In diesem Video erfährst du, wie du mit deiner Angst vor einer Wiederholung einer schlimmen Situation am besten umgehen kannst- damit du dich optimal aufstellen kannst! Verbessere deine Performance, dein Leben in allen Bereichen. Schau dir das kurze Video an und motiviere dich selbst nach vorne zu blicken:
Das Thema Hypersensibilität ist eine Angelegenheit, die mich selber betrifft, da ich mich selbst zu dem Personenkreis der HSP (High Sensitive Persons)- wie es im Englischen immer genannt wird, zähle.
Es gibt verschiedene Formen der Hypersensibilität und es wird eher akzeptiert, wenn Frauen sich als hochsensibel outen. Viele hochsensible Menschen laufen herum, ohne sich darüber überhaupt bewusst zu sein. Ich muss zugeben, dass es bei mir auch lange Zeit gedauert hat, bis ich gemerkt habe, dass ich nicht „komisch“ bin, sondern einfach nur hypersensibel. Es ist sowohl eine riesige Kraft die wir da innehalten-aber wir müssen auch ganz viel auf uns selbst achten, damit wir nicht krank werden.
Heute habe ich für Euch einen Experten an meiner Seite: Christopher Hensellek. Mit seiner Webseite Hypersensibel und seiner Arbeit als Hochsensibilitätsberater & Achtsamkeitscoach bringt Christopher allen Hochsensiblen helles Licht in den dunklen Tunnel, in dem der ein oder andere gerade steckt.
Ich möchte gerne mal das Thema Hochsensibilität auf meinem Blog ansprechen und freue mich, auf Christophers Expertenantworten…
Lieber Christopher, zunächst vielen Dank dass du dir die Zeit genommen hast, für ein persönliches Interview zum Thema Hochsensibilität. Du bezeichnest dich ja auch selbst als hochsensibel. Dabei gibt es ja extrovertierte und introvierte HSP-ler.
1. Zu welcher Sorte HSP zählst du dich selbst und was ist der Unterschied zwischen den beiden (extrovertiert & introvertiert)? Weiterlesen „Bist du hochsensibel? Experten-Interview mit dem Hochsensibilitätsberater Christopher Hensellek“
Do you know those magical couples, where they just look into each other eyes and know what the significiant other needs? Obviously there are couples existing who really have that vibe together, short: They do their thing and it looks like it all just magically happens.
But I will tell you the truth. The magic needs effort, personal investment.
After the first time period of every lovecouple, while the butterflies are passing by and the daily routines make it more and more difficult to create that „magic“, many couples cannot exist anymore or cannot stay lucky at a certain point.
Perhaps it’s all about destiny, you might assume, but if you ever have heard of the principle of attraction you might know: Like tends to attract like. Positivity usually attracts positivity and negativity attracts usually negativity.
I like to tell you a story of one of my brides, who really was unpatient with their case. Let’s call her Sarah. I applied her and her boyfriends documents. Usually it takes two weeks until I will receive a approval letter means the permission for them to get married in denmark. Sometimes it just needs 5 days. Unfortunaly her caseworker dived a little deeper as usually and wanted to check the documents of the groom by the german authority (means passport control and checking the visa of the embassy which offered him to enter Europe), which had taken extra time.
Instead of hope and optimism, Sarah went pretty dark and messed it up. She contacted me many times and asked me, if I could call the danish authority who decides and ask about their case. I did it allready a few times without waiting her to tell me, because if cases takes longer time, I will ask about them by myself. But the caseworkers still not had a decision.
Sarah felt fallen apart and was afraid, that her boyfriend would leave the country again without getting married with her. They already had a couple of years been stucked in that long-distance relationship. Two different continents, constantly waiting for visa applications and holidays to see each other again. She was not able to handle that anymore. She wanted to live together with him, at one place, as a married & happy couple.
You might ask yourself: Why does she write about that? Yes, because I told her to not destroy my success quote with her negativity. Her negative thoughts were too intense for my personal taste.
I am okay with the fact that there are lots of people running around who are not calling themselves optimists. But hey, I am thinking positive and always putting positive energy in my clients and I am really convinced that this is the reason why I until now always had positive feedbacks through the danish authority, means a success quote of 100%.
There are cases which are difficult and sometimes additional information is asked belonging lovecouples but the results made my couples & me always pretty happy.
So what did I do? I asked the future bride to do me a favor. She should sit down a few minutes to calm down, just relax and not let getting the „brainstruggles“ too smart over her heart. I told her to just try to see the world a little bit more positive. I knew she went to lots of problems in the past and it was unable to be positive and full of hope. I advised her to just imagine, how it would feel like, if I call her with great news that I received the permission for their marriage. She should imagine, that he would marry her boyfriend this week. I was aware about the visa, and that there were just a few days left and I really by myself was exited put did put a pokerface on, in order to give her hope and a kind of emotional confirmation that we can reach her goal.
Everything would change to the good, I stayed positive as I always do, because my hope is powerful and I am aware of it.
I insisted on the fact that „a positive mindset“ would bring a positive answer to us. Several times I explained to her, that her negative thoughts were stopping the decisionsmakers to find a final positive conclusion. She might thought I was nuts, but if you know about the principle of attraction, you know that this psychological phenomenon is powerful. Being a little bit extraordinary is okay, right?
Do you want to know how the story ends? They got married. Finally. They said „YES!“ to each other at the same week, as I told her to imagine. And she laughed abouth her doubts and her „struggles“ and unpatience afterwards and apoligized that she did not believe in the power of positivity before. But afterwards that great result switched her mindset from dark black to pretty vanilla.
Okay let’s come back to the beginning. Those couples who are magical. What is their secret? They are focused on their power, their success, their progress, their comittment their magical vibe. People might get envious about them. They might speak about those couples who are obviously made for each other… the reason why they are happy and strong together is: They have a masterplan. They create their relationship a multiple of times over and over again. How?
If its getting boring in the relationship, they are aware of it and are seeking for exitement inside their relationship instead of searching for it outside. They are focussed and feel the other persons need. You might ask yourself: How can I become that magical and resilient in my personal relationship?
And perhaps you will find out easily:
Every couple struggles sometimes. Believe me. In every relationship ups and downs are included. But your attitude is which can change a „relationship“ to a „really magical, and successful, lucky partnership“ on the long run.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. Do you know such kind of couples who look magical and have that certain vibe? Are you already building up such a strong bond? Love to read your personal insights about the whole issue… so if you like leave a comment now!
This article will help you to get things done. It will support you to focus on your own stuff! Weiterlesen „Why you should focus on yourself firstly!“
Ganz ehrlich? Du willst nicht, dass ich ehrlich zu dir bin. Oder lieber doch? Die meisten möchten lieber Honig, um den Mund gepinselt bekommen, als dass ich die Wahrheit ausspreche. Warum? Weil es manchmal verdammt weh tut, die Wahrheit zu hören.
Aber obwohl die Lebenserwartung recht lang ist, versäumen so viele Menschen, ihr Leben selbst in die Hand zu nehmen und zu leben. Ihr Ding zu machen! Widme dich den Dingen, die dich mit Freude erfüllen… Weiterlesen „Montags-Motivation: Warum es so wichtig ist, dein eigenes Ding zu machen!“
It’s loud out there. Do you agree on that? People in Europe are busy like those hard-working bees in a beehive. Did you ever went to a public train station in Germany in a bigger township? It’s full and busy there in the morning. People run to catch their train or their subway railway… many of them are afraid to be not on time and catch their hands over their heads if the nice voice of the service person admits that the vehicle actually will be later as the timetable has promised.
A few month ago some eastern friends asked me why the life in Europe would be such complicated and stressful. And everytime I slow down, like know during the x-mas holidays I realize how full-pact our lives in Europe are and how many stress is constantly self-made by our own thoughts.
Okay we are spoiled with waterpipes who offer clean water access every time we want to have a shower or need to cook something…in eastern countries that not always a standard. We have great systems of electricity and things in general are really accessible if we need them.
But while some eastern people wonder about the fact that there is no electrical power outage in Europe many european people wonder about the amount of bills they find in their mail and how those prices of all necessary recources increase continuously day by day.
So it’s quite normal that people get stressed out about earning more money and running to the underground at 5 a.m. in order to be on time at the 9 to 5 job they do on a daily basis. It would be so beautiful to observe those people, if they would be happy with what they were doing.
Sadly that might be an idealistic picture which we hope to see. Did you ever went to a underground in a huge town on a monday? Did you ever recognize how sad, tired and demotivated are those folks out there? Do you need to watch a motiviational video before you can tackle your own tasks?
Lots of people maintain a certain attitude and hope to change their life to the good. But I promise you if you work somewhere but you don’t love what you do, then it is a waste of time. I often hear people say: Okay, but I don’t know what I should instead of that job, it gives me so much security. I don’t like to risk something. Later I will have regrets that I did quit my 9 to 5 job.
Nobody will tell you to quit that job. I will recommend to stay safe and secure until you fill good and safe with the thing you love to do…. Imagine you have that 8 hour job, which you don’t like at all, but you always go there because it feels save for you to get that constant salary at the beginning of every month. Thats okay. Don’t feel bad about it. But, and that is a huge but… every human on earth has 24 hours per day. So if you sleep 8 hours and work 8 hours, you already have 8 hours left which you can use to improve your life, YOUR LIFE… Even if you love sleeping and you usually sleep 10 hours on a daily basis you will still have a time period of 6 hours per day, which you can use to realize your dreams.
Before I started my wedding agengy after given birth to our first child I supported all of our businesses just from the backround. I really felt proud as I recognized that I don’t like to manage things from the back anymore.
My personal light was too bright for just sitting there behind the scenes and acting in a passive way waiting to see if others can do what I want them to do. I am a person who is active and being passive is not healthy for me.
As our daughter was born I realized how beautiful life can be if you do the things you love to do. For sure my job contains parts which I don’t like so much as other parts… but generally spoken I can admit: My own business is a strong pillar in my life…. it brings so much joy to my heart, while it challenges me to improve my personal skills and the service of my company day by day. It’s a great process with many options. It is like you swim in the ocean and you can see that you will be confronted with huge waves… but you love the process and the feeling of being challenged and the water which splashes right into your face. You will dive through the water and constantly grow with the obstacles you meet.
As I started my business I wrote blogposts and invested all my freetime in analysing the market and finding cooperations and so on. It was a slow process and at first I did not earn so much. I knew that my husband was observing my journey and that he often thought I am silly, because I spent so many hours in my „company baby“. But I was full of passion and did sometimes not realize how many hours I was in my home office to move forward and become successful.
If you do content-marketing, which I basically did, you will not see great results after a few days. But if you want to build a company which is sustainable and strong, you need to become an expert and offer best service and insider knowledge for your costumer. If they trust you, they will pay you for literally everything. That’s valuable marketing.
I love to compare content-marketing with the work of a farmer. If he seeds, it takes a couple of month until he can harvests fruits and veggies. And sowing is not enough, the plants need enough sunlight and water. If you build a business and start it from scratch then you really need to invest time and your heart into the whole process.
But trust me, if you do what you love to do, then you will never want to stop it, and it does not feel like working at all. It’s totally fulfilling, a game-changer for your life and will satisfy yourself in so many ways.
Probably you will not find me waiting for a train at 5 a.m. I am an early riser but I scheduled my day and my working routine as I want to. It’s in harmony with my body, mind and soul.
The reason while I smile if I enter my home office is that I really appreciate my work. I am the boss. If I mess something up I need to take the consequences for my mistakes. If I perform good and do my best and a little bit more I will get great results and amazing feedback from my costumers and they will recommend me to others.
They believe in me because they realize that I am working with all my heart. They feel it with every step I make and every word I speak. If somebody needs an advise I don’t feel shy to speak out the truth. What’s about you? Do you love what you do? Do you like to improve yourself and learn more?
The key to your happiness is to do the things you always wanted to. Traveling? Freetime? Being creative? Being unindependent? Driving a Porsche or Ferrari? Owning a house with a pool? Helping others? It does not matter what is your engine to get yourself motivated… if you have a clue of your dreams… then promise yourself for 2019 that you will work on them to realize them as soon as possible.
You can establish your own company or side business easily allthough you do that 9 to 5 job. You just need to reconnect with yourself. What is that thing I am burning for? Which things I am interested in? What is my hobby? As a child, before everybody told me what I should do…what did I really wanted to be or do? Do I want to change the world? Help others? Create things? Entertaining people? Writing? Inventing? Exploring? Ask yourself questions, like nobody every asked you before. Write your answers down and put all those little pieces of your puzzle together. I am sure you will be busy for a while if you reconnect with yourself. Deep inside you know what you would love to do. And if you finally find the key to your own heart, then it will feel secure. It will not be a risk at all.
You will be quiet, and confident and just go for it, because you follow your heart, literally. You will be honest to yourself and honest with all your fears. And you will be 100% authentic afterwards.
There will be no doubts and no execuses anymore. And after a while there will be popping up ideas, and you will be inspired by banal things and people. Perhaps you will see somebody in the train to your 9 to 5 job and that person will inspire you to accomplish something amazing belonging your dream. Hopefully….
I know I was quiet for a while. And my blogfollowers really were patient to let me publish again. I did not feel like writing at all. I also took a break of Instagram and social media, because I had too much input that I felt pretty overwhelmed. I am looking forward for 2019, and I really love to write blogarticles which inspire others and motivate my readers to optimize their lifes and relationships, so they will be happy and lucky with their journey. Our lifes are too short to just run in a hamsterwheel which does not bring any joy or change to the good. Be you, absolutly yourself. 2019 is your year, you can open new doors and find new paths, if you trust yourself and believe in yourself.
I personally do believe in you. And you should also believe in yourself and trust in your skills and talents, no matter what they are. You can also educate yourself in many ways and find out what you are burning for. You should really invest in yourself and trust in your heart. I am looking forward to 2019. As an optimist I totally trust the journey and take care that I am well prepared for every challenge!
Thank you for reading this blogarticle. If you following me, thank you. If not, consider to follow my blog in order to not miss a post of mine in the future.
In the past I met lots of people who really strived to be perfect or were busy with pretending a perfect life. Both of these activities are totally against yourself. But let me tell you why. If you try to be perfect, then you will put your „goals“ and „values“ so high, that you barely can achieve those.
People who want to be perfect, don’t focus at one talent they have. They want to have it all: A clean home, a great career, a good relationship with their wife, a spectular connection to their kids and good friends as well as vacations, voluntary stuff going on beside this, bring healthy and in shape… the list will never end.
That kind of path is very stony. The problem is: You put huge stones in front of yourself which hinder you from being grateful and enjoy the moment, because you always want to have it perfectly and it is not that perfect at every minute of your life. So you will not feel happy at all, because you will just try to do it perfectly and thereby realize that it isn’t.
The other activity to pretend that your personal world is perfect, is a very bad emotional state too. Why? Because you pretend that your life is great, while in reality you could need some help. But you don’t admit because you want to show that you are great and that your are strong.
Perhaps you already know that I am married and my spouse was born in northern iraq. In the kurdish culture as well as in all the other oriental cultures, superficial perception of others get a lot of attention.
Many of my clients are orientals, it does not matter if you were born in turkey, afghanistan, iran or syria… I understand your kind of thinking and feeling, because I feel very familar with the oriental mind. As I finished school we had that book where other pupils will write about you. One person commented that I am an oriental soul in a german body. I laughed at it. But I assume that I can build a bridge between orient and the western world because of my character and my experiences with foreign people.
Most people try to show their best side, and thats good. But often people put too much pressure on their own shoulders because they are afraid about the other persons opinion. As a child an oriental girl as well as a boy will be told: Don’t do this or that, because people would think bad about you/us. Family comes first. And you are representing the honour of that family with every step you make or don’t.
A clean home means- I am a good person. Preparing lots of good food- is an unspoken rule. Your clothes, your style, your manners everything will be recognized and can lead others to speak about you. Allthough oriental people are the most charming and loving people I ever met, they really need to be connected with their inner voice again. Because the voices of all other people around them will be so loud and be overrated, because they were used to grow unselfish.
For sure everybody wants to be representing the best of himself. But if you do things because you are afraid of being judged by others, then its against yourself. If you clean your messy home, because to feel comfortable and to make your home a heaven, that is different. Its for you and your comfort. If your home is filled with good vibes, a visitor will feel happy and welcome there too. If you clean because of others– you will hate the task and you will hate the other person, before that crosses the doorstep. ;O)
Over the years I developed lots of organizing skills, but until today there are times where my house is a mess, especially if my mind is too full and I cannot get everything finished as I want it to. Oriental visitors can appear very spontaniously. Knock-knock! There is a kurdish speech with says:
vistors are like rain, they come suddenly!
Of course I adapted a lots of trained attitutes all over the years in that binational relationship with a big family. Spinning all these plates around is a masterpiece: Cooking spontaneously for 20 people, cleaning the house, taking care of our children beside this, then entertaining the visitors and bring those people to malls or special places…and just keeping on going the business beside this, the laundry, my sports exercises, and all these other things which might happen…
And I always was seeking to be full of perfection. And… surprisengly as I changed my mindset about perfection– I really increased my success and the level of happiness after given up my old dogmas. People will meet my real me not a person who pretends to be friendly and kind but is totally overwhelmed.
I really had both activities inside me… seeking for perfection and pretending to be perfect, which is now a NOGO for me anymore. If people want to speak about me, I will not have the ability to stop them. But what I can hinder is that their backbiting will hit me anymore. If somebody loves me, then because of ME, not because of my house, my tasty food or any other superficial thing in the world. If somebody does not like me, I prefer that person to avoid me.
While in the past I always wanted me to fit with everybody, today I am aware about the fact that I am polarizing and it is an advantage, really.
I can promise you that if you try to be perfect you will miss the whole life and the deeper impressions it delivers to you. Being perfect is an unreachable goal, because nobody is perfect. We strive to be perfect, but we aren’t, we will never be. And that reminds me of the picture of a donkey who has that carrot in front of his head:
And the donkey is running and running and trying to reach that carrot in order to eat it, but he will stay hungry because his owner putted the carrot in front him in order to let that donkey run and transport stuff.
Time is the most expensive thing we have.
If you spend all your time in being perfect, you will just always see the carrot but not eating it.
Why do I write about this? Because imperfection leads to success! Its not about to be the best at your first step. Its about to have the courage to go and be totally you, uncensored and authentic. The world is full of pretenders & wannabes. They are not perfect at all.
If I would give the perfection more power then my creativity and my heart, then I would not publish any content nor do my job as wedding visionary as good as I do know.
You can easily get lost in the details. If you strive to perfection you will not perform as good as if you go out, do your thing and then wing it. Perhaps you wonder about my mindset. My own experience can teach you that people who get creative and smart in situations where others would quit, need to let go all these superficial perfection.
One costumer asks me why I am so steady, allthough her case is not confirmed right now. She was so uncertain and really got overwhelmed, that she always asked me for an advise. That does not sound perfect. But there are cases where it needs more time to check the papers. Actually italy passports or residence cards need to be controlled by the danish police office, before a wedding office can give the permission for a marriage. That is why some people tried in the past to marry with faked documents.
I told her: We are sitting on a boat. And while we are sailing with our ship on the ocean suddenly a storm appears. So you got stressed out and are concerned about the outcome… should I get stressed out too? Or would it feel the best for you if I am steady and secure and telling you that there is appearing the sun on the left and the storm will leave us again? She was happy about my speech, because she felt sure that we are on the same boat, that means I am fighting for her and her future husband to get that wedding appointment arranged no matter how complicated that case is. And my optimistic view helped her to stay patient until the great news could be finally delivered by me: successful wedding appointment arranged!
Consider about your perfection. About your path. Think about your talents. I hope that I could inspire you today to be motivated to let go that perfection and live the life to the fullest and realize your future by trying things out and developing yourself step by step.
If you like my content, it would made my day, if you give me a like for this blogpost. And if you assume another person could help that post, please share it with that person too. Start doing things which are meaningful for you. Stop trying to be perfect. It’s better to be yourself.
In times of social media and unlimited access to viral knowledge it is very important to be aware about yourself. In the last weeks I recognized some people who I follow on Instagram (@nidellinger is my account if you want to check it out) who have taken a social media fast. The results of their fast were pretty the same.
Kimmy from @sheisinherapron shared her thoughts about her social media pause in her latest YouTube Video. If you don’t know her, she is living in the United States and a proud mom which shares her cleaning routine, home decor ideas, life as a mom and wife on her YouTube channel. She did speak about the fact that she did find out about her addiction to her phone while the fast.
She realized quickly that her smartphone was like something which gives her a kind of value by scrolling down the social media feed. She was a little bit shocked about her behavior, because she checked her phone too many times a day, especially her Instagram account. That is why she felt for example bored, sad or angry. It was like an escape from the reality of her daily life ;O).
While the social media timeout she detected that her hand just was searching for her phone in order to scroll and she wanted to stop that addicted behavior immediately.
The social media time out let her feel how often she checked herself out, her body was there but her mind not present for those she loves. She recognized that her kids did not got the attention she wanted them to offer.
Furthermore she found out that although Pinterest was a great inspiration for her so far, she was even more creative while she explored her own ideas during the social media time-out instead of just copying things and ideas of others.
Actually she found time for things she wanted to do since a long time before. Scrolling through your phone can take five minutes here, 10 minutes there and if you count the amount of time you are online— you will realize you were just busy with your phone!
By staying away from social media she stopped comparing her work to other mompreneurs and realized that her own way feels good. It made her stronger in many different areas. And grateful about what she already achieved and what is gifted to her in her life.
Kimmy’s story inspired me to write this blogpost, because she became aware of herself and her faults. And awareness is so important.
How often do you get distracted by scrolling down on your smartphone?
And did you know that it is really impolite to speak with somebody while taking your visual attention on your phone?
I love the sentence of Simon Sinek:
„When someone asks for your time and you took your phone away to speak to that person, that is real leadership!“
As a mom I am a certain kind of leader too. I take care of my own tribe ;O). And as a entrepreneur there are situations were I have certain deadlines or important tasks to do. It is very easy to get connected with my smartphone. I could allow our kids to watch lots of cartoons instead of playing with them. Then I could properly get more work done.
But it does not feel good, to be busy all day long with a smartphone for me. It feels bad if you think of the consequences of to much social media consume and using smartphones for many hours.
That is not build by social media consume, nor by tv or any other distraction which just seems to be the easiest way as a parent in our society. I was shocked about moms who give ipads to their children in order to fall asleep instead of reading a good-night-story and offering a hug to them. I still cannot understand why mothers hand out smartphones to toddlers in order to get them busy with that technology. And I will never understand moms who prefer to put their children in front of the tv or an ipad to eat their meals instead of sitting together as a family at one table and connect with each other.
Be aware about who you want to be, be aware about your surrounding, about those people who influence you and pay attention to your spouse in a proper way. Awareness is the key to upgrade yourself properly!
Strong relationships are build by awareness:
Be aware of yourself.
How would you like to be?
Which value do you want to bring in this world?
How can you realize your „vision“?
Update yourself by visualizing how you want to be seen by others: What should people say about you, if you leave a room? What do you want to be famous for?
A stay-at-home-mom can inspire lots of others moms by her behaviour. It does not depend on your job, who you are. It is the deep inside. Your heart will connect with other people. Being aware of your skills, talents and your passion is very powerful. Once you learned to be aware about who you want to be, it is easier to focus on certain goals.
Today I like you to motivate to take a seat for 5-10 minutes and brainstorm about yourself:
You can redesign you ego by awareness! YOU CAN CHANGE TO THE GOOD, if you focus and lead yourself to the point you want to see yourself!
Today I really like to motivate you to get ready and clean up. If you already are a nead freak, then congratulations to you! But usually even organized persons can feel quite overwhelmed, if they are too busy or emotional not on top! Sometimes it’s just a flu which hinders you from cleaning up a mess… and then suddenly you don’t know how to create a clean space quickly, because it went totally out of control! Learn how to tackle the mess…
Weiterlesen „Motivational Monday: 5 Hacks To Speed-Clean Your Work Space“
von Anders Noren.