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Why you should focus on yourself firstly!

This article will help you to get things done. It will support you to focus on your own stuff! Weiterlesen „Why you should focus on yourself firstly!“

Dark shadows! Why you should focus on your future not your past!

How do you feel today? Are you totally happy with your life? Or do you need some improvements here and there to feel better then right now? Don’t feel bad about dark shadows under your eyes, dark shadows beside your heart or seeing just black right now. Its okay. There was that Black Friday! :O) And everybody was totally in that, while I was just trying to get over my influenza, which stopped me from achieving anything.

My mind was useless, I feld like somebody had hidden a huge piece of wood on my head. Totally exhausted and weak. Yes, don’t be sursprised. You are not the only person in the world, who feels a little bit dark here and there.

There are many reasons, why we feel bad and unproductive. Why we not function as we should, why we questionaire ourselves and our surroundings over and over again… I don’t blame you for being negative. And you should not blame me for being an optimist with a dark side, nor blame yourself for who you are.

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  • Perhaps you get lost sometimes by thinking about your past.
  • Sometimes you might feel bad, because you cannot change some terms you want to change immediately.
  • Being with people who might got stucked in their lifes can stop you from being positive at all.
  • Especially feeling guilty for a disaster you are in right now will not change the game on the contrary it prevents you from solving problems because you already have put your head right into the sand!
  • Particulary assuming not deserving something, allthough you want it so much, is a big mistake you should not repeat.
  • Impatience might blind you for a lot of opportunities in your life.
  • You don’t have those people around yourself, who support you in a proper way.
  • Bad experiences taught your mind, that it does not work and will never work.

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Okay, the dark side is in everybody. Some people try to hide them, some use their dark side to get better, to improve themselves to get motivated.

Do you believe somebody takes high risks and leaves his/her comfort zone just for fun?

No! Successful people leave their comfort zone in order to achieve their goals and to frame a picture of a great future.

If you can not believe in yourself– the unkind answer sounds like: „Nobody else will believe in you!“

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If you have a dark phantasy then it can offer you a lot of creativity. Because totally thinking out of the box is a skill which not everyone is able to build. So if you see something very dark you can really shape the picture as gloomy as you can. Accordingly you might ask yourself about the opposite of that state. Is there a solution for the dark moment? Can somebody rescue you or something change that state?

The best solutions for other people problems were not created by positive thoughts and spontaniuous ideas, while everybody was happy and feeling fine.

Actually people find solutions for problems, because if they don’t they will earn less money or need to spend more time or loose their good reputation…

For example a hotel which needs to fix a pipe problem in the hotel bathroom and offers the guests a free meal in the restaurant in order to get them happy and not a bad judgement on a social media plattform later on. Good reviews of costumers are the best marketing for every company. And bad reviews are the last thing somebody wants to get, right?

Another example is a techniquel device. Why should anybody buy a device, if it does not solve a problem? A solution for  time-management, automatizing, making things easier for the user! I am sure that IT teachnician focus on solving problems while developing new products and software updates or apps.

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Do you know why I created that Youtube video where I tell people how to fill out a form in order to get married? It was a solution for a huge problem. People messed it up. They sent notice of marriage formulars to me which were a hot mess. And if I can’t read those scratchy writing, how should a registrar of a wedding office get trusted with it, right?

After having some nightmare couples which missed to write their adress right… and after a lot of calls of brides and grooms who I needed to tell the filling procedere over and over again… I decided to solve the problem: By creating a video, which shows people 1 to 1 how to handle the job. And the problem was solved, because now I just need to send the video link to the couples and they can sit down and tackle the formular within a few minutes of their time. One solutions: 3 Winners:

  1. Firstly the costumers are happy, because everything is easy explained to them and they can access the video again if they need it instead of having it generally explained on the phone.
  2. Secondly I am happy, because the couples mostly do their job good and are able to fill the form by themselves, and I did not need to spend time anymore explaining it on the phone, which I really disliked after a few times.
  3. Thirdly the registrars are happy because they can easily oversee the form and work on the cases and give me answers soon. Every bureaucrat enjoys clear writing and proper forms.

And there are some other couples who use my how to do video in order to get married with another agengy. And I am generous at this point. Its okay for me, if other people profit of my knowledge. I am sure every company has his own costumer. But inspiring people is still something I love to do.

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And you? Whats about your dark point? Are you still in that dark whole or already rising your head a little bit to see the light? I know, that you can  overthink any angle of your life. I trust you,  that your past can be a huge burden sometimes. What is about making peace with all that bad things which happened to you before? I just like you to motivate to give your future a chance.

All of the sudden you could magically detect that the past could be a book full of lectures which were written just for you. And per chance you might clarify some emotional junk inside yourself too. Make peace with people who did hurt you, make peace with yourself, if you did something wrong. Say sorry to somebody who needs your apology. Give something back to those people who helped you out as you did not expect it.

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In the wintertime people try to hide themselves inside their flats and houses and make it warm and cozy. But if you curl yourself up into a ball you will be alone with yourself and your own mindset. And that might be dangerous sometimes, if you disappear into obscurity.

And every single person in the world has good days and some bad days too. And if such a dark day appears you will see everything darker as it already is. To protect yourself from living in a bubble in the past which is just taking place in your own mind… you should try to step a feet out of your door, in order to smell the world and your own future with all these unborn ideas and opportunities…

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The darkest YOU might be more lighter then my own dark side. But I learned to find strength in all these darkness and to light a candle which brings me trough a state of darkness until there appears the real light. With my motivational posts I always motivate myself too. Thats sounds surreal, but its the dark truth.

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I love to encourage you today:

  • Please, believe in yourself!
  • Please, don’t hide your skills, nor your emotions anymore!
  • If you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, then their is a great path waiting for you.
  • Please, find joy in the little things and stay connected with your heart!
  • Instead of focussing on the past, concentrate on a great future, be aware of the present and take care of yourself and your energy!
  • create moments of joy instead moments of fear!

Do you feel inspired? Just a little bit?

How to be strong if you actually feel weak

The key of being strong is not in your surroundings, it’s in yourself. If you learn to listen to your own voice your will become stronger then you ever would have expected.

Everybody knows those bad days, where literally everything goes wrong or you are totally overwhelmed. Having a bad day is a temporary thing. So if you are aware about the fact that there will be happy days in your future, it’s more easier to face those days which are challenging you totally.

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Last week I had one of those days… it started with waiting up late, our son missing his school bus, driving him by myself to school, then missing something important for our daughters childcare place. Because I was already late I could not do my morning cleaning routine, I just run into the home office to get things done. I was busy with crazy cases, because the registrar office did not react as I wanted them to… spontaneously I got a visitor for lunch, my husband informed me quite late about that circumstance. So I was trying to get my work done and cooking something great. But after I had mopped the kitchen floor and opened the door of the fridge in order to put out some salad, an open box with tomato paste was falling right on the floor, in front of my feet, creating a disaster… yes I can have those days too which are a big challenge and bother me.

After the lunch I realized that I feel totally weak. I felt overwhelmed, tired, exhausted and I thought of just leaving everything and everybody without a word and having a warm shower!

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With that picture I realised myself magically tackeling the whole pile of dirty dishes and answering our kids who consistently tried to argue each other on a higher level. I created hope in myself! Hope for a change to the positive outcome.

Honestly I knew the day would be like this, because I was really beyond myself. But while I listened to my inner voice which really seeked for a warm shower, I knew that goal would bring me through everything. Just the imagination of having a shower was like a reset button. I just restarted my mindset. Why should I get angry or get loud, if the others don’t listen to my advice? Why should I be sad about the fact that I did not get all the things done I usually get done? I realised that its really okay to just be in this moment and to create a place of happiness instead of perfection.

After the visitor said goodbye I just told my husband that I would go to have a shower. The children were playing all the time and were allowed to watch some cartoons. I really enjoyed my me-time, because usually in the morning I have some minutes just for myself before everybody gets up an we get busy. But if yu wake up late, you miss those minutes, and then you feel totally beside the road. I love to have a plan, I love to be strong. But if I realise that I have a moment of weakness, then its totally okay for me to find motivation by offering something to myself, which is important for me. Sometimes its reading a book, having a great workout—it differs on my kind of feeling weak-state. Sometimes I just imagine how the future will be and I remind myself about the fact, that this current time is just one small macro of a huge timespace which is offered to us. So if I realize that a bad day is nothing compared to all those great days I have/had, then the bad day is not so dark as it seemed to me by the first sight.

Your inner voice is the call of your heart. Its like a reminder. It will ring the bell, if you are skipping your needs because of duties and responsibilities. Be aware of that voice. It can be very silent, but it tells you always the truth and helps you to protect yourself to get recharged and powerful again!

How do you help yourself to be strong in stressed situations, where you feel overwhelmed, weak & tired? Are you a believer of powernapping?

Why your perfection hinders you from being successful & lucky

In the past I met lots of people who really strived to be perfect or were busy with pretending a perfect life. Both of these activities are totally against yourself. But let me tell you why. If you try to be perfect, then you will put your „goals“ and „values“ so high, that you barely can achieve those.

People who want to be perfect, don’t focus at one talent they have. They want to have it all: A clean home, a great career, a good relationship with their wife, a spectular connection to their kids and good friends as well as vacations, voluntary stuff going on beside this, bring healthy and in shape… the list will never end.

That kind of path is very stony. The problem is: You put huge stones in front of yourself which hinder you from being grateful and enjoy the moment, because you always want to have it perfectly and it is not that perfect at every minute of your life. So you will not feel happy at all, because you will just try to do it perfectly and thereby realize that it isn’t.

The other activity to pretend that your personal world is perfect, is a very bad emotional state too. Why? Because you pretend that your life is great, while in reality you could need some help. But you don’t admit because you want to show that you are great and that your are strong.

Perhaps you already know that I am married and my spouse was born in northern iraq. In the kurdish culture as well as in all the other oriental cultures, superficial perception of others get a lot of attention.

Many of my clients are orientals, it does not matter if you were born in turkey, afghanistan, iran or syria… I understand your kind of thinking and feeling, because I feel very familar with the oriental mind. As I finished school we had that book where other pupils will write about you. One person commented that I am an oriental soul in a german body. I laughed at it. But I assume that I can build a bridge between orient and the western world because of my character and my experiences with foreign people.

Most people try to show their best side, and thats good. But often people put too much pressure on their own shoulders because they are afraid about the other persons opinion. As a child an oriental girl as well as a boy will be told: Don’t do this or that, because people would think bad about you/us. Family comes first. And you are representing the honour of that family with every step you make or don’t.

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A clean home means- I am a good person. Preparing lots of good food- is an unspoken rule. Your clothes, your style, your manners everything will be recognized and can lead others to speak about you. Allthough oriental people are the most charming and loving people I ever met, they really need to be connected with their inner voice again. Because the voices of all other people around them will be so loud and be overrated, because they were used to grow unselfish.

For sure everybody wants to be representing the best of himself. But if you do things because you are afraid of being judged by others, then its against yourself. If you clean your messy home, because to feel comfortable and to make your home a heaven, that is different. Its for you and your comfort. If your home is filled with good vibes, a visitor will feel happy and welcome there too. If you clean because of others– you will hate the task and you will hate the other person, before that crosses the doorstep. ;O)

Over the years I developed lots of organizing skills, but until today there are times where my house is a mess, especially if my mind is too full and I cannot get everything finished as I want it to. Oriental visitors can appear very spontaniously. Knock-knock! There is a kurdish speech with says:

vistors are like rain, they come suddenly!

Of course I adapted a lots of trained attitutes all over the years in that binational relationship with a big family. Spinning all these plates around is a masterpiece: Cooking spontaneously for 20 people, cleaning the house, taking care of our children beside this, then entertaining the visitors and bring those people to malls or special places…and just keeping on going the business beside this, the laundry, my sports exercises, and all these other things which might happen…

And I always was seeking to be full of perfection. And… surprisengly as I changed my mindset about perfection– I really increased my success and the level of happiness after given up my old dogmas. People will meet my real me not a person who pretends to be friendly and kind but is totally overwhelmed.

I really had both activities inside me… seeking for perfection and pretending to be perfect, which is now a NOGO for me anymore. If people want to speak about me, I will not have the ability to stop them. But what I can hinder is that their backbiting will hit me anymore. If somebody loves me, then because of ME, not because of my house, my tasty food or any other superficial thing in the world. If somebody does not like me, I prefer that person to avoid me.

While in the past I always wanted me to fit with everybody, today I am aware about the fact that I am polarizing and it is an advantage, really.

I can promise you that if you try to be perfect you will miss the whole life and the deeper impressions it delivers to you. Being perfect is an unreachable goal, because nobody is perfect. We strive to be perfect, but we aren’t, we will never be. And that reminds me of the picture of a donkey who has that carrot in front of his head:

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And the donkey is running and running and trying to reach that carrot in order to eat it, but he will stay hungry because his owner putted the carrot in front him in order to let that donkey run and transport stuff.

Time is the most expensive thing we have.

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If you spend all your time in being perfect, you will just always see the carrot but not eating it.

  • If a writer would erase every single word which he wrote because of imperfection, he would never publish anything
  • If a runner, would avoid a race because he assumes not to do it perfectly, he will not develope at all, because he stops himself to do a great run and have that experience.
  • If a technician would not give a devise or a software a test in order to refine that product or program an invention or upgrade could not happen at all
  • If a musician would just wait and always try to be more perfect before performing that written song, perhaps he will be sorry at his deathbed, because he missed the opportunity his whole life to release that song

Why do I write about this? Because imperfection leads to success! Its not about to be the best at your first step. Its about to have the courage to go and be totally you, uncensored and authentic. The world is full of pretenders & wannabes. They are not perfect at all. 

If I would give the perfection more power then my creativity and my heart, then I would not publish any content nor do my job as wedding visionary as good as I do know.

You can easily get lost in the details. If you strive to perfection you will not perform as good as if you go out, do your thing and then wing it. Perhaps you wonder about my mindset. My own experience can teach you that people who get creative and smart in situations where others would quit, need to let go all these superficial perfection.

One costumer asks me why I am so steady, allthough her case is not confirmed right now. She was so uncertain and really got overwhelmed, that she always asked me for an advise. That does not sound perfect. But there are cases where it needs more time to check the papers. Actually italy passports or residence cards need to be controlled by the danish police office, before a wedding office can give the permission for a marriage. That is why some people tried in the past to marry with faked documents.

I told her: We are sitting on a boat. And while we are sailing with our ship on the ocean suddenly a storm appears. So you got stressed out and are concerned about the outcome… should I get stressed out too? Or would it feel the best for you if I am steady and secure and telling you that there is appearing the sun on the left and the storm will leave us again? She was happy about my speech, because she felt sure that we are on the same boat, that means I am fighting for her and her future husband to get that wedding appointment arranged no matter how complicated that case is. And my optimistic view helped her to stay patient until the great news could be finally delivered by me: successful wedding appointment arranged!

Consider about your perfection. About your path. Think about your talents. I hope that I could inspire you today to be motivated to let go that perfection and live the life to the fullest and realize your future by trying things out and developing yourself step by step.

If you like my content, it would made my day, if you give me a like for this blogpost. And if you assume another person could help that post, please share it with that person too. Start doing things which are meaningful for you. Stop trying to be perfect. It’s better to be yourself.

Ziele & Erfolg: Wie lerne ich geduldiger zu sein?

Das Thema Geduld ist eine sehr emotionale Sache. Warum? Weil es den meisten Menschen sehr schwer fällt Geduld aufzubringen. Wer damit aufgewachsen ist, dass er quasi alle Wünsche erfüllt bekommt, nur wenn er sie äußert, der wird sich noch schwerer damit tun, sich in Geduld zu üben.

Als Kind hast du Träume. Du stellst dir eine Zukunft vor, wie kein anderer. Du bist voller Tatendrang und Elan. Und irgendwann erlebst du Enttäuschungen, wirst ausgebremst, hörst auf zu spielen, weil es unangebracht erscheint, weil du ja jetzt groß bist und dich erwachsen verhalten sollst.

Wie viele Menschen suchen nach einem Wundermittel für ihre Probleme? Es soll alles ganz schnell gehen.

Du bist übergewichtig? Kein Problem, wenn du Pille xy einnimmst, hast du in 7 Wochen soundsoviel Kilo weniger auf der Waage. So das Werbeversprechen.jogging-2343558_1920.jpg

Viele Musiker wollen am liebsten direkt einen Nr. 1 Hit landen. Das ist ihr Ziel. Und wenn Sie es dann erreichen, halten nur die wenigsten durch, weiter Hitmaterial zu produzieren. Wie viele Ein-Hit-Wunder kennen wir? Unzählige.

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Spitzensportler werden nicht von einem Tag auf den anderen zum Weltmeister oder tragen eine Olympiamedaille. Es ist harte Arbeit und erfordert Disziplin und Geduld soweit zu kommen und dann sein Niveau zu halten.

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Jemand wie Steve Jobs hat nicht von einem Tag auf den anderen das Iphone oder das Ipad auf den Markt gebracht. Es bedarf unheimlich viel Fein-Gespür, Geduld und Finesse solch ein High-Technologie Produkt zu entwickeln und so zu etablieren, dass es erfolgreich wird und bleibt. Hätte er kurzfristig gedacht, wäre solch ein Produkt niemals entstanden.apple-758333_1920.jpg

Self-Made-Millionäre werden oft belächelt. Der Erfolg der Geissens mag für den ein oder anderen nicht nachvollziehbar sein. Dass das Ehepaar zu Anfangs ihrer Karriere allerdings geschuftet hat ohne Ende und immer an Ihren Traum geglaubt hat und geduldig war, wird meistens einfach ausgeblendet, wenn man erstmal sieht, was die beiden alles an Vermögen, Häusern und Autos aufgebaut haben.

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Du wirst nicht einfach über Nacht reich. Es sei denn du erbst eine große Summe oder gewinnst im Lotto. Und warum können diese Leute nur selten ihr Vermögen vermehren, sondern haben es nach kurzer Zeit einfach verprasst? Weil Sie nicht geduldig sind und an Nachhaltigkeit denken. Sie denken, jetzt, wo Sie mehr Geld haben, können Sie sich was gönnen und mehr leisten, anstatt ihr Geld sinnvoll zu investieren, damit es sich quasi wie von selbst vermehrt.

Dieser Blogbeitrag soll dich dazu inspirieren, dich mit deiner Geduld auseinanderzusetzen. Ich bin ein sehr ungeduldiger Mensch. Ich bin sehr ehrgeizig und zielstrebig und ich mag es auch nicht, wenn ich nicht die Dinge, die ich gerne hätte sofort bekomme. Das liegt in der Natur des Menschen. Wir haben nun einmal alle Wünsche, die wir erfüllt bekommen möchten:

  1. Es ist völlig egal, ob du gerade an deiner Karriere feilst, oder an deiner Ausstrahlung.
  2. Es spielt keine Rolle, ob deine Wünsche materiell sind oder nicht.
  3. Es ist nicht von Bedeutung, was andere zu deinen Wünschen sagen oder denken.

Geduld kann man erlernen.

Wie? Ja, das kommt ein wenig auf deine Persönlichkeit an.

Grundsätzlich kannst du allerdings wesentlich geduldiger werden, wenn du:

  • dir eingestehst, dass dein Ziel große Bedeutung für dich hat und das WARUM für dich klärst.
  • wenn du dein WARUM verstanden hast, dann weißt du Bescheid, wo der Hase langlaufen muss. Du wirst fokussierter und kannst dich deinem Ziel mit bewussten Schritten nähern
  • dein Ziel in einzelne Etappen aufteilst, damit du Zwischenerfolge feiern kannst. (Bsp. Wenn eine Dame gerne 4 Kleidergrößen abspecken möchte, sollte sie nicht von Gr. 46 auf Gr. 38 springen, sondern sich bei jedem einzelnen Schritt: Gr.44-42-40-38 ein chices Outfit gönnen oder ein neues Sportgerät (einen Yogakurs) oder irgendetwas, was sie mental bei ihrem Prozess unterstützt, also gewiss keine Belohnung a la Sahnetörtchen oder einer XXL-Packung Chips ;O)
  • lernst mit Ungewöhnlichem, ungewöhnlich umzugehen: Wenn etwas passiert, dass deinen Zielweg erschwert, dann gib nicht auf, sondern nehme die Herausforderung an, Dinge anders anzupacken und über dich hinauszuwachsen.
  • dich täglich neu motivierst: 10 Minuten optimistisch in die Zukunft blicken, Motivationssprüche lesen, Videos von Leuten konsumieren, die dich dabei unterstützen an dich selbst zu glauben. Was auch immer dich motiviert! Bleib am Ball und finde eine Routine, die dich voranbringt.
  • an deiner Persönlichkeit arbeitest: Werde dir über deine Stärken und Schwächen bewusst. Wenn du zum Beispiel weißt, dass bei dir sehr schnell der Geduldsfaden reißt, dann frage dich mal warum. Welche Vorbilder hattest du als Kind im Hinblick auf Geduld? Oftmals leben einem die Eltern und Verwandten etwas vor und man adaptiert deren Verhaltensweisen und Weltansichten ohne es groß zu hinterfragen. Das solltest du aber tun!
  • linear denkst und handelst! Stelle dir eine Tabelle vor. Mit einer Linie, die schräg von links unten nach rechts oben verläuft. Stück für Stück steigerst du deine Leistung. Du wirst kreativer, innovativer, lernst dazu. Entwickelst Durchhaltevermögen und entfaltest dein Potential. Der Weg ist das Ziel, sagt man so schön. Und an diesem Spruch ist viel Wahres dran. Denn wenn du vom einen Tag auf den anderen 10 kg Gewicht verlierst, aber deine Ernährungsgewohnheiten und deinen Aktivitätsmodus nicht anpasst, dann hast du die 10 Kg und noch viele mehr ganz schnell wieder auf den Hüften.
  • dir eine Treppe vorstellst, vor der du stehst. Mit vielen Stufen. Ganz oben ist dein Ziel, dein Herzenswunsch. Du musst aber erstmal alle einzelnen Stufen erklimmen, bevor du das Ziel erreichst. Wenn du dir vorstellst, dass du jeden Tag eine Stufe mit Leichtigkeit nehmen kannst, dann wird dich das wesentlich ruhiger stimmen und außerdem motivieren Dinge anzupacken, die dich deinem Ziel näher bringen.
  • dankbar bist, für das was du hast. Unser Konsumverhalten und unsere Standards verleiten uns oft zu Undankbarkeit. Warum? Weil es immer etwas neues gibt, dass vielleicht besser ist oder unsere Aufmerksamkeit auf sich zieht. Obwohl wir den Schrank voll mit Klamotten haben, möchten wir uns noch etwas neues kaufen, haben konkrete Vorstellungen von dem was uns gefällt. Obwohl unsere Kinder die Zimmer voller Spielsachen haben, haben sie unendlich viele Wünsche, sobald sie Werbung, Kataloge oder Spielzeug in Geschäften sehen. Setze dich einfach zwischendurch hin und lasse Revue passieren, was du alles schon erreicht hast und welche Geschenke dir das Leben bereits gemacht hat. Dankbarkeit erweitert nicht nur deinen Horizont, sondern hilft dir dein Mindset auf eine positive Ebene zuzusteuern.
  • die Meinung der anderen außen vor lässt. Xy fährt einen fetten Porsche? Y hat ein tolles Haus mit Pool und Sauna, D fährt andauernd in teure Luxuxhotels? Na und? Fokussiere dich nicht auf andere, sondern auf deine eigenen Ziele. Schaue, was für dich wichtig ist, welche Schritte sind notwendig, damit du deine Ziele erfolgreich bewältigst? Höre auf dich mit anderen zu vergleichen. Du bist einzigartig. Und höre auf, die Meinung von anderen über deine innere Stimme zu stellen. Niemand anders als du selbst trifft hier die Entscheidungen. Du bist derjenige, der über sein Glück oder Unglück entscheidet. Pack die Dinge an, die dir wichtig sind.
  • aufhörst dich selbst mit Ausreden zu beruhigen: Ja, wenn das Wetter jetzt besser wäre, würde ich joggen gehen. Wenn Oma Erna mir nicht die Schokolade geschenkt hätte, hätte ich sie auch nicht verdrückt. Wenn ich mehr Zeit gehabt hätte, dann wäre ich ein besserer Musiker geworden. Wenn die anderen an mich glauben würden, dann wäre ich viel geduldiger und könnte alles erreichen. Falsch. Höre auf, die Schuld bei anderen zu suchen. Es liegt alles nur an dir. Du kannst entscheiden, dass du bei Regen mit Funktionskleidung joggen gehst. Du kannst Oma Ernas Schokolade einfach jemand anderem geben oder von mir aus einfrieren. Du kannst dir die Zeit nehmen, das Instrument zu erlernen, anstatt vor der Glotze zu hängen und über Zeitmangel zu klagen. Menschen, die etwas erreichen möchten nutzen ihre Zeit sinnvoll. Und du musst erstmal an dich selbst glauben, bevor es andere tun. Die halten dir nur den Spiegel vor. Solange du nicht an dich glaubst, wirst du auch nicht die Geduld aufbringen können, deine Ziele zu verfolgen. Keine Ausreden mehr. Widme dich deinen Themen, deinen Zielen, deinen Stärken, deinen Schwächen. Kreiere einen Masterplan für dich selbst und halte dich grob dran.
  • es dir so schön wie möglich machst: Zum Beispiel wenn du abnehmen willst und nur noch Haferschleim oder Kohlsuppe ist, dann wird deine Geduld bald am Ende sein. Wenn du allerdings kreativ, gesund kochst mit vielen Vitaminen und farbenfroh, dann wird sich das Mood-Food auch auf deine Laune auswirken. Sorge für einen Weg, der dir Spaß macht, einen ohne viele Schlaglöcher uns Steine, sondern wie ein bei Super-Mario Spiel, wo du springen darfst, und Früchte erntest, Bonuspunkte erhälst und fliegen darfst. Du musst dich immer wieder mit kleinen Etappenzielen motivieren. Und wenn du die ersten Erfolge feierst und dich an das Glücksgefühl gewöhnst, dann weißt du dass du auf dem richtigen Weg bist!
  • dich davon überzeugen lassen kannst, dass es besser ist langfristig zu denken, als auf kurze Erfolge zu pochen, die sich dann einfach schnell in Luft auflösen.

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Was hilft dir dabei, geduldiger zu werden? Fühlst du dich motiviert? Ich hoffe ja, dann habe ich mein Ziel erreicht.

 

Be aware of who you want to be

In times of social media and unlimited access to viral knowledge it is very important to be aware about yourself. In the last weeks I recognized some people who I follow on Instagram (@nidellinger is my account if you want to check it out) who have taken a social media fast. The results of their fast were pretty the same.

Kimmy from @sheisinherapron shared her thoughts about her social media pause in her latest YouTube Video. If you don’t know her, she is living in the United States and a proud mom which shares her cleaning routine, home decor ideas, life as a mom and wife on her YouTube channel. She did speak about the fact that she did find out about her addiction to her phone while the fast.

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She realized quickly that her smartphone was like something which gives her a kind of value by scrolling down the social media feed. She was a little bit shocked about her behavior, because she checked her phone too many times a day, especially her Instagram account. That is why she felt for example bored, sad or angry. It was like an escape from the reality of her daily life ;O).

While the social media timeout she detected that her hand just was searching for her phone in order to scroll and she wanted to stop that addicted behavior immediately.

The social media time out let her feel how often she checked herself out, her body was there but her mind not present for those she loves. She recognized that her kids did not got the attention she wanted them to offer.

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Furthermore she found out that although Pinterest was a great inspiration for her so far, she was even more creative while she explored her own ideas during the social media time-out instead of just copying things and ideas of others.

Actually she found time for things she wanted to do since a long time before. Scrolling through your phone can take five minutes here, 10 minutes there and if you count the amount of time you are online— you will realize you were just busy with your phone!

By staying away from social media she stopped comparing her work to other mompreneurs and realized that her own way feels good. It made her stronger in many different areas. And grateful about what she already achieved and what is gifted to her in her life.

Kimmy’s story inspired me to write this blogpost, because she became aware of herself and her faults. And awareness is so important.

How often do you get distracted by scrolling down on your smartphone?

And did you know that it is really impolite to speak with somebody while taking your visual attention on your phone?

I love the sentence of Simon Sinek:

„When someone asks for your time and you took your phone away to speak to that person, that is real leadership!“

As a mom I am a certain kind of leader too. I take care of my own tribe ;O). And as a entrepreneur there are situations were I have certain deadlines or important tasks to do. It is very easy to get connected with my smartphone. I could allow our kids to watch lots of cartoons instead of playing with them. Then I could properly get more work done.

But it does not feel good, to be busy all day long with a smartphone for me. It feels bad if you think of the consequences of to much social media consume and using smartphones for many hours.

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  • But I don’t want it easy.
  • I want to offer them my best in order to get great results for their personal developement
  • I want them to see that they are important.
  • I want them to learn winning and loosing in life e.g. by playing boardgames or having a certain challenge
  • I want them to explore their skills and their boundaries by running and jumping outside.
  • I want them to value those things which we are gifted with
  • I want them to believe in themselves.
  • I want them to live a life according to their passions & talents

That is not build by social media consume, nor by tv or any other distraction which just seems to be the easiest way as a parent in our society. I was shocked about moms who give ipads to their children in order to fall asleep instead of reading a good-night-story and offering a hug to them. I still cannot understand why mothers hand out smartphones to toddlers in order to get them busy with that technology. And I will never understand moms who prefer to put their children in front of the tv or an ipad to eat their meals instead of sitting together as a family at one table and connect with each other.

Be aware about who you want to be, be aware about your surrounding, about those people who influence you and pay attention to your spouse in a proper way. Awareness is the key to upgrade yourself properly!

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Strong relationships are build by awareness:

  • If somebody means something to you- take care, listen and be present (full not with a sideview on your phone)
  • Be kind to people who could need some kindness because nobody offers it to them
  • Respect others even if you dont share their opinion
  • Accept differences. Nobody is perfect. It would be very boring if we would be all equal and just running around like robots.
  • Offer your help and support others who go through a hard time
  • Stop to judge other people. If you cannot offer value or a certain solution for somebody, shut up!
  • Don’t pretend something which you are not ready for. If you promise something you need to do that thing. If you can’t – don’t promise something to somebody.

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Be aware of yourself.

How would you like to be?

Which value do you want to bring in this world?

How can you realize your „vision“?

Update yourself by visualizing how you want to be seen by others: What should people say about you, if you leave a room? What do you want to be famous for? 

A stay-at-home-mom can inspire lots of others moms by her behaviour. It does not depend on your job, who you are. It is the deep inside. Your heart will connect with other people. Being aware of your skills, talents and your passion is very powerful. Once you learned to be aware about who you want to be, it is easier to focus on certain goals.

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Today I like you to motivate to take a seat for 5-10 minutes and brainstorm about yourself:

  1. How do you see yourself right now?
  2. How would you love to be?
  3. How do you want to be perceived by others?

You can redesign you ego by awareness! YOU CAN CHANGE TO THE GOOD, if you focus and lead yourself to the point you want to see yourself!

Zeitumstellung: Fünf Alltagtipps, die dir dabei helfen in der dunklen Jahreszeit bei guter Laune zu bleiben!

Die Uhr wurde wiedermal umgestellt. Angeblich soll das im nächsten Jahr nicht mehr auf uns zukommen. Allerdings ist es jetzt wieder soweit: Die Winterzeit ist diejenige, die uns nun begleitet. Einigen macht die Zeitumstellung schwer zu schaffen. Wir Menschen sind bekanntlich Gewohnheitstiere. Und wenn du immer um 16.00 Uhr deinen Kaffee trinkst, dann möchtest du ihn auch um 16.00 Uhr (sprich 15.00 Uhr Winterzeit) und nicht erst um 16.00 Uhr Winterzeit (sprich gefühlter 17.00 Uhr Uhrzeit).  Weiterlesen „Zeitumstellung: Fünf Alltagtipps, die dir dabei helfen in der dunklen Jahreszeit bei guter Laune zu bleiben!“

Pure Anger: How to deal with that emotion in a proper way!

I was inspired by myself for this blogpost. High Five. Why? Because I really got mad the last time as my husband complained about something. And I literally felt pure anger like never before. Weiterlesen „Pure Anger: How to deal with that emotion in a proper way!“

Motivational Monday: Are you able to re-evaluate a relationship?

Strong relationships are built by those people who care about. If you want good people in your life you have to focus on those who support you instead of judging you.

I was inspired by a humble woman who wrote about relationship skills and that she always had a hard time with her mother. They met each other and their get-together always did end up with the speech of her mother: „AcctuallyI regret that we met each other today. I am always so sad after meeting you.“ Usually they would not understand each other and have a verbal fight… but that woman loved her mom although both were so different. That is the reason why she thought about a solution to improve that relationship as soon as possible.

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The great idea of re-evaluating a relationship came up and she decided to give her mom another chance. Before the next meeting she embraced the progress. She told herself to just stay in the moment: no past, no judging, not trying to convince her mom about her own opinions. She focussed on having a good time with her mom and just stay calm.

Surprisingly the meeting went really great. She enjoyed the company with her mom for the first time. They spent a whole day together: they went shopping, ate dinner and watched a great movie. They never had laughed so much before.

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The daughter really improved the relationship with her mother by this meeting. She respected her for the first time with all these differences and opposite character of her own. By reading that story I felt so inspired by her course of action.

  • Why should we not give other people a second chance to be a part of our life?
  • Are we judging others because of our selective perception?
  • Do we take the speech and actions of others too personally?
  • Do we always need a confirmation of the outside to feel good? 
  • If we are able to change on a daily basis, why do we manifest a certain picture of people in our memory/mind forever? 

Unfortunately I am really bad in changing my mind about people who did not find the kind of respect towards me I assume to deserve. That is the reason why if somebody acts like a jerk towards me, that person will be strongly „game over“ for me. I am really friendly and uncomplaining, always trying to fit myself into situations with people. But if I find out that somebody is using me or unfair, then he/she has to bear with the consequences.

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Perhaps it is just a manner to protect myself of bad people and evil. Nevertheless I am believing in the fact that everybody deserves to get good attention. People are so different. Everbody is unique. And with that knowledge you can really change your mindset. Why? Because if you know that somebody is the opposite of you, it is easier to understand, that the person has another perception then yourself. Other values, different opinions, another past, a different present and another future then yours.

try to be a rainbow in Someone's cloud

Very often we are in connection with other humans, which we would not choose voluntary. For example you are working in a company. Then you have to fit yourself with the other colleagues if you don’t want to be a smug.

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Or imagine you are in a partnership with somebody. In most cases you will have contact with family & friends of your spouse too. That can be a big challenge. On other terms and conditions you could just walk away and focus on something different. In this case to look the other way is not an option for you.

Think about all those relationships, where your stomach starts to ache by just thinking of. Can you find a way to improve those relationships?

  1. Embrace the moment.
  2. Stay friendly and calm
  3. Let the other person as he/she is (no judging)
  4. Respect that another person acts different to you
  5. Be aware of your good character and stay politely
  6. Sometimes less speech is better then discussing (save your energy for the important stuff!)
  7. Focus on having a good time (be positive, supporting and low-key)
  8. If somebody offers you an execuse, you should consider to accept it.
  9. Make peace with your past.
  10. Try to bring something new into a relationship, which got kind of stucked.

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We as humans are living in communities. We are all different but we can support each other with our unique views of the world. I am always dreaming of a society which does not need envy, hate and war. Sadly it all starts with one person: ourselves.

  • If you are not able to forgive, another person will not forgive you either.
  • If you are not able to improve your character, who else should do that job for you?
  • It is your life! Be aware avout your decisions and your own faults first, before you put your finger on somebody else.

Most of the time it is a big mistake to be filled with bitterness. Perhaps the other person was not able to act different in a certain situation towards you. Why you should be bothered forever because somebody hurt you?

I know, its complicated. But if you are able to re-evaluate your relationship, you will be surprised how happier you become afterwards. At first it might look like a huge mountain you have to climb. After embracing the situation it will not feel like this anymore. You will become stronger then before, smarter and more aware of yourself and your surroundings. 

Hopefully I could inspire you today, as the woman inspired me this weekend. Which relationship should you re-evaluate? Have a great start into your new week! Use the comment-function to write your insights down.

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