schaffst, wovon du träumst. Gerne kannst du meinen Blog abonnieren, indem du unten deine Email einträgst.

Das Zeichen wahrer Intelligenz ist nicht Wissen, sondern Fantasie. -Albert Einstein

Motivational Monday: Be careful! How to live with a spouse who is totally the opposite of you!

Let me tell you a story…about a girl who deeply felt in love with a man. She was young, curious and full of hope as she met the man of her life.

She thought it would last forever. Her love was tested through a lot of problems in their future. She loved planning while he found fun in being spontaneous. She loved to be alone and in a quiet place while he needed the crowd and lots of noises to feel comfy.

They really enjoyed each other but they were so different, that they struggled with the vision of their relationship more often.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a drama if man and woman are different, they usually are and that’s natural. It’s quite exiting to be the opposite of each other… you will not bore each other at all but you need a certain base which grounds you as a couple. Trust, loyalty and happiness need an interaction of both. A successful relationship is a challenge. Back to the story:

The girl became a mother and her husband was happy about having a family with her. He enjoyed his new position as a father while he felt somehow ignored by his wife, because she physically was closer to their child then to him for the first couples of month after her childbirth.

baby-20339_1920.jpgThe girl was pretty busy with her daughter who needed her full attention. She did not realize that her husband was longing for intention too.

She was tired, overwhelmed and the home became pretty messy. There were days when she could not do the dishes or had no power to do at least a 10 minutes clean up. She was running around without doing her hair or laying on make up and because her baby bump did not disappear as fast as she wanted she felt insecure and unattractive. She disremembered to be intimate with her husband.

Her husband was patient with her at this point. And he ignored that messy circumstance in their house for a while, until he discovered that the fridge became too stinky and the garbage bin was flowing over by dirty diapers. Because she always was just inside the house, she did not realize that bad smell.

Once he went home and their baby girl had spilled a few seconds ago all over her mothers outfit. She felt weak and tired. After saying “hallo my dear” he started a conversation with her: “Hey what’s up?”, he asked her: “I called my brother Michael. He and his wife will come over tomorrow. They will visit us for lunch” She did not say anything.

But it was like a straightforward hit right into her face. Michaels wife Bianca was that kind of “clean mom”, that stay at home mom which loves to clean until every corner in her entire house would be sparkling tidy. Bianca was a passionate cook with lots of delicious food ideas. Thinking of having her around made the girl feel weaker then she already felt before.  Biancas children were already grown up and she always had to offer the girl a lot of hacks and supportive comments, which were inappropriate sometimes.

The girl dreamed of being perfect but was procrastinating every single score in her house so far. She had five laundry baskets of clothes in the basement which needed a great fold. And thinking of all those other spots which needed to be cleaned up made her angry and sad all together.

In her house were lots of messy areas with little stuff which needed to be organized. She asked herself how she should clean her home until her visitors would arrive. All of the sudden she became tired of everything. She felt exhausted. But her husband did not realize that she needed just a few days to reconnect with herself. But how should he know? She did not tell him how she felt like. While she started cleaning he went to the gym to meet his friends.

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Of course she functioned and cleaned up the mess. Michael and Bianca came over and had a great time. The girl felt weird all the time. She did not enjoy the conversation with them. Actually she was not interested if their dog would create messes or did not poop properly every morning.

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She always wanted to improve the world and help others to become better, smarter and happier and now after being a mom she was literally exhausted by any kind of non-sense conversation. She was longing for an intellectual exchange while all those friends and family members of Michael dealt with her superficially.

Her own friends became rare after getting married to her husband. She was young and moved to another town. Being a stay at home mom was more difficult then being an employee.

Her husband did not realize that their actual life teared her apart. She felt lonely although she had contact with others and Michael gave his best to entertain her.Sometimes she had dark days where she just felt to be in the wrong world. Especially if she was overwhelmed by noises she just imagined to escape suddenly into her own world.

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While Michael switched on the news loudly or was watching a tv show or a movie she preferred to read books in a quiet corner of their house. She never had told him, that she can’t tolerate that huge sound. Instead of this she just had hidden herself to the backround.

Once a day Michael did not come home from work. He did not call her that he would come late or needed to work longer then usual.

A couple of weeks ago they had a serious conversation. He told her that she did not find joy at all with him and that he missed to be close to her. He described her as a shell, which would close suddenly by being touched.

And perhaps he was right. More then right. She did not feed her husbands needs. She thought it were just physically but she had closed her heart for his input at all. He really wanted to help her and to support her in order to rescue their relationship, which started full of passion many years ago and was just feeling more then strange right now.

I will not bother you… you need to know the end of the story. The end is surprisingly dark. Perhaps you assume that he felt in love with another woman, he did not. He was totally loyal toward his wife, allthough she forgot to satisfy him.

On this late afternoon she got a call from a police officer. Then a call from the hospital. Her husband was injured by having a heavy car crush. As she arrived at the hospital, he was already dead. They did found fresh flowers which he had bought for her and he had written something like this on the flowercard: for my shell… let me show you how great we fit together. I will always love you until I die”

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He died very quickly because his head was bad injured. The doctors could not rescue him. The girl became a widow within a few minutes. It was a nightmare on a sunny day. Today she had prepared a candle light dinner and had decided to give all her heart to him. She had bought new underwear and had given her daughter to the grandmother in order to care just for her husband. And then suddenly those dark news. She regretted that she did refuse to be close to him all those weeks and month before.

As she got the flowers by the policeman she felt like her heart was falling apart. She did realize how much her husband had meant to her and how bad she had ignored all his small lovely actions of the last couples of months to come close to her again. She had been stucked in her own phantasy, had hidden herself allthough it was not necessary to hide herself.

It is a sad story. I know. That is the reason why I wanted to share this story with you. It’s important to recognize the lessons we can learn through this story:

  • Don’t procrastinate to show your love although you are quite different
  • Never miss to fill the other persons love pocket
  • In a relationship you should try to think how the other person might feel like.
  • Come out of your comfort zone
  • Invest in your future be aware of the present
  • COMMUNICATE!
  • Having children changes a marriage. It’s important to be intimate again after having children. Couples who are not intimate can not stay tuned as those who are.
  • Don’t wait to show the other person how much he/she means to you. It could be your last day in life
  • No regrets. Try to life in the moment. Thinking too much of your past or just imagine how a better future can be can make you forget to be present for the person who needs your attention right now.
  • Sharing a life together means to be there for each other. If the girl would have asked for help or did try to tell her husband how she felt, he could probably help her to get out of her overwhelming situation/ aka depression state.
  • Being in a non-verbal relationship because one of the spouses refuses to be open-minded is a huge fault.
  • It’s better to say what you think no matter what will happen afterwards. If you just swallow your pain, fears and struggles down you are actually not in a relationship. You live with somebody but you don’t share your thoughts and feelings with that person. That is contra-productive and superficial.
  • Every relationship has its up-s and down-s. Spouses who are aware of each other flaws and characteristics are more likely happier and easily solve their problems.
  • Be aware of your inner state. Its so important to be aware about your own. If you are not in peace with yourself, you can never be with somebody else

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Don’t get me wrong. My husband and I for example are totally the opposite of each other:

Me: early riser-He night owl

Me: extraverted- he introverted

Me: I love planning – he loves to be spontanious

I could tell you even more differences, because we are totally the opposite of each other. But we have a certain base. We are grounded by our beliefs, and our values and our goals (allthough those are quite different too)- Goals set us boundaries as well as offer us a bunch of opportunities. Love can be very intensive and true, but you need to stay tuned and be authentic with the person you share your life with.

Hopefully that story helps you to awake, if you have falling asleep in your relationship. Its so important to be aware of your NOW and to be prepared for the future, however it might looks like. We cannot control everything, but we can try to lead ourselves to happiness and success. Be inspired and reflect so you will not regret your life.

You like that kind of content? Then give me a like. If you want to read more motivational stuff, relationship-hacks and positive thoughts in general then consider to subscribe to my blog. If you fill out down below your emailadress, you will not miss a blogpost of mine anymore. I wish you just the best and hope you will become more happier and positive in 2019.

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