Emotions are very powerful. If you feel excellent and positive it is quite easy to establish something belonging your business and become more successful: You meet people, interact, cooperate, feel valued and can achieve magical improvement.

But what about these other emotions, which suddenly occur? The most powerful negative emotion is anxiety. Why? Because anxiety is like the hand-break of your car. It will stop the process of going forward immediately.

Anxiety is full of self-protection. Actually many people have to deal with anxiety. Therefore I thought it might be helpful to write about it and how you can deal with anxiety, in order to grew bigger. 

Anxiety is stronger then fear. Its similar to a depression state. You feel that everything is to much for you, that you can not handle all these things which are one your plate. Perhaps you feel totally out of control and you are afraid about the consequences of your decisions.

Actually many famous persons have to deal with anxiety. They are in public and all lights are turned on them. And some of them really feel under a big pressure if they take center stage.

It really depends on your daily mood how you react to other people and how you can handle anxiety issues. In my opinion awareness is very important if you have to deal with anxiety.

Although I am a person which loves to take risks and can be adventurous , I had a lot of anxious moments in my life so far. In the past I was always working from the backround. I was that kind of person who helped others to build an empire and I had always somebody in front of me who represended that business we were dealing with.

Mostly my husband was the frontman, while I organized and planned all issues from the backround. Sometimes I would be at the front too, but the maintime I would be invisible for the public.

With the start of my wedding agency I changed my position from the back to the front and at first I really had those moments where I felt insecure to be so transparent and visible in public.

I am quite extroverted but I was anxious about personal reactions of a few people and their thoughts about my changes. By dealing with that anxiety I had realized very soon that old dogmas were hindering me from growing bigger.

At that point I am very thankful for the input of Gary Vee who asked following question: Do you really want to hide your skills because you are afraid of somebody judging you? With the awareness of the fact that people will always speak good and bad about you no matter what you do, you can really change your mindset.

I did. You should. It is not important what other people think about you. The most important person in your life should be yourself. It is necessary that you are happy about yourself and that you live in accord with your skills, beliefs and values.

Perhaps you feel already what I want to communicate to you. That’s good. I want you to realize that if you grow bigger you cannot hide yourself anymore. Obviously your life will change if you become more and more successful and hopefully to the good. Are you ready for a change?

Basically you should always be aware of your emotional state. Personal development is the key to your success. If you are not ready to come out of your shell, you are not ready for success either.

I like you to read my small story, about an artist:

Imagine a great song-writer who is creating music in the basement of his house. He is sitting there and has that technical equipment. He is forming songs with all his pleasure. Finally a song comes into being. Then he has more ideas and writes more songs. After the production of a couple of songs a whole album is created by him. Did you ever met a songwriter?

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The best songwriters are very creative beings and they have a huge range auf impressions of their surroundings. Like a writer does, or any other person who’s work persists of creation.

Surprisingly many songwriters are very shy. This great song-writer I am describing to you, puts all his heart into a certain song. And for him it might feel like being naked if other people read or hear the lines of his created song. That is why he brought his inside to the outside by creating that song, and that is very personal. The reaction of others towards his music arrangement challenge him before releasing his output.

And now imagine that this shy songwriter is also a great musician and he is also part of a band.

Perhaps you already guess, what will come next?

He has to deal with the public in order to sell the music he has created. He has to be in front of the camera. He has to answer questions about his band. He will be interviewed by journalists who don’t care about his anxiety and ask a lot of personal questions in order to get a personal statement for the viewers.

He has to go on tour and perform in front of strangers who might feel connected with him. He will be hugged by groupies and he will not find the time for reflecting at all because his timeline is so busy. In order to earn enough money the record label schedules so many gigs that he will be constantly traveling around the world. Of course he will be nice to others and act politely. As a shy person he has to come out of his comfort zone and people will cross his personal border all the time.

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So just take a look back of the creative process: sitting in the basement, aware of himself and putting his inside to the outside in order to write a good song. Being alone, emotional solid and calm.

And then actually: Touring around, being with lots of different persons, standing in the focus of public, going in the front-line. Feeling quite overwhelmed

Who will ask him about his inner state? How really cares about his anxiety?

Its to much pressure on his shoulders and perhaps he is drinking some alcohol here and there in order to not feel afraid, concerned, weak or shy anymore. But if he does not deal with that anxiety he will soon be addicted to alcohol and then his problems will just be bigger then before. He cannot ignore his senses forever, if he want to grew bigger he needs to handle his emotions in order to stay healthy.

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I would recommend that he asks himself  a bunch of questions. He needs answers for himself. For sure his busy brain needs nutrition. Answers to all these questions which are cruising around in his head will hopefully decrease the anxious-level he is already dealing with.

It is very important to be aware of what is going on around you if you are successful. But the fundamental need is to be aware of what is going on inside yourself at first.

If the songwriter feels not enough confident in front of others, he should work on building more confidence. If the songwriter feels anxious about the fact to perform in front of people, he can learn to deal with that too. Awareness is very relevent if you want to get along with your anxiety.

How can you deal with anxiety in order to grow bigger and be happier on a daily basis?

  • be aware of the issues which makes you feel anxious
  • be aware of the fact that your inside needs to grow as well if you grow bigger at the outside. You need to work on your personality. Strong dogmas can stop you from going further. Deal with your past, enjoy the moment, and visualize how you want to be in the future.
  • imagine a powerful place where you can escape from all the impressions you have to deal with. You can imagine a place without going there physically. Like a pit stop where you can refill yourself with positive thoughts. Just imagine to go to this place by fantasy in order to recharge your emotional body, which is a huge part of your performance. Most time our emotions decide about our course of the day: If you are optimistic and positive nothing can bother you at all, if your mindset is negative and pessimistic it is really tough for you to stay secure, firm and safe at all.
  • ask yourself a bunch of questions how you could improve your inner state if you feel anxious about something.
  • some people work with an anchor (thats a NLP tool). You imagine someting positive (like a song which you like, a colour, a smell or something else which makes you feel happy) The anchor helps you to stay stabile and calm allthough you feel anxiously. Because of the anchor (you imagine helps you to change your mind, body and soul at a insecure moment. That is why you will function in a certain situation allthough you before felt suddenly overwhelmed. Afterwards you can reflect and handle those emotional issues.
  • it is totally okay to feel anxious. Don’t blame yourself because you are worrying or more concerned then other people do. Most people dont reflect on a daily basis, they are not aware of themselves nor of their surroundings. By being aware you are very special and also bring a higher value to others.
  • In fact you can learn to deal with overthinking. Writing things down can bring a huge impact to your inner state. Being clear about your thoughts and emotions is the key to find solutions for every little aches and pains you are dealing with. If you journal on a daily basis, your mind has the possibility to express and you might be impressed by all these insights of your soul.
  • Exercising. Sports can help to deal with anxiety. You will free your mind and you stress will be released. For example: An anxious musician could try to move on the stage and get his metabolism stimulated in order to feel happier because of the distribution of  the hormon dopamine

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I can totally agree on the fact that our lifes are full up and downs. I have days while I am very happy and productive and just love to express myself. Other days I put everything in question and challenge a lot with my own emotions. I really can approve that anxiety can take a huge part of your life and that it can stop you from dealing with the important issues you should focus on.

Sometimes one strong thought can hinder me from doing someting fabulous because I am afraid of the negative consequences which might happen afterwards. But to concentrate of side effects and pressure of the outside is counterproductive. If you focus on your goal and how to achieve that you will overthink a lot of strategies. You will learn to deal with issues which make you feel uncertain.

But if you just pay attention to the “bad things which might happen”, you give those bad things to much of your energy and then suddenly you will feel depressed and anxious.

So I personally always try to focus on that “anxiety” and ask myself if I am just overthinking or if my “so called consequences” are just pipe dreams, which want to keep me from being smarter and more successful.

Hopefully you like the comparison with the musician. I thought that you perhaps feel similar about certain projects you create by yourself or want to bring to the public.

Shooting a youtube Video was one of my personal anxious moments. I really was terrified at first and felt totally unsure about it. But after doing it a couple of times, it became easier and I am really grateful. The videos brought a huge impact to my business.

I offered a certain knowhow to people. By presenting myself in the public I revealed a lot of myself. My costumers are thankful for that, because after watching my videos they felt confident and contacted me because they felt connected with me. By publishing my videos I sorted a bunch of clients out. Now my couples are really lovely and on the same wavelength with me.

For me its also easier to deal with my costumers, because if they consumed my videocontent they are already well informed and I don’t need to answer so many questions on phone over and over again as I did in the past. Time is a big issue.  Nontheless I was really anxious and honestly until now I don’t feel confident at all if a camera turns on. Hopefully I will work on that, in order to offer great content to couples who need my help and advices. I challenge myself and force myself to do more videos. Why? Because you need to practice things you are unsure about. No expert was born as an expert.

Do you ever felt anxious as I did? Which thing made you feel like this? And how did you deal with it?

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I am a wedding visionary and a happy marriage expert. If you want me to realize your wedding dream in denmark or want to contact me, write me an email: agentur.herzensfreude@yahoo.de