This article will help you to get things done. It will support you to focus on your own stuff! Weiterlesen „Why you should focus on yourself firstly!“
Hopefully you enjoy your life so far no matter which problems you have to face. Do you ever thought, that everything is too much for you? That you can not handle a certain issue which bothers you? Did you ever felt exhausted by your own thoughts and overwhelmed by your surroundings?
The reality is sometimes surreal. Do you feel deeply but cannot express all your insights because other people might think you overreact? Weiterlesen „Thougtful wednesday: The idea of being more present with people we love“
In times of social media and unlimited access to viral knowledge it is very important to be aware about yourself. In the last weeks I recognized some people who I follow on Instagram (@nidellinger is my account if you want to check it out) who have taken a social media fast. The results of their fast were pretty the same.
Kimmy from @sheisinherapron shared her thoughts about her social media pause in her latest YouTube Video. If you don’t know her, she is living in the United States and a proud mom which shares her cleaning routine, home decor ideas, life as a mom and wife on her YouTube channel. She did speak about the fact that she did find out about her addiction to her phone while the fast.
She realized quickly that her smartphone was like something which gives her a kind of value by scrolling down the social media feed. She was a little bit shocked about her behavior, because she checked her phone too many times a day, especially her Instagram account. That is why she felt for example bored, sad or angry. It was like an escape from the reality of her daily life ;O).
While the social media timeout she detected that her hand just was searching for her phone in order to scroll and she wanted to stop that addicted behavior immediately.
The social media time out let her feel how often she checked herself out, her body was there but her mind not present for those she loves. She recognized that her kids did not got the attention she wanted them to offer.
Furthermore she found out that although Pinterest was a great inspiration for her so far, she was even more creative while she explored her own ideas during the social media time-out instead of just copying things and ideas of others.
Actually she found time for things she wanted to do since a long time before. Scrolling through your phone can take five minutes here, 10 minutes there and if you count the amount of time you are online— you will realize you were just busy with your phone!
By staying away from social media she stopped comparing her work to other mompreneurs and realized that her own way feels good. It made her stronger in many different areas. And grateful about what she already achieved and what is gifted to her in her life.
Kimmy’s story inspired me to write this blogpost, because she became aware of herself and her faults. And awareness is so important.
How often do you get distracted by scrolling down on your smartphone?
And did you know that it is really impolite to speak with somebody while taking your visual attention on your phone?
I love the sentence of Simon Sinek:
„When someone asks for your time and you took your phone away to speak to that person, that is real leadership!“
As a mom I am a certain kind of leader too. I take care of my own tribe ;O). And as a entrepreneur there are situations were I have certain deadlines or important tasks to do. It is very easy to get connected with my smartphone. I could allow our kids to watch lots of cartoons instead of playing with them. Then I could properly get more work done.
But it does not feel good, to be busy all day long with a smartphone for me. It feels bad if you think of the consequences of to much social media consume and using smartphones for many hours.
- But I don’t want it easy.
- I want to offer them my best in order to get great results for their personal developement
- I want them to see that they are important.
- I want them to learn winning and loosing in life e.g. by playing boardgames or having a certain challenge
- I want them to explore their skills and their boundaries by running and jumping outside.
- I want them to value those things which we are gifted with
- I want them to believe in themselves.
- I want them to live a life according to their passions & talents
That is not build by social media consume, nor by tv or any other distraction which just seems to be the easiest way as a parent in our society. I was shocked about moms who give ipads to their children in order to fall asleep instead of reading a good-night-story and offering a hug to them. I still cannot understand why mothers hand out smartphones to toddlers in order to get them busy with that technology. And I will never understand moms who prefer to put their children in front of the tv or an ipad to eat their meals instead of sitting together as a family at one table and connect with each other.
Be aware about who you want to be, be aware about your surrounding, about those people who influence you and pay attention to your spouse in a proper way. Awareness is the key to upgrade yourself properly!
Strong relationships are build by awareness:
- If somebody means something to you- take care, listen and be present (full not with a sideview on your phone)
- Be kind to people who could need some kindness because nobody offers it to them
- Respect others even if you dont share their opinion
- Accept differences. Nobody is perfect. It would be very boring if we would be all equal and just running around like robots.
- Offer your help and support others who go through a hard time
- Stop to judge other people. If you cannot offer value or a certain solution for somebody, shut up!
- Don’t pretend something which you are not ready for. If you promise something you need to do that thing. If you can’t – don’t promise something to somebody.
Be aware of yourself.
How would you like to be?
Which value do you want to bring in this world?
How can you realize your „vision“?
Update yourself by visualizing how you want to be seen by others: What should people say about you, if you leave a room? What do you want to be famous for?
A stay-at-home-mom can inspire lots of others moms by her behaviour. It does not depend on your job, who you are. It is the deep inside. Your heart will connect with other people. Being aware of your skills, talents and your passion is very powerful. Once you learned to be aware about who you want to be, it is easier to focus on certain goals.
Today I like you to motivate to take a seat for 5-10 minutes and brainstorm about yourself:
- How do you see yourself right now?
- How would you love to be?
- How do you want to be perceived by others?
You can redesign you ego by awareness! YOU CAN CHANGE TO THE GOOD, if you focus and lead yourself to the point you want to see yourself!
A couple of days somebody told me, he admired the fact that I could write in a romantic style. Furthermore if I am interested in creating some advertising articles for his company, I would be very welcome.
I reflected about that message and I recognized how lovely that sounds, but I assume I am far away from being romantic, or writing romantically. In my opinion I am kind of disenchanted and pretty pragmatic. How do you perceive me?
Todays blogpost is stright-forward and honest as usual. I don’t like my readers to confuse with romantic phrases or with fantasy stories. My focus is always on facts combined with our emotions. The combination of the truth and the unknown, which needs to be revealed, is that knowledge which really drives me to write on my blog.
I hope, that you feel heard and respected by me as my reader. However you felt before you read my articles, I truly look forward, to help you to improve yourself and get deeper to those feelings inside yourself. I love you to feel valued and important, without being judged. Every person in this world deserves to be respected for its being.
It really matters, that you connect with yourself in order to get happier and positive on a daily basis. Life can be really full of struggle. I am always confronted with lots of problems too. People don’t know all about me. They just see that smart side of me, which helps others to get things done and to improve their game. That I by myself have a lot of issues going on in the backround, which make me nervous and need my focus, that is the other side of my life, which is okay too. Every person has problems to deal with and I just like you to know, that I also need to find solutions for my own problems too. But through all my problems I really learnt to get smarter and I am really grateful for every lesson of my life so far.
Lets speak about The 4 Truth about Partnershipgoals.
If you are in a partnership there are certain bounderies which might be unvisable.
They are unspoken rules, expectations and limitations in every relationship. These points can hinder your personal developement and influence your hapiness level as well.
The reason why I write about that is, that most people are not able to live their full potential, because they feel stopped or interrupted by the person they love. If you are living in a long-term-relationship you will automatically adapt a certain behaviour of that person you are living with. Additionally your thoughts can follow a specific pattern which is similiar to the thoughts of your spouse. Its like somebody has hacked your mind and has the ability to control you. The fact is, that you are emotionally involved and don’t want to hurt the person you share your life with nor be judged by that person, who admires you.
I really love people to connect with each other, to go deeply in their partnership and get that intense familiarity with each other. But couples need to be aware of themselves as independent persons. If I am not aware of myself and my own selective perception, I am living the life of another person or let another person decide about my life at all. And then at the end of the day, it feels surreal, because you dont live your own reality, but a life which is defined by another person.
So how can I live in harmony with my inner thoughts and rules as well as those of my spouse?
4 Truth Helpers of Partnershipgoals
1. Brainstorm on what your goals are
Man and woman can be very different. And their goals can be totally unlike, allthough they are a couple. Personal goals need to be defined by yourself. You have that goals which you want to achieve by your own. Additionally there are those goals which you love to accomplish with your spouse. Perhaps there are some expectations belonging your partner too. Write it down and speak about it. If you have different goals, you need to think and talk about possibilities to realize them. If you repress your thoughts and goals, you will feel dissatisfied after a while. It is neccessary to be aware about your purposes, in order to be real and honest to yourself. If you do not have any goals, you can drift away. If you do not focus, other people can decide about you and guide you. For some people that made be okay, but then you live anothers person truth instead of revealing your own hero.
2. Take up challenges and disagreements early on
Neglecting or ignoring problems will have bad consequences. Small issues can grow quite big after a small amount of time. If you feel uncertain about a specific topic its better to point out your insecurities instead of pretending that you win the whole game. In a partnership you can not fight alone. Partnership means that two persons connect with each other and support each other too. So if you feel stressed out, you should point that out, so misunderstandings will not grow to weird fights which are out of control. Fighting is important. Don’t fit yourself into a situation just to have „peace“. Thats not a real peace. You will feel peaceful if you are able to discuss things out and get connected again after every argument. You should not try to avoid disagreements. Every person is different and therefore misunderstandings and conflicts will appear, don’t worry.
3. Adress both partners needs
It is important to be aware of the needs of your spouse. Needs can change, and being up to date is really important in order to stay tuned and connected with each other. Sometimes its okay to put the needs of your spouse over your own needs. But that should be a special moment. If you just take care of the other person needs and your spouse does not pay attention to your own personal needs, nor takes care to fulfill your needs, then the relationship will get out of balance, which is really unhealthy. Seeing that you will be disappointed soon and cannot hold on all your defined partnershipgoals, because your spouse operates careless. So why should you care about him/her anymore?
4. Understand one anothers limitations
You should be aware of your own skills and your mindset. Furthermore you should take care of the limitations of your spouse. Some people are limited by their mindset and need to work on that, others are just limited with their skills generally. I am really convinced about the fact that understanding the flaws of the partner and the personal boundaries can bring a great impact into that relationship. You can support each other belonging partnershipgoals. The result matters. People will ask you about how you managed all this. And I strongly believe in the fact that couples can use the power of imagination to realize their goals. Sharing the process is something which creates a deeper connection. And by understanding the limitations of the spouse and the awareness of the strengths you can become a dreamteam for life.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. Perhaps you already are aware of all these four components, thats great. My favorite is Number 2. That is way I am a „peacemaker“. Conflicts are great to express your upset and sadness and to feel how your own acting can bother someone else. But I really prefer to live in a peaceful environment, where everybody feels listened, honoured and loved. Which truth of the four points is your favorite one?