A happy marriage is not build in one day. Huge buildings are not constructed by one day neither. You need clear plans for both to get the result you are longing for. An architect can outline a scheme of a specific building and plan many details. But if the construction worker do not follow his plans, the building will be out of control. It will not be that masterpiece which it were meant to be if the workers tamper with the hole thing.
A lucky marriage is similar to this example. You can plan and put all your effort into it. But a relationship aka marriage is not a one-man show. Its a dialogue, an unit, a day-to-day investment. Honestly if you mess it up, it will be done before you already start the journey together.
I read a lot about the perfect wife and how she should be and how she can improve herself. And I was surprised, that there are no great advices for him. Okay, there are some authors out there, which wrote guidebooks for him. But those books are more about how he can be a gentleman, or how he can satisfy her sexual needs. There are a few books out there who might improve your mindset of being a man. But did they ever speak about the important character trait of a perfect husband? Nope.
If you know a book, which does, please tell me about it, because I would love to read it. But until then, I will try to summarize the character traits of the perfect husband. And please that is really my selective perception.
- Loyality: A wife should have the possibility to put trust in her husband. If she tells him a secret he should be able to keep that private. Beyond that a perfect husband does not need to focus on other women. He should be able to satisfy his wife and his own needs inside his partnership. If a man is not able to be loyal, he should not consider to marry somebody. I don’t believe that a womanizer can perform the role of a perfect hubby. Loyality comes first.
- Kindness: Its all about how you act with others. If a man is kind to people, the wife will feel good about choosing that person as her husband. If he acts with kindness, she will also answer with kind words, because if he offers a certain value to her, she will be able to respond to that. An unkind man will bother others and his wife by his embarrasing behaviour.
- Respect: A true man, aka gentleman respects others. Even if he does not share the same opinion about a certain topic he is able to respect the other person for the different point of view. Women love to be valued and respected. If you treat your wife with respect, she will be gentle and reward you for this too.
- Pride: Whatever she is doing in private or business, if you show her that you are proud of her skills, intentions and her behaviour you will make her day. Being appreciative is very useful. Be proud of yourself, be proud of her and be proud of your marriage. If you love to improve your marriage you should focus on the good things in your partnership and show her what makes you really proud of her.
- adventurous: Women gernerally want to be strong today, thats right. But beside this your wife loves you to be adventurous too. That kind of adventurous, if you just want to do something unexpected, which really blows her mind. Although she loves to have a certain routine, she will enjoy it if you go an extra mile for her, to show her that you will invent yourself from time to time. Thinking out of the box will help you to be that kind of human she is longing forever.
- homourous: If you can make her smile, then you will be really happy together. If not, then you should work on your sense of humor. Laughing is very important in life. If you cannot laugh and she is also not able too, then the marriage would be very sad. If you can make her laugh, she will enjoy your company on a daily basis for sure.
- reliable: If you promise something, that means a total commitment. If you cannot realise something, then it is better to stay quiet instead of giving a promise to her. She wants somebody to hold on not to wait for. So if you have an appointment with her, make sure to be on time, and if you will be late, give her a call. If she needs you, unindependtly if emotionally or physically- be there for her. She needs you, so be present. That is what a perfect husband can always realise if he is in love with her. No execuses.
- flexibility : If something is not working as planned, then you can easily become angry or react irritated. By being flexibel you give yourself and your surroundings so many added opportunities. Try to be as flexibel as you can. She will be thankful for your effort. Many wifes have a hard time by dealing with changes. If you stay cool and flexibel, she will be more relaxed and happy, even if life is not easy at all. Being able to compromise is very useful. You could persist on your right, on your thoughts and your decisions, but it would be egoistic. So if you want to be a perfect husband then be creative and flexibel in order to realise great results.
A happy marriage is possible. It is important that you remind yourself of the good things, try to improve your „now“ and that you have a certain vision of your „Future We“.
Awareness is so powerful. If you are sure about what you want to achieve in the next years together you can support each other and enjoy each others company. Offering value to the other person is really underestimated. People think it will all fit perfectly and they could stay in their comfort zone. Suddenly they wonder why their marriage does not work as it should.
I can promise you that a marriage is full of up and downs. It is like a rollercoaster:
You will have those moments where you feel afraid & shocked. There are moments of having a hard time. Then other days you will be full of joy, totally lucky, secure and proud. Focus on the positive outcome. Trust in the process. If you invest, you will be rewarded later on.
Which character trait is your favorite and why?
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