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Heiraten in Dänemark

Hochzeitsagentur Herzensfreude

Warum man niemals aufgeben sollte, wenn es schwer wird!

Ich habe mich in den letzten Tagen darüber amüsiert, dass einige Hochzeitsagenturen nach der Gesetzesänderung in Dänemark das Handtuch geworfen haben. Einige meiner Neukunden haben mir davon berichtet, dass Ihr Fall zuvor abgelehnt worden ist bzw. die jeweilige Agentur ihren Service eingestellt hat und Sie mich dann nunmehr fragen wollten, ob ich weiterhelfen könnte. Und ich nehme diese Fälle natürlich gerne an. Ich wundere mich immer wieder über die Halbwahrheiten, die im Netz herumschwirren und was die ein oder andere angeblich professionelle Person den Leuten für Geschichten erzählt.

Ich bemühe mich so authentisch wie möglich zu sein und den Paaren lieber knallhart die Wahrheit aufzutischen, als Ihnen irgendetwas zu versprechen, was ich nicht halten kann.

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Bist du eine Kämpfernatur? Dann hast du etwas mit mir gemeinsam. Ich finde es gerade spannend, wenn es schwieriger und undurchsichtiger wird, weil ich dann ganz viel um die Ecke denken darf und kreativ werde, um 1a Lösungen für meine Hochzeitspaare zu kreieren. Ihr glaubt gar nicht wie viel Potential in Veränderungen stecken. Jetzt sind alle etwas traurig und die meisten verstehen nur Bahnhof. Und die Standesbeamten wissen auch nicht genau, wie sie mit der Gesetzesänderung umgehen sollen, es ist alles neu und komisch. Aber genau dieses Neue bringt soviel Kraft mit sich, weil nur diejenigen das System durchschauen, die mit offenen Augen und Ohren durch das Leben rennen.

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Es ist komplexer und mehr Aufwand, aber nach wie vor können im Jahr 2019 Paare, diejenigen die sich lieben, in Dänemark heiraten. Und ich kann nur immer wieder betonen: Jedes Gesetz braucht seine Zeit, bis es in der Ausführung einigermaßen funktioniert. Ich bin jedenfalls weiterhin optimistisch und freue mich sowohl über einfache als auch komplizierte Fälle. Letztere sind mir besonders im letzten Jahr sehr ans Herz gewachsen, weil ich bisher alle gelöst habe und die 100% Erfolgsquote möchte ich zu gerne beibehalten.

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Wenn du ein Ziel hast und dieses um jeden Preis erreichen möchtest, dann gebe niemals auf. DU kannst mal traurig sein oder böse, aber du solltest dir darüber im Klaren sein, wie großartig du dich fühlen wirst, wenn du dein Ziel schlussendlich erreichst. Erfolgsmenschen lieben es, wenn sie ein Ziel erreichen, selbst wenn es nur ein Etappenziel ist. Wenn du Schritt für Schritt am Ball bleibst, dann werden sich deine Wünsche erfüllen. Wie sagt man so schön:

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„Steter Tropfen höhlt den Stein “ Wenn du nur ganz kleine Schritte machst, wirst du irgendwann dein Ziel erreichen

Wenn du jetzt aufgibst wirst du dich als Looser fühlen. Und wenn du ein Verlierer sein möchtest, dann ist der Beitrag auch nicht für dich gedacht. Wenn du aber ein Gewinner sein wirst, dann wird dich jeder Gegenwind motivieren, eine Extraportion zu geben, damit du schaffst, was du erreichen möchtest!

Das Leben birgt so viele Möglichkeiten für uns. Die meisten Menschen laufen allerdings nur mit geschlossenen Augen herum, wie beim blinde Kuhspiel, bestimmen alle anderen wo es lang geht und warm oder kalt ist und die blinde Kuh glaubt es einfach.

Solche Menschen kennen den 08/15 Weg, den alle gehen oder jemals gegangen sind. Es ist hilfreich, wenn dir jemand anderes einen Weg aufzeigt, der auf den ersten Blick vielleicht völlig überraschend klingt, aber auf den zweiten Blick einleuchtet und dich zu deinem Ziel bugsiert:

Wenn du zum Beispiel noch nie über einen Berg gestiegen bist, und ein erfahrener Bergsteiger erzählt dir, dass der Bergaufstieg zwar anstrengend ist auf den ersten Blick aber du dafür mit der grandiosen Aussicht belohnt wirst….

Dass du dann auf der anderen Seite wieder herabsteigst, dir einen großen Umweg erspart hast und dein Ziel unverhofft früh erreichen konntest, weil du Eigeninitiative gezeigt hast, ist doch grandios!

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Ich wünsche mir, dass du alle deine Ziel weiterverfolgst und dass dich dieser Beitrag ein wenig motiviert, für die Dinge in deinem Leben zu kämpfen, die dir wichtig sind und dein Herz mit Freude erfüllen.

Es ist schade, dass so viele Menschen einfach immer nur funktionieren und auf ihr „Schicksal“ reagieren, anstatt selbst aktiv ihr Leben in die Hand zu nehmen und zu gestalten. Sei mutig und stolz über jede kleine Tat, die dich weiterbringt und vor allem eins: Wenn du optimistisch in die Welt blickst, dann kommt soviel positives zurück. Du wirst dich wundern, wie viele Wege es im Leben gibt und wie wertvoll es ist, wenn du auch mal über eine Hürde springst oder einen Stein wegräumst, der dir in den Weg gelegt worden ist…

Was bringt dir neue Kraft, wenn es einmal schwer wird? Hast du dein Ziel dann noch vor Augen? Oder siehst du dann nur die Probleme, die sich gerade auftun? Nutze die Kommentar-Funktion, wenn du etwas zu diesem Beitrag schreiben möchtest. Wenn dir der Beitrag gefällt, dann freue ich mich, wenn du mir ein Like gibst oder diesen Beitrag zur Motivation mit deinen Freunden und Bekannten teilst. Ich wünsche dir, dass du alles schaffst, wovon du träumst. Gerne kannst du meinen Blog abonnieren, indem du unten deine Email einträgst.

Das Zeichen wahrer Intelligenz ist nicht Wissen, sondern Fantasie. -Albert Einstein

Motivational Monday: Be careful! How to live with a spouse who is totally the opposite of you!

Let me tell you a story…about a girl who deeply felt in love with a man. She was young, curious and full of hope as she met the man of her life.

She thought it would last forever. Her love was tested through a lot of problems in their future. She loved planning while he found fun in being spontaneous. She loved to be alone and in a quiet place while he needed the crowd and lots of noises to feel comfy.

They really enjoyed each other but they were so different, that they struggled with the vision of their relationship more often.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a drama if man and woman are different, they usually are and that’s natural. It’s quite exiting to be the opposite of each other… you will not bore each other at all but you need a certain base which grounds you as a couple. Trust, loyalty and happiness need an interaction of both. A successful relationship is a challenge. Back to the story:

The girl became a mother and her husband was happy about having a family with her. He enjoyed his new position as a father while he felt somehow ignored by his wife, because she physically was closer to their child then to him for the first couples of month after her childbirth.

baby-20339_1920.jpgThe girl was pretty busy with her daughter who needed her full attention. She did not realize that her husband was longing for intention too.

She was tired, overwhelmed and the home became pretty messy. There were days when she could not do the dishes or had no power to do at least a 10 minutes clean up. She was running around without doing her hair or laying on make up and because her baby bump did not disappear as fast as she wanted she felt insecure and unattractive. She disremembered to be intimate with her husband.

Her husband was patient with her at this point. And he ignored that messy circumstance in their house for a while, until he discovered that the fridge became too stinky and the garbage bin was flowing over by dirty diapers. Because she always was just inside the house, she did not realize that bad smell.

Once he went home and their baby girl had spilled a few seconds ago all over her mothers outfit. She felt weak and tired. After saying „hallo my dear“ he started a conversation with her: „Hey what’s up?“, he asked her: „I called my brother Michael. He and his wife will come over tomorrow. They will visit us for lunch“ She did not say anything.

But it was like a straightforward hit right into her face. Michaels wife Bianca was that kind of „clean mom“, that stay at home mom which loves to clean until every corner in her entire house would be sparkling tidy. Bianca was a passionate cook with lots of delicious food ideas. Thinking of having her around made the girl feel weaker then she already felt before.  Biancas children were already grown up and she always had to offer the girl a lot of hacks and supportive comments, which were inappropriate sometimes.

The girl dreamed of being perfect but was procrastinating every single score in her house so far. She had five laundry baskets of clothes in the basement which needed a great fold. And thinking of all those other spots which needed to be cleaned up made her angry and sad all together.

In her house were lots of messy areas with little stuff which needed to be organized. She asked herself how she should clean her home until her visitors would arrive. All of the sudden she became tired of everything. She felt exhausted. But her husband did not realize that she needed just a few days to reconnect with herself. But how should he know? She did not tell him how she felt like. While she started cleaning he went to the gym to meet his friends.

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Of course she functioned and cleaned up the mess. Michael and Bianca came over and had a great time. The girl felt weird all the time. She did not enjoy the conversation with them. Actually she was not interested if their dog would create messes or did not poop properly every morning.

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She always wanted to improve the world and help others to become better, smarter and happier and now after being a mom she was literally exhausted by any kind of non-sense conversation. She was longing for an intellectual exchange while all those friends and family members of Michael dealt with her superficially.

Her own friends became rare after getting married to her husband. She was young and moved to another town. Being a stay at home mom was more difficult then being an employee.

Her husband did not realize that their actual life teared her apart. She felt lonely although she had contact with others and Michael gave his best to entertain her.Sometimes she had dark days where she just felt to be in the wrong world. Especially if she was overwhelmed by noises she just imagined to escape suddenly into her own world.

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While Michael switched on the news loudly or was watching a tv show or a movie she preferred to read books in a quiet corner of their house. She never had told him, that she can’t tolerate that huge sound. Instead of this she just had hidden herself to the backround.

Once a day Michael did not come home from work. He did not call her that he would come late or needed to work longer then usual.

A couple of weeks ago they had a serious conversation. He told her that she did not find joy at all with him and that he missed to be close to her. He described her as a shell, which would close suddenly by being touched.

And perhaps he was right. More then right. She did not feed her husbands needs. She thought it were just physically but she had closed her heart for his input at all. He really wanted to help her and to support her in order to rescue their relationship, which started full of passion many years ago and was just feeling more then strange right now.

I will not bother you… you need to know the end of the story. The end is surprisingly dark. Perhaps you assume that he felt in love with another woman, he did not. He was totally loyal toward his wife, allthough she forgot to satisfy him.

On this late afternoon she got a call from a police officer. Then a call from the hospital. Her husband was injured by having a heavy car crush. As she arrived at the hospital, he was already dead. They did found fresh flowers which he had bought for her and he had written something like this on the flowercard: for my shell… let me show you how great we fit together. I will always love you until I die“

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He died very quickly because his head was bad injured. The doctors could not rescue him. The girl became a widow within a few minutes. It was a nightmare on a sunny day. Today she had prepared a candle light dinner and had decided to give all her heart to him. She had bought new underwear and had given her daughter to the grandmother in order to care just for her husband. And then suddenly those dark news. She regretted that she did refuse to be close to him all those weeks and month before.

As she got the flowers by the policeman she felt like her heart was falling apart. She did realize how much her husband had meant to her and how bad she had ignored all his small lovely actions of the last couples of months to come close to her again. She had been stucked in her own phantasy, had hidden herself allthough it was not necessary to hide herself.

It is a sad story. I know. That is the reason why I wanted to share this story with you. It’s important to recognize the lessons we can learn through this story:

  • Don’t procrastinate to show your love although you are quite different
  • Never miss to fill the other persons love pocket
  • In a relationship you should try to think how the other person might feel like.
  • Come out of your comfort zone
  • Invest in your future be aware of the present
  • COMMUNICATE!
  • Having children changes a marriage. It’s important to be intimate again after having children. Couples who are not intimate can not stay tuned as those who are.
  • Don’t wait to show the other person how much he/she means to you. It could be your last day in life
  • No regrets. Try to life in the moment. Thinking too much of your past or just imagine how a better future can be can make you forget to be present for the person who needs your attention right now.
  • Sharing a life together means to be there for each other. If the girl would have asked for help or did try to tell her husband how she felt, he could probably help her to get out of her overwhelming situation/ aka depression state.
  • Being in a non-verbal relationship because one of the spouses refuses to be open-minded is a huge fault.
  • It’s better to say what you think no matter what will happen afterwards. If you just swallow your pain, fears and struggles down you are actually not in a relationship. You live with somebody but you don’t share your thoughts and feelings with that person. That is contra-productive and superficial.
  • Every relationship has its up-s and down-s. Spouses who are aware of each other flaws and characteristics are more likely happier and easily solve their problems.
  • Be aware of your inner state. Its so important to be aware about your own. If you are not in peace with yourself, you can never be with somebody else

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Don’t get me wrong. My husband and I for example are totally the opposite of each other:

Me: early riser-He night owl

Me: extraverted- he introverted

Me: I love planning – he loves to be spontanious

I could tell you even more differences, because we are totally the opposite of each other. But we have a certain base. We are grounded by our beliefs, and our values and our goals (allthough those are quite different too)- Goals set us boundaries as well as offer us a bunch of opportunities. Love can be very intensive and true, but you need to stay tuned and be authentic with the person you share your life with.

Hopefully that story helps you to awake, if you have falling asleep in your relationship. Its so important to be aware of your NOW and to be prepared for the future, however it might looks like. We cannot control everything, but we can try to lead ourselves to happiness and success. Be inspired and reflect so you will not regret your life.

You like that kind of content? Then give me a like. If you want to read more motivational stuff, relationship-hacks and positive thoughts in general then consider to subscribe to my blog. If you fill out down below your emailadress, you will not miss a blogpost of mine anymore. I wish you just the best and hope you will become more happier and positive in 2019.

Conquer the battle of feeling less important in a long-distance relationship

You are totally exhausted! You feel overwhelmed because your friends have their spouse close by while you are diving in the unknown ocean of a long-distance relationship.

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Date-nights, cuddling on the couch, the good night kiss and the sleepy view of the person you love in the morning…you are far away from all that things which are quiete usual for a relationship. You miss everything of those simple habits, because you are without your spouse. That’s your reality.

It can be a nightmare sometimes if you love somebody who is far away, perhaps lives in a different time-zone then yours. How great would it feel to beam that person right in front of you and give „the one“ a hug?

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People assume that they are strong and disciplined to wait…but every single cell of your body is longing for being close to that person you love and you don’t know if you can handle those feelings anymore.

There are voices in your head. You feel lonely sometimes although you know that there is a person feeling similar to you many miles far away. But there are days where you just freak out and imagine that there could be somebody else instead of yourself. That person who is not miles far away, a person who does not need the complexity of a long-distance relationship.

There are days where you might question your decision to have a long-distance relationship generally. It’s hard. It’s exhausting and you are missing your spouse so much that you are unable to concentrate at all. If you feel totally unimportant then you should be honest to yourself!

lonely-boy-2531764_1920.jpgReflecting can help you further:

  • Decide what you want to change!
  • Why do you feel less important?
  • Do you put more effort in that relationship then your spouse does?
  • Is your spouse aware about your doubts?
  • Can you imagine living together at one place?
  • Would you give up your home, work or comfort-zone to be close to that person?
  • Research about possibilities, work options for you in his country/town. Consider to run an online business. Would you be able to change your routines?

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Did I mention the option of getting married? No? No waiting for visa, holiday or plane tickets…just living together at one place.

Some people are not ready for a marriage yet and they want to discover if the spouse is the right one.

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Sorry- having a long-distance-relationship should be a temporary thing. Who really finds joy in this state of relationship? If the other person wants to be free and unindependent then be sure its not a real relationship its called an affair or an open-love-thing

I recommend that you should consider how much your spouse means to you. If you assume it’s „the one“ then ask that person about putting the relationship on a higher level and getting close to each other.

Perhaps your spouse is on board and is happy about your suggestion. If the other person does not want to have a real relationship with you without distance, then be sure it’s better to quit that issue right here right now. Don’t waste your time!

Being honest is important. Everybody gets older. You should never invest your time or give your heart to somebody who does not value your feelings and is in love with you too. Being close and having goals together is a huge part of a great relationship.

If you want to get married, I will be there to organize your civil wedding in Denmark for you easily. Just write me an email: agentur.herzensfreude@yahoo.de

Any thoughts? Feel free to comment

5 aktuelle Fakten zur Gesetzesänderung 2019 Heiraten in Dänemark

1. Alle sind total verwirrt!

Chaos pur! Das ist eigentlich immer so, wenn man sich mit Veränderungen auseinandersetzt, die einfach so diktiert werden. Die meisten, die mich im Jahr 2019 angerufen haben, waren sehr verunsichert, ob man jetzt noch in Dänemark heiraten kann und wenn ja wie kompliziert es tatsächlich ist.

Heiraten in Dänemark nach Gesetzänderung

Ich kann Euch wirklich beruhigen. Die Agentur Herzensfreude macht weiter und ich arbeite eng mit diversen Standesämtern zusammen auch mit der Staatsverwaltung, die nunmehr die Fälle prüft. Und wie das nun einmal mit neuen Beziehungen ist…man braucht eine Portion Geduld. Ich gehe den Tatsachen auf den Grund, knüpfe Kontakte und versuche Klarheit in das Ganze hineinzubringen. Denn glaubt mir, es ist wichtig einen kühlen Kopf zu behalten, wenn alle anderen am Rad drehen.

2. Das Prüfungsverfahren dauert länger!

Yep! So ist es. Und ich bin wirklich kein geduldiger Mensch, sorry ich wünschte ich wäre es. Ich arbeite daran, geduldiger zu werden. Während ich in 2018 in direkter Zusammenarbeit mit den Standesbeamten innerhalb von 1-2 Tagen eine Antwort hatte,  kann es 2019 locker 14 Tage dauern, dass die Dänische Staatsverwaltung einen eingereichten Fall prüft. Jetzt weiß ich, dass ich Wartezeittechnisch echt verwöhnt bin. Ich hoffe, dass ich wenn ich mehr Fälle einreiche und ein enges Verhältnis zu den Beamten entsteht, irgendwann auch schneller Feedback bekomme.

coffee-802057_1920.jpgEs ist einfach am Anfang wichtig, Geduld zu bewahren… da sitzen auch nur Menschen in der Special Unit, die ihren Job machen und dieses Verfahren ist auch für die Mitarbeiter neu…also gemütlich zurücklehnen und eine Tasse Tee oder Kaffee trinken. Wie war das noch mit Heiraten in Deutschland und dessen Wartezeit? 14 Tage sind im Vergleich dazu jawohl ein Klacks, oder wie siehst du das?

3. Alle Seiten der Pässe müssen eingescannt werden, auch die ohne einen Stempel!

Du denkst jetzt vielleicht… das ist ja Quatsch. Aber der Grund dafür ist simpel zu erklären: Die prüfende Behörde möchte nachvollziehen, wann genau ein- und ausgereist wurde und wohin, und sicherstellen, dass nicht evtl. ein Teil des Passes unterschlagen wird oder Seiten entfernt worden sind.

Pass prüfung

Bsp. Eine Dame aus Mexiko darf in den Schengenraum 90 Tage visafrei einreisen… angenommen sie hat das vor kurzem bereits getan, dann möchten die Beamten alles haargenau nachvollziehen können… es ist quasi wie eine Prüfung am Flughafenschalter: mit einem Komplett-Scan wird sich ein detaillierterer Überblick verschafft als früher mit der Foto-Daten-Seite alleine.

4. Die Prüfung ist teurer geworden!

Die Bearbeitungsgebühren für die Standesämter lagen 2018 bei umgerechnet ca. 120€. 2019 kostet die Prüfung der Dokumente durch die dänische Behörde ca. 220€! Meine Preise habe ich dementsprechend auch angepasst: eine Hochzeitsterminorganisation kostet jetzt 1000€ (inkl. Prüfungsgebühren und MwSt.).

wallet-1013789_1280.jpgKlar, das ist jetzt etwas mehr als früher, aber im Idealfall heiratest du einmal und investierst damit in eine glückliche Zukunft! Und wenn ich gut bezahlt werde, dann bleibe ich auch motiviert und kann den besten Service garantieren. Ich nehme an, das leuchtet dir ein!

5. Die schwarzen Schafe fallen raus!

Diese ganzen dubiosen Geschäftsleute, die in den letzten Jahren Scheinehen organisiert haben, fallen endlich weg! Schon alleine die Tatsache, dass die Paare seit 2019 eine Vollmacht unterschreiben, um die jeweilige Hochzeits-Agentur in Aktion zu bekommen…hat einige zwielichtige Gestalten dazu gebracht das Handtuch zu werfen.

get-me-out-1605906_1920.jpgVielleicht hörst du es zum ersten Mal: Denn es gibt viele, die einfach nur Möchte-gern-Agenturen waren und niemals ihren richtigen Namen preisgaben, geschweige denn in der Öffentlichkeit mit Foto zu sehen waren… dabei ist das Worldwideweb doch so groß und voller Möglichkeiten. Denn jede Agentur hat ihre eigenen Kunden! All diese „Zwischenvermittler“ müssen sich eine andere Beschäftigung suchen. Ich werde hingegen Liebespaaren weiterhin dabei helfen zu heiraten, auch an besonderen Orten.

Um dir ein besseres Bild von mir zu machen, besuche auch mal meinen YouTube-Kanal

Hast du noch Fragen? Dann nutze die Kommentarfunktion. Möchtest du heiraten? Mail mir einfach deine Hochzeitsanfrage an:  agentur.herzensfreude@yahoo.de

 

1000 grateful thoughts make us happier on the long run!

So we already crossed a half of January 2019 and I felt it’s time to thank all those people who made me feel important, helpful and lovable in 2018.

It was a year full of lectures for me. I got through tough moments like the last minute emergency surgery of my lovely husband. After that happened I changed a lot. It made me strong because I did fight for him as I always do if somebody needs my help and full attention. I realized how impossible it is to plan, because you need to stay flexible for all those unknown things that might happen to you and to those you love.

I obviously become more spontanious in 2018, planning is great really, don’t get me wrong. But in the past I got often pretty moody if the things did not run as smootly as my plans were.

Now I am more then flexible and open-minded for everything new which crosses my path. My husband was surprised a few time how spontaneous I finally can be.

If things, people and thoughts are helpful and improve our lifes, why we should refuse them just we did not plan about those? Stay in the flow, that is magical and productive too!

I did not stop working while that tough time although it was very hard to stay on top of all my responsibilities. I spent a lot of time at the hospital and I became more grateful for the little things.

The shock was still in me but I did function. I remained strong for all the others who were confused and needed my confirmation that he is on a good path and that I care about him as a wife should do.

Our children were strong too and caring towards their mom and dad. They had great ideas to improve the first weeks after coming home and they helped me as much as they could. I am more then blessed to be their mom…and I often forget that if they refuse to sleep or are too loud…;-)

People literally get stronger if they conquer struggles in their life. I learned a lot, especially to find joy in those little things and being grateful for what I already have or did achieve. Are you aware of all those achievements of your own?

If you always want to improve, to become better, faster, stronger… the best of the best… you are kind of just in the future not in the moment which matters most.

Actually I am pretty grateful for the great cooperations I have, the nice people I am working with, those people who are always there for me, especially my brother in-law. The whole family of my hubby has proven their greatness and love again towards that time.

As I had that huge task to tell every single person of them about the surgery, my heart was in my mouth. They suffered about those bad news. But telling the truth is neccessary in those cases. You never know how it ends up so hoping and praying in a group and staying strong together is better then pretending that everything is fine but it actually isn’t.

Thanks to God that he saved him, that the surgeon was so kind and professional towards me. I will never forget how caring that doctor was and his honesty towards me about the diagnosis and the high risk. The fact that he promised to call me after finishing his job and how much relief he brought to me and my father in law by giving me that great news that he could save my husbands life… I found out that nothing matters anymore.

Suddenly the time stands still at those moments. You find out who is close to you and cares about you.

I am grateful for every minute of that lecture. It made me stronger although it was a freaking hard time with lots of trouble and unexpected surprises. I don’t know why I write about that. Perhaps it’s too personal but hopefully you will discover too by reading my words that our life can come to an end very fast. And that’s better to be aware of that fact. Enjoy minutes, seconds which might be the greatest ever!

It is more then necessary to be honest, to be authentic and real. I don’t care about superficial people who try to impress others. I like real people who stand up for others, who really care because they think it matters. Those who discover what there are passionate about it and give 100% just because they love what they do not just 20% because of earning the money and finding somehow security in it.

I want to help people like the surgeon helped me. He did his job as best as he could in order to save my husbands life. He send me home with our children and promised me to call me immediately after finishing the surgery. His call made me cry and laugh all together. It was a moment of stress relief and hope. He saved him. Thanks to God.

The whole hospital stuff did an amazing job while the time of recovery. I am more then grateful. No words can describe how much their care meant to me.

If I help couples to get married I am pretty the same like that surgeon. I tell them the truth, I am aware about the facts, the risks the whole scene. And then I am in my game. I literally burn for it. I want to help them as much as they need my help. I do the unexpected. I care. And I am more then happy if I get an confirmation for the wedding appointment. More then the couple can ever be. Today is a special day. One of my difficult cases finally will become bride and groom.

I did more then the bride had ever expected me to do. Her happiness is my happiness. Helping her to get her dream come true was a stony road with lots of difficulties. But it was totally worthy. I am grateful for the learnings in 2018 and her kind words.

I am grateful for all the couples who trusted me to organize their wedding in 2018. Especially those beach-weddings and weddings at other special occasions were a great opportunity for me to realize dreams of heartpeople. Thanks for all that great feedback!

If you decide to get married in Denmark and you want me to organize the appointment for you, be sure that I will be emotionally there for you. I will help you to stay patient and trust in my work and in my cooperation partners. I am sure you will be grateful and happy at the end of the road too…

Feel free to comment or like this post. If you know somebody who should read that, share it please. You like to read more? I blog on a regular basis, subscribe and you will not miss any post again. What do you love me to write about next? Any wishes?

Motivational Monday: Figuring out that you can be happier with less

New year, new goals, new challenges, right? Perhaps you are already quite happy and don’t need that visualisation of that huge change to the good.

But although you might seem to be pretty happy by the first sight you might be struggling in a few parts of your life too, as I do and everybody does…

I had an awesome experience. At one of my last weekends I was searching in my home office and the whole house for an urgent document which I was quite sure about that I did copy it before sending it out via mail.

Honestly I had a bad time and really freaked out about myself on that moody saturday, because although I have systems I am still searching for things on a regulary basis, which I cannot enjoy at all.

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Paper clutter is one of the things I really hate and if you need to store so many papers belonging to different issues of your private life and professional life it’s more then worse.

So I am still optimizing here and there and searching for great systems and schedules to get over those paper piles which are constantly growing in our house as quickly as weeds does in the garden.

I decided to cross the administration building on monday and told the person who was responsible that I did not copy that file and would like to have a copy of it please. It was really easy. The woman at that office was so calm and more then kind to me. I wondered about my own phantasy which I had belonging that person on the weekend: I assumed that it would be more then embarrassing to admit that I did not copy that document nor stored it in a proper way.

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In my mind on that saturday I really was full of negativity… I was overthinking that I am too messy, that it’s a huge problem to not have that important paper ready to tackle a certain issue which I needed to care of.

I created a nightmare in my own brain because I thought of bad consequences which could propably happen to me. Furthermore the visualisation of how bad the office person would think about me was incredibly dark.

But after one workout in the evening and night with sleep I just spontaneously decided to change my mind. At that morning I had that aha-moment:

I did literally find out that I did waste my whole weekend time with searching for a piece of paper, which was just a copy. I got to that certain point as I asked myself if I just thought I would have copied that document or really did. It was so embarrassing! I really got mad about myself and did create a home of hell instead of enjoying the weekend with my family. I was running around like a chicken and was unpatient and careless because my attention was all about finding that piece of paper which seemed to me like the most important thing in the world, but I was not able to find it anywhere.

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Searching for things makes me more then aggressive. I completely assume: It’s a waste of time, really. How often do you miss something and search for it? How often do you questionare yourself where you did put something?

I am already well-structured and I really love organization and the idea of giving every item in the house a home. But I struggle with executing like I want to. Do you execute like you wish to?

If my mind is busy I will put things to places where they not belong to not paying attention to it and later on I will search for items and really get angry about myself. I am always amazed about the fact how easy rooms get messy, especially with kids who put things from here to there and bring their toys everywhere. I know now how my mum felt as she cleaned the floor and we just run around with a huge smile on our faces. Her housework skills were totally not valued as they had should be…and it is not because people expect us to be clean and tidy. But if our minds get messy and we feel bad and cannot tackle our scores… who can help us out?

Are we not deserving a magical hand which saves us from feeling gripped by that untidy monster, which just renews clutter and messes everywhere?

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Do you care about your feelings? Sometimes I over organize and later I think I did not put all those stuff properly away, although I already did. Does this sounds familiar to you? Did you ever put something to a great place but finally did not discover where that place might be? Serriously?

I decided that I want to try to live more minimalistic in 2019. It will help me to focus on the important issues in my private and professional life. I literally want to let go of things which just make me busy and messy.

People who live a minimalist lifestyle are less busy then those with lots of stuff. They can focus on the important things in their life. Did you ever started a hobby, bought stuff for it and did not really find the time or muse for it? Why you should not get rid of that stuff? Because you invested money in it? But those things are just reminding you about the fact that you could not find time for them. They will trigger you if you see them and remind you about the fact that they make you feel strange, because you don’t use them. Don’t hold on those things. Get rid of them and that feeling of not paying attention to them in a proper way.

Our minds are already crowded and if your surroundings get easily messy then you can not relax at all, because you are always busy with cleaning, organizing and still searching for things… which takes a huge amount of your time which you could spend with activities you really love to do.

It’s not of being perfect stiril-clean and the possibility to eat from the floor. But I really love to get rid of stuff, bad thoughts and self-created stress in 2019. It’s one of my goals for this year to feel in charge and happy.

I really want to downsize all our stuff. It is a huge challenge because I will do that beside my job, being a mom and lovely wife. But I am sure that it will feel great to just have those things around you which you really enjoy and use… instead of holding on emotional stuff and things you might use once a day but if that day occurs you will not be able to find it.

I love the input of clutterbug. She is a YouTuber which categorizes people into a certain type of clutterbug. There are butterflies, bees, crickets and ladybugs. You can try that test and find out which kind of organizing type you are… then you will realize your strengths and weaknesses and easily learn which kind of organizing system works best for you. It’s a gamechanger. Inspired to live with less and to declutter your space too? Hopefully you will get rid of lots of stuff as I do to free your mind and be more relaxed in 2019.

Perhaps this video will inspire you too. I like the videos of Matt D’Avella. Its more then worth to subscribe to his youtube channel. I really recommend to watch his videos:

What do you think about clutter? Do you to get rid of stuff and items which you not really love or use? I hope we all can free our minds and houses by decluttering and giving things to those people who need or use those we actually don’t.

 

Motivational Monday: 5 Hacks to become less moody

It is not easy for yourself nor for the people around you if you are very moody. We are often pretty fast with judging others and it’s easy to blame others for our bad mood. For example if those people who we love, do not offer those things to us which we expect them to do, then we can easily be depressed or become aggressive without even realizing that we are overreacting or freaking out. Being moody is a nightmare for yourself, because those up’s and down’s can really make yourself kind of crazy and feeling strange… and your family, friends and colluegues barely understand what is going on in your mind. How should they? Weiterlesen „Motivational Monday: 5 Hacks to become less moody“

Lerne wie du am besten mit Impulsen und Widerständen umgehen kannst!

Ich freue mich sehr darüber, dass meine Leserschaft kontinuierlich wächst. Da auch einige gerne meine deutschen Blogbeiträge lesen, werde ich heute mal wieder was in meiner Muttersprache schreiben. Es ist für mich eine Herausforderung auf Englisch zu schreiben, aber mittlerweile macht es mir sehr viel Spaß, denn ich habe das Gefühl, dass man im Englischen viele Dinge ganz einfach ausdrücken kann. Vieles klingt weltoffener und lockerer, weil der deutsche Sprachgebrauch zwar sehr vielfältig ist, aber natürlich auch nur diejenigen erreicht, die der deutschen Sprache mächtig sind, sprich Deutsche, Österreicher, Schweizer und jene Ausländer, die die deutsche Sprache beherrschen.

Als ich mich dazu entschieden habe, internationaler zu arbeiten, da war mir klar, dass ich mit vielen Menschen zu tun haben werden, deren Herkunft sehr unterschiedlich ist. Ich finde es wirklich spannend zu beobachten, wie Mult-Kulti funktioniert und wie andere binationale Paare glücklich miteinander sind.

In letzter Zeit ist meine innere Stimme immer stärker geworden. Ich habe mich sehr gezielt damit auseinander gesetzt. Es war eine bewusste Entscheidung, mich meiner inneren Kraft zu widmen. Meine innere Stimme hat mich noch nie enttäuscht, es war immer der Verstand, der mich dazu gebracht hat Fehler zu machen in meinem Leben. Meine inneren Impulse, die ich so habe, kommen intuitiv und sind große Gewinn-Bringer. Wenn ich hingegen Widerstand verspüre, dann kann ich schon mit 100% iger Garantie sagen, dass es schwer und kompliziert wird.

  • Hast du schon mal etwas gemacht oder getan, weil andere es von dir erwartet haben?
  • Hast du schon mal innerlich gespürt, dass du eigentlich etwas nicht befürworten kannst, es aber trotzdem durchziehen willst? (vielleicht aus finanziellen Gründen oder durch Druck von anderen?)
  • Hast du manchmal das Gefühl, dass es Menschen gibt, denen alles in den Schoss fällt, während andere einfach nur ein Problem nach dem anderen magisch anziehen?

Vor einiger Zeit hatte ich ein Gespräch mit meiner Mutter geführt. Sie hatte mit mir über einige Paare gesprochen. Ich hatte ihr erzählt, welche Art von Kunde ich super gern betreue und wo einfach alles TOP ist, Kommunikation, alles im FLOW, schnelle, reibungslose Organisation des Termins, alle sind glücklich. Und dann gibt es jene, die immer wieder alles hinterfragen, obwohl du es schon x mal erklärt hast–da hast du einfach das Gefühl in einer anderen Umlaufbahn zu kreisen, weil anscheinend die Information nicht ankommt oder derjenige so verunsichert und emotional mitgenommen ist, dass derjenige andauernd anruft, um noch mal nachzuhaken, zu kontrollieren oder neue Ängste hat, die ihn verunsichern.

Dann gibt es noch jene potentiellen Kunden, die einfach gar nicht deine Kunden sind. So eine Art von Blutsaugern, die einfach anrufen, um Infos von dir zu bekommen und deine kostbare Zeit und deine Helfer- und Fürsorge-Kraft für lau in Anspruch nehmen, obwohl Sie eigentlich gar nicht deine Kunden werden wollen. Sie möchten einfach mal mit dir sprechen, und versuchen es dann alleine oder sehen ein, dass du zu teuer bist und buchen eine Billig-Agentur. Nutzen aber liebend gerne deine kostenlose Beratung aus.

Meine Mama sprach von einer Ampel. ROT-GELB-GRÜN.

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Ich würde schon einen Impuls bekommen, wenn ich an den Hörer gehe (Rot = Blutsauger, Gelb = Problemfall, Grün = Traumkunde)

Ich habe erst darüber gelacht. Wie so oft, wenn meine Mutter mit Ihrem „Psycho-Gequatsche“ um die Ecke kommt. Sie ist halt Expertin auf diesem Gebiet und manchmal klingen Dinge halt etwas komisch auf den ersten Blick. Allerdings profitiere ich immer von jeglichem Input den ich von Ihren Psychologie-Know How bekomme. So auch diesmal:

Ja, ihr Bild von einer Ampel ist mir quasi ins Gehirn gebrannt: Jedes Mal wenn ich ein Kundengespräch geführt habe, kam mir wieder ihr Ampelsystem in den Sinn und ich realisierte nach einigen Telefonaten, dass es wirklich so ist und meine Mutter Recht behielt. Da habe ich dann nicht mehr über die Ampel gelacht, sondern der Tatsache in die Augen gesehen:

Wenn die Ampel auf Grün steht, dann hast du den inneren Impuls, dass alles harmonisch ist. Das Gespräch läuft flüssig, oft kurz und knapp und jeder weiß, was er will und man wird sich einig. Fühlt sich startklar an– so als könntest du mit dem Sportwagen voller Power lospreschen und gewinnen.

Bei einem Gespräch, dass unter gelben Licht steht, wird es schon etwas anstrengender. Es ist eine Herausforderung, weil dir Fragen gestellt werden, die noch lange nicht jeder stellt und es wird mitunter anstrengend, weil du zwar großes Potential siehst, aber immer so einen Widerstand spürst, dass da halt kein grünes Licht leuchtet. Solche Fälle benötigen viel Zeit, volle emotionale Präsenz und viel persönliche Betreuung und Gespräche. Die Kunden hinterlassen ihre Spuren und bringen dich an deine persönlichen Grenzen. Sie inspirieren dich, Dinge in deinem Leben und deinem Unternehmen zu verändern, damit es bei den nächsten Kunden besser und einfacher wird. Du musst Farbe bekennen und Grenzen ziehen. Sonst nimmt es dich zu sehr mit.

Und dann gibt es die roten Kunden, die irgendwie seltsam sind. Entweder zu forsch, zu unfreundlich, penetrant oder respektlos. Ich habe mir angewöhnt, diesen Menschen zu sagen, dass ich der falsche Ansprechpartner bin. Es gibt Menschen, die nur auf einen Aufenthalt in Deutschland aus sind. Diese Leute bekommen von mir eine kalte Abfuhr. Ich möchte nur Paaren helfen, die sich wirklich lieben, eine Ehe zu schließen. Wenn ich das Gefühl habe, da wird herum „gemaggelt“, dann wünsche ich denjenigen ein angenehmes Leben und sage Ihnen, dass ich nur Liebeshochzeiten arrangiere. Wenn du einen inneren Widerstand spürst, dann kannst du einfach direkt wissen, dass es nicht stimmig ist. Dann brauchst du auch nicht herum zu hirnen und die selbst etwas vormachen, dass es doch klappen könnte.

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Angenommen du möchtest gerne umziehen. Und du suchst dann so nach einer neuen Unterkunft und kontaktierst ein paar Eigentümer. Wenn alles ganz locker und flockig abläuft, dann klappt es meistens auch. Wenn du aber schon den Makler nicht erreichst, dann beim Besichtigungstermins in einen Stau gerätst und alles mehr als kompliziert und voller Widerstände verläuft, dann ist die Bleibe auch meistens überhaupt nicht für dich gedacht. Es ist so viel leichter, wenn wir im Leben unseren inneren Impulsen folgen, anstatt zu versuchen Dinge zu erzwingen, nur weil wir meinen, dass diese gut für uns sein könnten.

Oftmals ergeben sich ganz wunderbare Dinge daraus, dass wir mal loslassen und entspannen und dann auf unsere innere Stimme hören und den inneren Impulsen lauschen.

In der Ruhe liegt die Kraft -Konfuzius-

Dieses Zitat ist mehr als wahr. Wenn du immer nur im Macher-Modus bist… dich kümmerst, tust und beschäftigt bist, dann kannst du gar nicht deine innere Stimme wahrnehmen. Es ist viel zu laut im Außen, um zu spüren, welche Impulse du eigentlich verspürst. Es sei, denn du stehst schon in einer guten Verbindung mit deiner inneren Stimme, dann brüllt die ganz laut, dass es so nicht weiter gehen darf ;O).

Wie kannst du deine eigenen inneren Impulse und Widerstände besser spüren?

Stell dir einfach mal etwas ekliges vor. Etwas was du so gar nicht essen oder sehen magst. So ungefähr fühlt es sich in deiner Bauchregion an, wenn du einen Widerstand verspürst. Er schreckt dich ein wenig zurück. Ja, es widert dich irgendwie an. Und genauso ist es, wenn jemand etwas von dir verlangt, was du gar nicht bereit bist zu tun.

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Viele Menschen verkaufen ihre Seele und leben nicht nach den Werten, die Ihnen wichtig sind. Sie hintergehen sich im Grunde genommen aber selbst, nur um ein paar Euros mehr in der Tasche zu haben. Richtig wohl wird sich so jemand aber nie fühlen, denn derjenige missachtet seine eigenen Widerstände und wird dadurch aggressiv.

Wer allerdings auf einem starken Fundament steht und weiß, was er will und was nicht, kann ganz anders handeln. Du kannst spüren, was sich gut anfühlt und was nicht. Du kannst Ideen entwickeln, die mit deinen Werten zusammenpassen. Und es ist auch wichtig, einfach einmal NEIN zu sagen.

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Ich hatte eine Anfrage im Dezember letzten Jahres von einer Dame, die angab, dass sie Studentin sei und dass ihr Studenten-Visum auslief, weil Sie die Prüfung nicht geschafft hätte. Sie gab an, dass sie jetzt Ihren deutschen Freund heiraten möchte, damit sie bleiben könnte. Ich hab dann mal nachgehakt, weil das alles so seltsam für mich klang und ich innerlich Widerstand verspürte, obwohl mich natürlich das schnell verdiente Geld einer Expresshochzeit reizte. Sie sagte, dass sie beide ja schon mal gemeinsam shoppen gewesen wären und sie ihn sehr mögen würde. Als ich sie dann fragte, ob sie eigentlich wüsste, dass ich nur Liebeshochzeiten organisiere und niemandem helfe, der nur wegen einem Aufenthalt heiraten möchte, wurde sie sehr nervös. Wir verabschiedeten uns und sie meinte, sie würde es nochmal mit ihm besprechen und sich dann gegebenenfalls bei mir melden. Ihr könnt Euch ja vorstellen, dass ich diese Hochzeit nicht organisiert habe. Denn sie entsprach nicht meinen Werten und nicht meinen persönlichen Moralvorstellungen.

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Stehe zu deiner Einstellung, deiner Meinung. Höre auf die kleinen, winzigen Impulse, die dir deine innere Stimme gibt. Sei authentisch und du selbst. Du musst dich nicht verstellen. Menschen werden geliebt, weil sie Fehler haben und einzigartig sind, nicht weil sie wie Roboter funktionieren und keine Gefühle zeigen. Setze Grenzen, lerne Nein zu sagen, wenn du Widerstand verspürst.  Gebe deinen inneren Impulsen mehr Freiraum. Folge deinem Herzen und du wirst deine Persönlichkeit weiterentwickeln und so viel dazu lernen. Das Herz sieht mehr, als das bloße Auge je ergründen könnte. Das Auge sieht nur die Oberfläche. Das Herz und deine Seele ergründet viel tiefere Gefilde. Wenn du dein Herz öffnest, dann setzt es eine große Power frei. Du wirst wie ein Feuerwerk übersprühen voll von Kraft, Kreativität und deine gute Laune wird ansteckend sein und andere Menschen inspirieren.

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Lasst uns in 2019 einfach mehr wir selbst sein. Die Welt ist bunt und impulsiv. Es wäre schade, wenn alles eintönig und kontrollierbar wäre. Es ist mir eine große Ehre, dass ich mich selbst zu den Herz-Menschen zählen darf, die die Verbindung zwischen den verschiedenen Kulturen schaffen können. Sei offen und freundlich und höre auf dein Herz. Du wirst soviel dazulernen und die Welt für uns alle ein Stückchen besser machen.

STOP! Dir gefällt mein Content? Dann like diesen Beitrag und teile ihn mit deinen Freunden und Bekannten. Wie gehst du mit deinen Impulsen um? Ignorierst du sie oder nutzt du deren Potential bereits? Ich freue mich über deinen Kommentar.

Wenn du keinen Blogbeitrag mehr verpassen möchtest, abonniere einfach meinen Blog, indem du herunter scrollst und deine Email-Adresse einträgst.

How you can upgrade yourself without any hesitation!

Finally we ended up in 2019. If you wonder that you are not totally exited about the new year…then you are not alone with that feeling. Some people assume that everything changes with a turn of a year…but it’s pretty the same until you switch your mind to do things better in the new year then you did in the last one.

Many people set goals already in december and after a few weeks in january they struggle with realizing those things they wanted to achieve or those habits they wanted to let go. I personally believe in the magic of 21 days to change a certain habit and creating a routine for a new habit. If you don’t trust yourself and don’t believe in your journey then you will already fail after one week.

Sorry, that’s the bitter truth. It’s all about your motivation, your believe and your own confidence. If you feel insecure you will perhaps start asking other people about their opinion…and if those people like you they will not be objective at all. They will prettify the truth and help you to be happy with your comfort zone and your status quo.

Be honest to yourself! Are you really satisfied with your status quo? Or do you have some areas where you want to improve yourself or change to the good?

Do you like rocket ships? Sorry that I switch a little bit, but they are pretty awesome.

Did you ever observe a rocket launch? No? You should watch a video on YouTube about rockets and see how powerful they start into the air..in order to cross soon thinner air spaces.

After a while the rocket will continuously lean into a horizontal direction. The technique of rockets seems magical to me, especially because it’s all about maths and physics which is one of my weaknesses.

And I am really not an expert belonging rockets…it’s just enough to tell our children some exiting stories about Elon Musk and his ideas and innovations for our future. In general we can learn from the power system of that amazing vehicle: a rocket

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A rocket pushes itself with a lot of power into the air… and if it gets to a certain point it leans to the horizontal direction. A rocket will start after the countdown is finished …3..2..1 bääähhhmmm. It will not hesitate, not overthink, not questionare if it is a good idea to fly to the moon or elsewhere. It will just raise with a lot of power and then after a while lean into a horizontal direction. Some of those rockets get rid of stuff on their journey in order to loose weight. That sounds great for us too. We can get rid of old dogmas and bad thoughts in order to accomplish our dreams and free our minds.

Imagine you have a great goal. You know that this thing will improve your life. At the beginning of every year the motivation to change our lifes is pretty huge. So why not starting like a rocket does? Just stright into the air?  Without any hesitation, doubts and without overthinking if its right or wrong?

I am sure that you already overthought your goals as you did set them. So if you want to chase your dreams and realize those things which matter to you… then just remind yourself of the power of a rocket, which starts 3..2..1.. and does need often a lot of time to reach a certain goal.

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While flying to the moon takes just three days… the spacecraft „Polarlander Phoenix“ which started in 2007  to drive from the Earth to reach the Mars needed 10 month of time to reach its goal. With a rocket which would be filled with astronauts it would take probably 15 to 16 month to reach Mars from Earth.

I like you to put that picture into your mind. If you think something is pretty impossible for you and you get weak and less motivated belonging your goals after a few days…then think about the power of a rocket or a spacecraft and that you can use that imagination to get your things done.

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I am pretty obsessed with the believe in positivity. I don’t like to think negative, because I know that our thoughts are powerful and attract certain circumstances. If you believe in your own power an your ability to reach a certain goal, then you will achieve it, finally. Stay patient. I know that is soooo hard. But there is not only one way to reach a goal.

Make it fun, challenge yourself on a daily basis, document your progress, be proud about every step you make to approach your dream.

Honestly, I pushed myself a little bit to write something, which motivates you. My time-schedule is filled with to-do’s and I need to prioritize and to delegate to get all those things done. Sometimes I really don’t know what I should write which could be helpful or meaningful… but today I had that inspiration as I observed our son. He has that playmobil rocket and I just thought about the firework at 0.00 at the change of the year and how those small fireworks rockets flew in the air without any hesitation. Amazing!

For sure I am exited about my own goals, because I like to challenge myself pretty often. It is one of my character traits, I am sometimes overambitious. But that is the reason why I can help others, I am ready to solve problems and to get creative no matter how bad a certain situation might seem to be, while others already quit.

Just tell yourself: „Nobody can’t stop me, from doing what I want to do!“ And then start to what you need to do. Over and out!

So get those things done, which bring you closer to your goals, to your dreams…and please focus on the important stuff at first. We get so easily distracted nowadays. Important: Leave all those doubts behind and just imagine the power of a powerful rocket!

So I am pretty sure your 2019 will become amazing, if this blogarticle inspired you just a little bit! Consider to follow my blog in order to not miss a blogarticle again… I will regulary publish new content in German as well as in English in 2019. Being a blogger and having a readership which feels better after reading my stuff is very motivating for me. Hopefully I will inspire others and motivate myself too. If you already follow me, thank you for reading my content.

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