Todays blogpost is hopefully the right topic for those persons who might tend to overthink their daily performance in life. In a society which is so fast moving and pretty overstimulating, some of us never have learned the difference between feeling & thinking. Others lost their ability of feeling deeply, because they got hurt in the past or were told to be strong and act less emotionally in order to fit into a specific group or pattern.
This wednesday post will hopefully help you to reconnect with the essence of yourself: your feelings! It’s about defining your own emotional skills. Its to prepare yourself for being confronted with others who are unable to find a connection to their inner state, because they only focus on the outside/others instead of their own inner state/ voice.
As a child you truly believe, that what you feel and think is right until adults correct your behaviour, questionare your pronounced believes and tell you to adapt your performance in harmony according to your surroundings. If you not rearrange yourself, you will be hurt, avoided or punished until you fit into the social backround you are growing up with.
The sad truth is that many humans are not proud of themselves neither as children nor as they become adults, because their self-confidence is low. That is why the voice of the surrounded adults became their inner voice. I was told once by a person that he could not define his inner voice because there were many different voices inside himself which told him to do different things, which really made him overthink literally everything. But every person has one voice… it can be a quiet one, which your might overhear. That is why the judgement and speech of others were integrated into your system over the time.
The voices and opinions of other people will still lead grown-ups through their lifes, until they get coached to get rid of those dogmas, which permanently forced them to be unlucky and feeling low. Some people will never make peace with their past. They are afraid of their future and neglect any kind of change. Sadly many people in our society are afraid of a change. They just are afraid of bad consequences instead of realizing opportunities in a change.
Don’t be afraid of changing! Stagnation is the word which should made people afraid, not change.
Get rid of your Dogmas which hinder you from being yourself and you will immediately improve your daily performance, your inner state and switch you whole life to the good. You will feel free, open-minded and ready to inspire others magically.
As a child perhaps you thought you will just be loved if you offer value to others or achieve something great. Somehow you might been striving to do your best in order to be loved by your family members, teachers ,mentors, friends and neighbours. In most cases the reason why adults cannot love their children just for their being themselves is that their own parents did not offer pure love without expectations towards them too.
Its a behaviour which is given to the next generation like a tradition until somebody destroys the cursed pattern: Loving somebody without expectations is very powerful. If you love somebody without expecting to change or to offer something then its a very special bond you have created between another human and yourself.
Being loved without expectations is glorious, really magical. Once you feel loved because just being yourself and totally authentic “you” from head to toe you will never call love with expectations a form of true love again.
If you tell a child: “I am proud of you, I love you, I am sure you deserve everything you wish to achieve, I support you, If you belief in yourself, you are able to…”
Look how powerful that is. Mindset is everything. If you act like a chearleader in front of a person, you give that person the ability to push himself/herself to do the best and be that person he/she wants to be.
On the opposite, if you tell a child: Don’t do this. I will be proud of you, if you…, If you get that done, you can wish to…, I will do something for you, if you get that done, Look how x or y do it, they are able to, so you should be able too…
The last speech is less motivating, and is sitting like a burden on the soul of the child. Those kind of children often are not able to be successful, because they are always comparing themselves to others, instead of doing it in their own way. That stops them from being smart and unique.
They think they need to achieve something in order to be rewarded, to be loved, to be respected. If they will not achieve it, they will be destroyed by their own thoughts as well as the disappointment of the parents. Their inner voice becomes powerful but in a negative way. The inner voice will judge a lot, already before anybody around could open up his mouth and say something. That is because it’s not their own voice…it’s a voice of another person integrated in their mind.
The reality is that you need to embrace your inner child. You need to give that powerful person inside yourself space. Children are pure, honest, loving, forgiving, proud, brave and high-emotionally driven. If you find a connection to your inner child, means your own authentic inner voice without the judgement of others, then you can feel deeply and live in peace with your soul.
Feeling is different to thinking. While you think you come up with an idea logically and you need to get a feedback of that thought in order to know if it’s a good idea or not. You ask yourself about the pros and cons and you decide to start that project or not.
If you feel it, it’s inside yourself deep in your heart. You perhaps are not aware about the potential which is stored inside yourself. Feeling that something is waiting to be accomplished is an intense path. It’s in your gut you know instinctively if something works for you or not. If an idea arises and it’s driven by your heart you will be able to easily realize it. Why? Because it fits to your emotional state. Feeling that a certain project is good for you will make you strong. You will easily accomplish your goal because your heart is intensively involved in the whole process.
On the contrary if something is not good for you, you will feel like standing in front of a closed door. There is a barrier. It feels heavy and negative.
Everything which is in harmony with yourself feels ready to establish and like there are many open doors with lots of opportunities.
A child does just jump inside a puddle. It’s smelling the rain and enjoying it. It does not question the process. Just totally enjoying the journey.
If you are using your feelings for realizing projects you will wonder afterwards why you never before listened to your heart. Just do those things which are in harmony with yourself, your own values and statements. Don’t sell your soul to others! It’s your life. You need to realize that there will always other people who judge your appearance, performance or success. People find it easier to judge others instead of mopping their own floors with their own dirt! If you don’t care anymore about others people opinions and headaches you will live in peace with yourself.
Do you tend to overthink? I am curious about your insights. If you feel comfortable leave a comment about your own opinion. If you like that kind of content, consider to subscribe to my blog. You will never miss a blogpost again…