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Happy marriage goals: The 8 character trait of the perfect husband

A happy marriage is not build in one day. Huge buildings are not constructed by one day neither. You need clear plans for both to get the result you are longing for. An architect can outline a scheme of a specific building and plan many details. But if the construction worker do not follow his plans, the building will be out of control. It will not be that masterpiece which it were meant to be if the workers tamper with the hole thing.

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A lucky marriage is similar to this example. You can plan and put all your effort into it. But a relationship aka marriage is not a one-man show. Its a dialogue, an unit, a day-to-day investment. Honestly if you mess it up, it will be done before you already start the journey together.

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I read a lot about the perfect wife and how she should be and how she can improve herself. And I was surprised, that there are no great advices for him. Okay, there are some authors out there, which wrote guidebooks for him. But those books are more about how he can be a gentleman, or how he can satisfy her sexual needs. There are a few books out there who might improve your mindset of being a man. But did they ever speak about the important character trait of a perfect husband? Nope.

If you know a book, which does, please tell me about it, because I would love to read it. But until then, I will try to summarize the character traits of the perfect husband. And please that is really my selective perception.

  1. Loyality: A  wife should have the possibility to put trust in her husband. If she tells him a secret he should be able to keep that private. Beyond that a perfect husband does not need to focus on other women. He should be able to satisfy his wife and his own needs inside his partnership. If a man is not able to be loyal, he should not consider to marry somebody. I don’t believe that a womanizer can perform the role of a perfect hubby. Loyality comes first.romance-1209046_1920.jpg
  2. Kindness: Its all about how you act with others. If a man is kind to people, the wife will feel good about choosing that person as her husband. If he acts with kindness, she will also answer with kind words, because if he offers a certain value to her, she will be able to respond to that. An unkind man will bother others and his wife by his embarrasing behaviour. affection-1867098_1920.jpg
  3. Respect: A true man, aka gentleman respects others. Even if he does not share the same opinion about a certain topic he is able to respect the other person for the different point of view. Women love to be valued and respected. If you treat your wife with respect, she will be gentle and reward you for this too.people-3264217_1280.jpg
  4. Pride: Whatever she is doing in private or business, if you show her that you are proud of her skills, intentions and her behaviour you will make her day. Being appreciative is very useful. Be proud of yourself, be proud of her and be proud of your marriage. If you love to improve your marriage you should focus on the good things in your partnership and show her what makes you really proud of her.swan-2077219_1280.jpg
  5. adventurous: Women gernerally want to be strong today, thats right. But beside this your wife loves you to be adventurous too. That kind of adventurous, if you just want to do something unexpected, which really blows her mind. Although she loves to have a certain routine, she will enjoy it if you go an extra mile for her, to show her that you will invent yourself from time to time. Thinking out of the box will help you to be that kind of human she is longing forever.biker-384921_1920.jpg
  6. homourous: If you can make her smile, then you will be really happy together. If not, then you should work on your sense of humor. Laughing is very important in life. If you cannot laugh and she is also not able too, then the marriage would be very sad. If you can make her laugh, she will enjoy your company on a daily basis for sure.actress-2868705_1920 (1).jpg
  7. reliable: If you promise something, that means a total commitment. If you cannot realise something, then it is better to stay quiet instead of giving a promise to her. She wants somebody to hold on not to wait for. So if you have an appointment with her, make sure to be on time, and if you will be late, give her a call. If she needs you, unindependtly if emotionally or physically- be there for her. She needs you, so be present. That is what a perfect husband can always realise if he is in love with her. No execuses.entrepreneur-2326419_1920.jpg
  8. flexibility : If something is not working as planned, then you can easily become angry or react irritated. By being flexibel you give yourself and your surroundings so many added opportunities. Try to be as flexibel as you can. She will be thankful for your effort. Many wifes have a hard time by dealing with changes. If you stay cool and flexibel, she will be more relaxed and happy, even if life is not easy at all. Being able to compromise is very useful. You could persist on your right, on your thoughts and your decisions, but it would be egoistic. So if you want to be a perfect husband then be creative and flexibel in order to realise great results.street-workout-2628919_1920.jpg

A happy marriage is possible. It is important that you remind yourself of the good things, try to improve your „now“ and that you have a certain vision of your „Future We“.

Awareness is so powerful. If you are sure about what you want to achieve in the next years together you can support each other and enjoy each others company. Offering value to the other person is really underestimated. People think it will all fit perfectly and they could stay in their comfort zone. Suddenly they wonder why their marriage does not work as it should.

I can promise you that a marriage is full of up and downs. It is like a rollercoaster:

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You will have those moments where you feel afraid & shocked. There are moments of having a hard time. Then other days you will be full of joy, totally lucky, secure and proud. Focus on the positive outcome. Trust in the process. If you invest, you will be rewarded later on. 

Which character trait is your favorite and why?

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The True 4 Helpers Of Partnershipgoals

A couple of days somebody told me, he admired the fact that I could write in a romantic style. Furthermore if I am interested in creating some advertising articles for his company, I would be very welcome.

I reflected about that message and I recognized how lovely that sounds, but I assume I am far away from being romantic, or writing romantically. In my opinion I am kind of disenchanted and pretty pragmatic. How do you perceive me?

Todays blogpost is stright-forward and honest as usual. I don’t like my readers to confuse with romantic phrases or with fantasy stories. My focus is always on facts combined with our emotions. The combination of the truth and the unknown, which needs to be revealed, is that knowledge which really drives me to write on my blog.

I hope, that you feel heard and respected by me as my reader. However you felt before you read my articles, I truly look forward, to help you to improve yourself and get deeper to those feelings inside yourself. I love you to feel valued and important, without being judged. Every person in this world deserves to be respected for its being.

It really matters, that you connect with yourself in order to get happier and positive on a daily basis. Life can be really full of struggle. I am always confronted with lots of problems too. People don’t know all about me. They just see that smart side of me, which helps others to get things done and to improve their game. That I by myself have a lot of issues going on in the backround, which make me nervous and need my focus, that is the other side of my life, which is okay too. Every person has problems to deal with and I just like you to know, that I also need to find solutions for my own problems too. But through all my problems I really learnt to get smarter and I am really grateful for every lesson of my life so far.

Lets speak about The 4 Truth about Partnershipgoals.

If you are in a partnership there are certain bounderies which might be unvisable.

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They are unspoken rules, expectations and limitations in every relationship. These points can hinder your personal developement and influence your hapiness level as well.

The reason why I write about that is, that most people are not able to live their full potential, because they feel stopped or interrupted by the person they love. If you are living in a long-term-relationship you will automatically adapt a certain behaviour of that person you are living with. Additionally your thoughts can follow a specific pattern which is similiar to the thoughts of your spouse. Its like somebody has hacked your mind and has the ability to control you. The fact is, that you are emotionally involved and don’t want to hurt the person you share your life with nor be judged by that person, who admires you.

I really love people to connect with each other, to go deeply in their partnership and get that intense familiarity with each other. But couples need to be aware of themselves as independent persons. If I am not aware of myself and my own selective perception, I am living the life of another person or let another person decide about my life at all. And then at the end of the day, it feels surreal, because you dont live your own reality, but a life which is defined by another person.

So how can I live in harmony with my inner thoughts and rules as well as those of my spouse? 

4 Truth Helpers of Partnershipgoals

1. Brainstorm on what your goals are

Man and woman can be very different. And their goals can be totally unlike, allthough they are a couple. Personal goals need to be defined by yourself. You have that goals which you want to achieve by your own. Additionally there are those goals which you love to accomplish with your spouse. Perhaps there are some expectations belonging your partner too. Write it down and speak about it. If you have different goals, you need to  think and talk about possibilities to realize them. If you repress your thoughts and goals, you will feel dissatisfied after a while. It is neccessary to be aware about your purposes, in order to be real and honest to yourself. If you do not have any goals, you can drift away. If you do not focus, other people can decide about you and guide you. For some people that made be okay, but then you live anothers person truth instead of revealing your own hero.

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2. Take up challenges and disagreements early on

Neglecting or ignoring problems will have bad consequences. Small issues can grow quite big after a small amount of time. If you feel uncertain about a specific topic its better to point out your insecurities instead of pretending that you win the whole game. In a partnership you can not fight alone. Partnership means that two persons connect with each other and support each other too. So if you feel stressed out, you should point that out, so misunderstandings will not grow to weird fights which are out of control. Fighting is important. Don’t fit yourself into a situation just to have „peace“. Thats not a real peace. You will feel peaceful if you are able to discuss things out and get connected again after every argument. You should not try to avoid disagreements. Every person is different and therefore misunderstandings and conflicts will appear, don’t worry.

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3. Adress both partners needs

It is important to be aware of the needs of your spouse. Needs can change, and being up to date is really important in order to stay tuned and connected with each other. Sometimes its okay to put the needs of your spouse over your own needs. But that should be a special moment. If you just take care of the other person needs and your spouse does not pay attention to your own personal needs, nor takes care to fulfill your needs, then the relationship will get out of balance, which is really unhealthy. Seeing that you will be disappointed soon and cannot hold on all your defined partnershipgoals, because your spouse operates careless. So why should you care about him/her anymore?

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4. Understand one anothers limitations

You should be aware of your own skills and your mindset. Furthermore you should take care of the limitations of your spouse. Some people are limited by their mindset and need to work on that, others are just limited with their skills generally. I am really convinced about the fact that understanding the flaws of the partner and the personal boundaries can bring a great impact into that relationship. You can support each other belonging partnershipgoals. The result matters. People will ask you about how you managed all this. And I strongly believe in the fact that couples can use the power of imagination to realize their goals. Sharing the process is something which creates a deeper connection. And by understanding the limitations of the spouse and the awareness of the strengths you can become a dreamteam for life.

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Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. Perhaps you already are aware of all these four components, thats great. My favorite is Number 2. That is way I am a „peacemaker“. Conflicts are great to express your upset and sadness and to feel how your own acting can bother someone else. But I really prefer to live in a peaceful environment, where everybody feels listened, honoured and loved. Which truth of the four points is your favorite one?

 

 

 

Motivational Monday Partnershipgoals: Why does a fight with my spouse help to clear the air?

Hopefully you had a great weekend and you are high motivated to start this monday with good intention and happiness. Did you had a great weekend so far?

I am grateful about the fact that my weekend was really awesome.  I enjoyed my me-time, quality-time with my husband as well as some adventures with our children.

On sunday I went to a circus with my family and I realized that the people around me were full of conflicts. I thought, its really bad for people, if they are having an argument but don’t know to handle their problems with each other in a proper way.

Honestly I often feel so emphatic that I could literally cry for other peoples headaches… but if those people would realize how powerful a fight can be and how much impact a solved conflict can bring into a relationship they would not be scared of fighting anymore. I am really optimistic about the fact that every interaction between human beings can help us to know each other on a deeper level, as well as explore ourselves.

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Most people are not able to handle conflicts in a decent way. They actually did not learn it as a child nor in their partnership. If a conflict arises a person which is not able to manage that problem in a professional way will react mostly in one of those four ways:

  1. He/she withdraws, like snails hide into their houses.
  2. He/she becomes silent and reacts offended and starts ignoring the other person.
  3. He/She attacks and insults the opponent without thinking about the consequences.
  4. He/She leaves because of the leck of ability to handle any conflict.

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The reason why people are afraid to handle conflicts with others is that they did not learn it. We can compare it with a small lesson of your childhood, like riding a bike or learning swimming. I am sure about the fact that at the first try of both activities you were uncertain and concerned about your ability to get through that exercise in a good way.

And that is totally okay. Why? Because people always need to do things more then once in order to get sure about it and to develope a certain confidence. The ability of proper conflict-management is not a native skill. You need to fight a couple of times in order to learn fighting in a wiser way.

If you recognize that fighting is not the end of the world, you will also learn, that fighting is quite usual and can even bring an impact to your relationship.  In most cases a great solution is on the way if you put your effort and your kindness into that conflict:

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Most reasons for fight:

  • People fight because they are different.
  • People fight because they have various needs.
  • People fight because of their selective perception.
  • People fight because of their different opinions, goals and values
  • People fight, because they misunderstood a lot, or misinterpret words, emotions and reactions of others
  • People fight because of cultural differences and lingual gaps.
  • People fight, because of bad habits and frustration.

This list could be a never ending one. Because there are so many reasons and options to start a fight with your spouse. But it does not matter, WHY you are fighting. Sometimes there is something in the air and a conflict arises suddenly…

The important thing about fighting is to prepare yourself for that „war“. You might laugh about my words, because I describe it in this way!  By preparation for a conflict I don’t mean to arm yourself and to check your weapons to be ready all the time. On the contrary I recommend that you should try to strengthen your skills belonging conflict-management. Then you can easily figure out how to fight with an successful outcome.

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Most parents show their children how to share a bar of chocolate and how to fight for their rights. But just a few adults teach their children how to handle with personal conflicts.

Especially that ability of conflict-management is needed and helpful in a partnership as well as in other aspects of our society. People who can calm down and stay politely in conflicts are an enrichment for all of us.

The generation Y was full of children which witnessed the divorce of their parents. I was really lucky that my parents did stay together, but in my class there were daily news about new fights of parents and claims of divorces.

I remember how broken those pupils were but actually they were happy about the fact that there were no more fights anymore. But some of them got that kind of commitment phobia. They were unable to trust someone close in their life afterwards, because of the divorce of their parents. Others thought they would do it so much better as their parents did, but they really failed.

A happy marriage is not build in a day. It needs the ability to invest and the investment is not allowed to be onesided. If both spouses are on the same level they can improve their partnership day by day. A qualified conflict-management system can realize building up a strong relationship: If you know how to fight, you can learn through all your conflicts. It is like an app which is updated. You will create the opportunity to have more space and be faster and safer afterwards.

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I like to compare a relationship with entrepreneurship. If you are running a business there can happen a lot of unexpected circumstances aka conflicts. If you learn to handle these problems and stay motivated you can bring your business on a higher level. If you create solutions for problems and conflics you can really be aware of everything and stay on top.

It is similar in a relationship. A good fight can clear the air. Your space you are living in sometimes needs an intensive housecleaning process. The emotional impact is huge, because you bring all these feelings out of your mind and give the other person access to exchange data with your heart.

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I personally don’t believe that a relationship does work without fighting and making ones peace with each other afterwards.

If one person is shy to fight or afraid of conflicts, he/she will do everything in order to please the spouse and to avoid a conflict. But that kind of relationship is not a healthy one. Because that person which is always swallowing his/her feeelings in order to keep a „peaceful environment“ will suddenly burn out. It is just a question of time.

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There are some rules, which are really helpful, if you are in an argument and belonging your future as a couple:

  1. You should start always with an I message: “ I am concerned.“, „I am sad.“ „I am angry“. And you should not say things like: I am sad because you are a jerk.“
  2. Explain and express yourself without complaining or warming up old stuff of the past!
  3. You should try to act honestly & politely allthough you literally would prefer to throw a plate on the floor ;O):
  4. Listen, what the other person has to say. And try to stay silent until the other person finishes his/her explainations. Don’t interrupt. I know that’s really hard but you can train yourself to stop interrupting. Give the other party that space to express his/her feelings and sorrows
  5. Review about the situation and ask the other person about personal wishes and suggestions to solve a certain problem.
  6. Mention which is important to yourself and stay calm.
  7. Agree on a compromise, even if you would like to win this fight. In most cases both spouses are right. But naturally you feel that your point of view is the right term. A compromise is the tool which let you both become winners instead of a winner and a looser result. You should always support a win- win situation
  8. Reflect about the feelings and the needs of the person you love and share your life with.
  9. How can you support that person? Would it bring an impact to continuate in this condition? Evaluate the consequences of your speech, actions and intentions and try to bring a greater value into your partnership
  10. Balance is the key to handle any conflict. If you are sad about something and you miss to point this out, it is possible that your spouse is not aware of your sadness. Communication is the key to a happy marriage. Try to express your thoughts and feelings on a daily basis in order to avoid that you collect a huge amount of unpleasent feelings.

Fighting with your spouse is not as bad as it might seem by the first sight. It is the oppurtunity to get to know each other better and to connect and find compromises. Fighting cleans the air, because you can express yourself. If your spouse is able to have a good fight with you it can intense your partnership. Solving problems brings a great value. So if you learn to fight with introducing peace into that process, you will really fresh up your partnership after every conflict.

Hopefully you enjoyed reading this. WAIT! If you did, please press the like-button or share this with somebody who should read this blogarticle. I really love people to stay connected and try improving themselves. If you want to help others too, then hit the share-button: Because sharing is caring!

How do you handle your conflicts?  I would really love to know how you think about managing conflicts in a relationship. Which hack do you want to share? Do you like to point out something which was not mentioned by me? Please use the comment function to interact!

Which problem do you want to solve in your relationship?

Many people enjoy reading lovestories and most people love to get advices for a happy relationship. Why? Probably because we love that feeling of reading romantic stories or listening to someone who can show us, how we can be happier then right now?

I personally like to watch romantic movies and I like those kind of movies where couples go to a lot (!!!) of struggle but at the end of the movie there is a kind of happy end. Okay, sorry that is to much illusion for you? Might be, because the reality is not about rainbows and butterflies… Weiterlesen „Which problem do you want to solve in your relationship?“

Beziehungskiller Mundgeruch: Wie Mann und Frau am besten damit umgehen können!

Könnt ihr Euch an den Song „Mief“ von den Komikern Olli Dittrich und Wigald Boning alias „die Doofen“ erinnern? Dieses Lied aus den 90er Jahren mochte zwar komisch sein, befasste sich allerdings mit einem sehr ernsten Thema: Dem ganzen Muff, dem wir so ausgesetzt sind, wenn sich einer nicht richtig pflegt. Und wenn das auch noch derjenige ist mit dem du zusammenlebst…Holla, die Waldfee! In meinen heutigen Blogartikel geht es vor allem um einen strengen Geruch und zwar dem aus unserem Mund. Wer Tipps und Tricks zu diesem Thema haben möchte sollte weiterlesen… Weiterlesen „Beziehungskiller Mundgeruch: Wie Mann und Frau am besten damit umgehen können!“

Kann ich heiraten trotz Bindungsangst?

Bei meinem Job als Hochzeitsvisionärin erlebe ich die Gefühle der Heiratswilligen sehr nah mit. Es macht mir sehr viel Spaß, die Partner jeweils emotional zu unterstützen. Ihr werdet nicht glauben, wie viele Paare kurz vor der Hochzeit noch in gemeinsame Konflikte geraten.

Ich hatte schon Fälle, da hatte das Paar lange Zeit im voraus die Hochzeit geplant und bis zum großen Tag hatten sie sich bereits auseinandergelebt. Dies ist allerdings nicht die Regel. Mir ist aber aufgefallen, dass einige Menschen unter Bindungsangst leiden und gar nicht wissen, wie sie damit umgehen sollen. Viele Liebenden können sich gar nicht auf eine ernste Beziehung oder gar eine Hochzeit einlassen, weil sie unter großen Ängsten leiden… Weiterlesen „Kann ich heiraten trotz Bindungsangst?“

Geheimrezept für eine glückliche Beziehung: Zehn Zutaten für das langfristige Liebesglück

Inspiriert durch eine Äußerung von einer Bekannten werde ich jetzt mal mein Geheimnis lüften. Ich werde kurioserweise in letzter Zeit öfters gefragt, was meine eigene Paar-Beziehung ausmacht, ob ich da ein Geheimrezept für hätte. Ob ich anderen Tipps und Tricks verraten kann, die weiterhelfen eine glückliche Beziehung zu führen.

Ich fühle mich richtig geehrt, wenn andere meine Beziehung mit meinem Mann als vorbildlich empfinden. Ich weiß, ich beleuchte immer Dinge von allen Seiten und bin extrem kritisch, auch was uns selbst angeht. Dass mich andere Menschen fragen, wie Sie meiner Meinung nach eine erfüllte Partnerschaft erleben können, hat mich zunächst verwundert.

Tatsächlich ist mir in den letzten Tagen bewusst geworden, wie wertvoll es ist, sein Leben mit jemanden gemeinsam zu beschreiten und gerne teile ich meine Hacks mit Euch… Weiterlesen „Geheimrezept für eine glückliche Beziehung: Zehn Zutaten für das langfristige Liebesglück“

Zeit für Frühjahrputz: Hast du deine Paarbeziehung schon auf Vordermann gebracht?

Der Frühling ist da und viele Menschen starten einen Frühjahrsputz in der Wohnung bzw. dem Haus. Schon mal daran gedacht, in deiner Paarbeziehung mit einem Frühjahrsputz für neuen Glanz zu sorgen? Wie kann ich meine Langzeitbeziehung auffrischen? Welche Wege muss ich gehen, um unsere Liebe wieder aufflammen zu lassen? Der Frühling steht für Neuanfang. Ich zeige dir ein paar Tricks, die im Nullkommanichts deine Beziehung auf ein höheres Niveau bringen. Wenn du Lust hast, deine Beziehung zu beleben, dann lies weiter… Weiterlesen „Zeit für Frühjahrputz: Hast du deine Paarbeziehung schon auf Vordermann gebracht?“

L wie Liebe, L wie Leuchtturm. Innovative Hochzeiten. Der neue Trend im Leuchtturm „Ja“-zu sagen

Als Hochzeitsexpertin für Heiraten in Dänemark bin ich immer wieder auf der Suche nach geeigneten Locations, die einen neuen und passenden Rahmen für standesamtliche Trauungen darstellen. Im Standesamt kann ja grundsätzlich jeder heiraten. Dass die Standesbeamten in Dänemark aber auch bereit sind, die Trauung an besonderen Orten auszuführen, ist ein echtes Highlight und sorgt für innovative Möglichkeiten, was die Trauungen betrifft. Ich möchte Paaren nicht nur die standesamtliche Trauung ermöglichen, sondern auch den Weg ebnen, etwas ganz Besonderes erleben zu dürfen. Wenn ihr zusammen außergewöhnliche Dinge erlebt, dann ist das ein guter Start für eine glückliche Ehe. Erfahre hier, warum Heiraten im Leuchtturm auch das Richtige für dich sein könnte… Weiterlesen „L wie Liebe, L wie Leuchtturm. Innovative Hochzeiten. Der neue Trend im Leuchtturm „Ja“-zu sagen“

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