Sometimes in your body are occouring strange feelings if you are thinking about something you really want to do. There is your heart, which likes to achieve something new, bringing that joy into your life. And on the other side there is your mindset, which tells you what to do or what you should or could or would. The mindset requests all your thinking and feelings and takes a big influence on your personal point of view.
We all grew up with the dogma of our sorroundings. Parents, familymembers, teachers… they all shaped our characters. They put a mark on everything we did in the past.
Do you know those phrases? For example “Dont run too fast!”, “Don’t be so messy, its disgusting!”, “Hurry up! Dont be lazy…, or very famous: “If somebody wants to be successful he has to try hard for it.” Perhaps you have heared other phrases in the past, but those speach of the persons who were close to you in your childhood are now still deep grounded in your soul. And if you try to take a decision, those phrases will tell you their right or wrong. But is it you? Your inner voice? NO! Its not.
Okay, let us play a game. Imagination game. Trust me. Just imagine what you read right now: There is a person called Sandra. She is really tough, working in a good position in a big company in the finance industry. She is well-shaped, very attractive and takes care of her visual identity. She is working very hard, and at the end of her day she is really tired. But there is always somebody inside herself telling her that it is not enough. She always tries to be on time, handling all business stuff as professionell as she can. Her colleagues admire her and her performance.
But if she will be finished with her work and comes home, she is feeling like a wreck. She is not impressed by herself, really not. It’s a pity, but she always wanting to optimize her style, her performance & her working achievements. Never feels satisfied by herself, never is proud of herself.
But she is really unlucky in private. At home there is a mess. She feels ashame. Nobody of her collueges ever came to visit her flat. She is not able to handle her houswork. Do you know why? She is exhausted. She is so busy at her work and not giving her self a gift of a break, that she is running on empty, if she is at home. She is so tired that she is unable to unload the dishwasher or just clean her dining table. And do you know what? She is really feeling lonely. Allthough she has a lot of contacts at work and at the gym, in private she is very isolated, because she feels ashame, that her home is not tidy and well arranged as it should be.
Do you feel it? She is looking kind of successful, but in reality she is totally unlucky with her life. Who is telling her to try so hard at work? Who is making her to be that lonely? Her mother told her everytime as she was a child, that untidyness is a bad habit. As a small girl she was exhorted by her mom that her room is not as clean as it should be. It made her feeling small and bad, if her mom asked her. “Dont you feel ashame for that mess you made? People don’t like untidy people. If you will stay like this, nobody wants to spend time with you!”. Her mom used that phrases perhaps less then ten times, but it was etched into Sandras memory.
Her dad was always working hard. But in his position he was always trying to earn more for the family, but did not achieve his goal. As Sandra was small he wished her to make it better then himself. Beeing well-educated & earning enough money to have a higher standard then himself was his aim for his daughter. So he often told her that phrase: “You have to go an extra mile. Work harder, and you will be successful. If somebody wants to be smart, he has so try hard for it.” Okay he meant it in a good way, for him it was a good adwise. But these phrases made Sandra to work harder and harder and not fix a border for herself. She felt exhausted but could not stop to burn herself out.
The words of her mother made her feel that a person who does not have a perfect clean home is not adorable. Sandra thought that nobody could love her, if there were a sink full of dirt dishes or a pile of unwashed clothes on the floor. You know what? In her opinion she should be perfect at work and at home but thats a impossible thing. Her working day were more than 8 hours.
And then she met that man at the gym. Obviously he seems to be attracted by her. He asked her to have a drink together and because she felt lonely and he was so kind she confirmed his invitation suddenly. They went out together a couple of times and then he asked her to come over to her flat.
She was shocked and could not handle it. He recognized her reaction and asked her, if she want to see his flat at first. She felt relieved and puted her hand into his and went to his home.
Oh, it was a holy mess. And he did not feel ashame. NOPE! He was laughing and just telling her: Sorry, for that mess. I am not that good at organizing my stuff. But I wanted to spent some more time with you and if you like to dance with me right now, we could hear some great music… He did not wait to get an answer for her–just putting some nice music on and made some crazy moves to get her laugh. Sandra was standing in front of a chaotic man who was so lovely and funny that she changed her mindset: NO, messy people are adorable. Messy people are not bad at all. I think I like him more than I thought. My home ist really tidy by comparison to this mess! She smiled…
Sandra listened to her inner voice for the first time. She founded “Her inner perception”. And she did let go her mothers oldfashioned phrases that just clean people would be loved.
Did you enjoy this story? Hopefully… you now what? Sandra became another person after a while. She did found her inner voice, because she met somebody who listened to his inner voice and he had shown her to listen to these deep power inside herself, not to a mindset of her past.
After some month they really got a good relationship, she felt loved and did not feel ashame to show him her home anymore. They spent a lot of time together and she was really lucky.
At work she was happy too. Because she found out, that she does not have to try harder, but put her heart into her job. The colleagues recognized her personal changing and felt more impressed by her than before. In the past she was just working and giving her best for the company by trying hard. But now she developed a special kind of charisma which seemed to please al those clients who would appear in that company she worked in. After a while her boss asked her to get a higher position. She could get a higher salary and get great responsibility. Why? Because she stopped to try harder, just knowing that her skills are good and beeing totally herself.
Thanks to that guy who she met at the gym. Because his inner voice told him that these grey mouse cold be a red cat, if she just would listen to her inner power. Sandra was offered a big oppurtunity of changing her mindset ones for all!
Everybody has a inner voice. Some people ignore these kind of power. I want to advise you to write a list about your personal phrases. Did your parents, relatives, teachers, friends told you some sentences in the past which always are repeated by yourself right now?
Do you think these phrases are right? Is it your opinion? Or just the opinion of another person?
Find your own phrases. Find your own solutions. Find you own “I want to do’s” and that “I dont want anymore…”
Do you know what? If I would have listened to my father in the past, I would have sitting in a healthy insurance company working there, being totally bored. Because I am not that kind of person having a 08/15 job, sitting at a table with a calculator just to make sure I will have a secure income at the beginning of the next month. No. Its not me. But if I would have listened to my dad advices I would not achieve my personal goals which are important for my life. My father wanted the best for me to be safe, but I like to work unindependently, setting my own rules, working in an comfy atmosphere… scheduling my working time and free time by myself… beeing creative and doing something which is totally me.
So, I made my dream come true…and put my wedding agency as a strong pillar into my life. And for 2018 I will always try my best to listen to my inner voice, more than before. My emotional side helps couples to feel comfortable and to trust in me. I am really happy to got rid of some old phrases of my past, which really stopped me before to do what I can do.
I hope you find out some more about yourself in 2018. There is a power sleeping in yourself. You just have to awaken your inner voice. Find your likes and dislikes, you pros and cons, your aims and oppurtunities in 2018!
Make the best of yourself! Be grateful about who you are, every single day. You derserve it.