Do you know those magical couples, where they just look into each other eyes and know what the significiant other needs? Obviously there are couples existing who really have that vibe together, short: They do their thing and it looks like it all just magically happens.
But I will tell you the truth. The magic needs effort, personal investment.
After the first time period of every lovecouple, while the butterflies are passing by and the daily routines make it more and more difficult to create that “magic”, many couples cannot exist anymore or cannot stay lucky at a certain point.
Perhaps it’s all about destiny, you might assume, but if you ever have heard of the principle of attraction you might know: Like tends to attract like. Positivity usually attracts positivity and negativity attracts usually negativity.
I like to tell you a story of one of my brides, who really was unpatient with their case. Let’s call her Sarah. I applied her and her boyfriends documents. Usually it takes two weeks until I will receive a approval letter means the permission for them to get married in denmark. Sometimes it just needs 5 days. Unfortunaly her caseworker dived a little deeper as usually and wanted to check the documents of the groom by the german authority (means passport control and checking the visa of the embassy which offered him to enter Europe), which had taken extra time.
Instead of hope and optimism, Sarah went pretty dark and messed it up. She contacted me many times and asked me, if I could call the danish authority who decides and ask about their case. I did it allready a few times without waiting her to tell me, because if cases takes longer time, I will ask about them by myself. But the caseworkers still not had a decision.
Sarah felt fallen apart and was afraid, that her boyfriend would leave the country again without getting married with her. They already had a couple of years been stucked in that long-distance relationship. Two different continents, constantly waiting for visa applications and holidays to see each other again. She was not able to handle that anymore. She wanted to live together with him, at one place, as a married & happy couple.
You might ask yourself: Why does she write about that? Yes, because I told her to not destroy my success quote with her negativity. Her negative thoughts were too intense for my personal taste.
I am okay with the fact that there are lots of people running around who are not calling themselves optimists. But hey, I am thinking positive and always putting positive energy in my clients and I am really convinced that this is the reason why I until now always had positive feedbacks through the danish authority, means a success quote of 100%.
There are cases which are difficult and sometimes additional information is asked belonging lovecouples but the results made my couples & me always pretty happy.
So what did I do? I asked the future bride to do me a favor. She should sit down a few minutes to calm down, just relax and not let getting the “brainstruggles” too smart over her heart. I told her to just try to see the world a little bit more positive. I knew she went to lots of problems in the past and it was unable to be positive and full of hope. I advised her to just imagine, how it would feel like, if I call her with great news that I received the permission for their marriage. She should imagine, that he would marry her boyfriend this week. I was aware about the visa, and that there were just a few days left and I really by myself was exited put did put a pokerface on, in order to give her hope and a kind of emotional confirmation that we can reach her goal.
Everything would change to the good, I stayed positive as I always do, because my hope is powerful and I am aware of it.
I insisted on the fact that “a positive mindset” would bring a positive answer to us. Several times I explained to her, that her negative thoughts were stopping the decisionsmakers to find a final positive conclusion. She might thought I was nuts, but if you know about the principle of attraction, you know that this psychological phenomenon is powerful. Being a little bit extraordinary is okay, right?
Do you want to know how the story ends? They got married. Finally. They said “YES!” to each other at the same week, as I told her to imagine. And she laughed abouth her doubts and her “struggles” and unpatience afterwards and apoligized that she did not believe in the power of positivity before. But afterwards that great result switched her mindset from dark black to pretty vanilla.
Okay let’s come back to the beginning. Those couples who are magical. What is their secret? They are focused on their power, their success, their progress, their comittment their magical vibe. People might get envious about them. They might speak about those couples who are obviously made for each other… the reason why they are happy and strong together is: They have a masterplan. They create their relationship a multiple of times over and over again. How?
If its getting boring in the relationship, they are aware of it and are seeking for exitement inside their relationship instead of searching for it outside. They are focussed and feel the other persons need. You might ask yourself: How can I become that magical and resilient in my personal relationship?
And perhaps you will find out easily:
- Observe– what does your spouse need
- Offer– if you know the person you love needs something, than offer it without expecting something back in return
- Be Grateful– for being with that person. Pay attention to the person you love.
- Be loyal: safe all his/her secrets and be loyal in every kind of way.
- Be honest: perhaps its comfortable to tell a lie her and there, but focus on being honest and trustworthy on the long run you will find happiness with your spouse
- Be exited: Your spouse is entering the room. Are you just saying “hello” and then looking back to your laptop/smartphone or standing up, giving a big hug and telling the person you love how great it is to see him/her again?
- Offer Respect: there is a unknown truth of being respectful. Allthough you are not the same opinion, you can offer the other person in front of you respect. You don’t need to have the same opinion, but you can respect each others views on a higher level
- Get spiritual: Whatever you might believe in, or whatever you have in common— it can help you to build up a strong bond. You both believe in God? great, you might feel connected on a deeper level through it, or you both love soccer or coffee? So you will have something to talk about– or enjoy together without any words needed.
- Be interested: Perhaps you love reading and your spouse is a person who enjoys movies more then a book. If you know he/she has a certain interest, it is pretty nice to show interest, allthough that topic might not be as exited as you might think by the first time. He/she would really feel more connected to you, if you show interest into his/her hobbies, obsessions and passions. And one the other side: Many books will have a movie debüt afterwards. Perhaps it might be interesting for you to read a book and then watch the movie based on that book as a couple?
- Do your thing: People often get lost in their relatonships. Thats a huge issue. If you just invest and forget yourself and expect that everything is coming back to you but the spouse does not act as you might expect, then you should realize: You forget yourself, you got lost. So find yourself again. What is your thing? What do you like to do? Its important to do the things you enjoy on a regular basis in order to feel happy again. Nobody expects from his/her spouse to change to 180 degree. Why did that person fell in love with you? Because you did your thing! So do what you enjoy the most in order to get back on track.
Every couple struggles sometimes. Believe me. In every relationship ups and downs are included. But your attitude is which can change a “relationship” to a “really magical, and successful, lucky partnership” on the long run.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. Do you know such kind of couples who look magical and have that certain vibe? Are you already building up such a strong bond? Love to read your personal insights about the whole issue… so if you like leave a comment now!